Why do these things happen to me!?

Question

I moved from California 9 months ago, I am 14 and was loved at my old middle school, now I live in Colorado springs. I go to Challenger, and the whole 8th grade hates me, WTF?, I do nothing to make them think I'm a freak, or anything, there is also Racial " problems" at my school. And to top it off, there is no freakin chance of asking anyone out, because apparently I'm the freak. Yet, I do have a small group of semi- friends. Now usually, you have to beat the #@$*&! out of someone ( with good reason ) to get some respect., which I will have no problem doing. Should I stick to the non violent way, or get respect the traditional way?

Answer 1

go non violent. It's the only way. You've made it 9 months so far and you should be proud of that. Things will change. Stick with it and you will be okay.

Answer 2

Wow. I'm from Colorado Springs, but went to Sabin and Carmel Middle Schools, not Challenger. There actually were a lot of racial tensions at Carmel, and I wound up in a few fights without even trying. One of them I won, one I lost, and one that was broken up too quickly to be decided.

One bonus to your situation is that because you are young and in a school, which the court considers a coercive environment, there are not likely to be any lasting consequences to violent situations you become involved in. Keep in mind, though--once you start fighting more people will want to fight you.

My suggestion is that you relax. Don't let things get to you. Middle School was a nightmare for me, and I only know one or two adults who say it was a good time for them. There are too many immature students and too many hormones in one building to make it a pleasant place to be.

The upside is that High School was better, there are more activities, more sports, and a wider variety of social groups wherein to form friendships. My life took off once I became an adult. I have travelled all over the United States and Canada, and to parts of Europe. I've met and worked with all kinds of different people, and will soon have my bachelor's degree (what can I say, I took my time). For most people, the best part of their life happens after High School and especially after Middle School.

As for getting respect the violent way, I don't think it's worth it. People who treat others poorly for no reason simply feel bad about themselves. It seems cliche, but you will find that it is true more ofted than not. The respect of those people is not worth having, and certainly not worth fighting for. The fact that you are taking the time to consider your situation in a thoughtful way shows that you are at an emotional and spiritual level that places you above those attitudes.

Lastly, I suggest that you check out some of the hangouts in the City. Colorado Springs isn't a raging place, but there is fun to be had. The open space there is incredible--the Red Rocks area especially--and the biking trails are the best in the country. If you haven't seen the Garden of the Gods yet, you have to go. Early in the morning just before sunrise is the best time.

There are all kinds of bookstores and coffee shops downtown, and two nightclubs that I know of that allow minors in until 10 pm. If you are religious there are also many churches of different beliefs, and some of the youth groups have excellent activities. You don't have to be a complete fundamentalist moron to join most of them either.

I know it's tough to feel like you don't fit in. Don't worry about it! It will pass and you'll be a happier person for having gone through it.

Answer 3

I'd say stick to the non-violent way. Beating someone up might, instead of making you no longer a freak, make you the freak with an anger management problem. Not to mention, you could get in serious trouble from the school, your parents, or even the police. Even if you're never popular, you can make more friends by being nice to people. You might click with someone you never expected to be friends with. If you want more friends, also look outside of your school at volunteer activities, religious groups, or local hangouts.

Answer 4

I taught at CMS for 11 years and I know what you are talking about. You are also dealing with the fact of being an 8th grader, typically the toughest year socially that there is.

Be yourself and respect will follow...although it will take time.

And don't take the violent way out...or in D-20 you will be out the door. Fighting is not the norm there and will not ge tyou the result it might have at another school.

If you can, try to talk with a teacher. (Coast, Hesselberg, Cardoza, Gustafson, Ziek are nice people that I knew and I think are still there.)

Hang in there.

Phil
40 years of Colorado Springs
http://pikes-peak-cafe.com

Answer 5

Well, you need to ask yourself why they think you are a freak. Are you provoking them at all?
You have your whole life ahead of you to gain the respect you deserve, why would you want respect from people you dont respect in return?

Middle school and high school seem like such an eternity, however once it's over, time really does go by much faster.
It doesnt seem like you are incompetent in making friends, you just need to find people more like yourself. Perhaps you can find people more to your tastes outside of your school.
Concentrate more on the things that make you happy, opposed to the things that bother you.

You will be fine, at the end of the day, it's only a few years until you can go back to California by yourself.

Best of luck to you... put your negative energy into something more creative.

Answer 6

The only "difference" is that you are new, while they have had a more time to get to know each other. Give them time to get to know you - and show that you are just another normal person, just like them. They'll warm up. Participate in the events, volunteer to do things. Give them time.

Answer 7

time will help you,please do not do exceeding things,that is not good method at all !and will drag you to mud.
I am from China ,a Chinese teacher ,hope my word will work out

Answer 8

middle school is the worst years in anyones life be your self and if they don't like you then fu*k it it gets better in high school, you'll see.