I have a ten year old son whom I had at 16...he knows his real father and his real father is my best friend. Everytime he goes over there he hates it...is this normal??
2006-08-18 14:27:53 · 20 answers · asked by donna f 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Perhaps your son does not understand why, if his father is your best friend, the two of you don't live together - after all, he probably has at least one friend whose parents, living together, don't get along as well as you two do.
He is going to be entering adolescence and will be surlier and more remote, so you have to get this problem in hand as soon as you can.
First of all - have there been any changes at his father's? at your house?
Secondly, is he required to go over there? If not, why does he go, if he hates it?
Thirdly, what is expected of him when he goes there?
You haven't provided a lot of information so one can only generalize. Try to ask yourself these questions and come to an understanding of what might be going on with him.
2006-08-18 14:33:29 · answer #1 · answered by kerangoumar 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Something is upsetting him when he goes over. I have found going for a ride I get more info out of my kids, so go riding and ease into the why, do it in a way where he is the one bringing it up. Maybe remember something that you know he and his dad shared and he enjoyed then go from there. But it is not normal for him to hate going everytime something is bothering him. Good luck.
2006-08-19 01:23:46 · answer #2 · answered by shortansassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't feel he has any rapport with his dad, considering you have never lived together. Firstly, I would ask him why he doesn't like going there. Does his dad have a wife/girlfriend? He may have a very legitimate reason for not wanting to go. I think every child needs to have both a male and female role model in their life. I think i would find out what the problem is first and take it from there
2006-08-19 15:00:46 · answer #3 · answered by leolady0765 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You son maybe acting a little weird because he might think that his dad left him because he didn't love him er whatever. My cousin had her child at 19 and the dad didn't stick around b/c he has kids in other parts of the county anyway she told me that she felt a little betrayed or like her dad didn't love her thats why her parents aren't married. So it is understandable that your son might be hurt if he is feeling this way.Just talk to him ask him about it. Tell him why you guys aren't married and explain to him that most families in america are like this. Good Luck!
2006-08-19 04:17:44 · answer #4 · answered by dragonflygurl_32 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's 10 years old, so he should be able to articulate to you why he doesn't like going over there. Ask him why, tell him you won't get mad at him for being honest. If he tells you be fair and don't jump to conclusions. It could be that he resents his father for not being there for him whenever he wants his father. Maybe his father, and this CAN happen, molests him... just a thought, and God forbid. It could be that he's afraid of his dad for strict disciplinary reasons... You're going to have to ask him.
2006-08-18 19:42:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has a good reason for hating it. Explain to him he can tell you anything and if he has a good reason then you will work out what the next step is. You really need to get out of him why, it would scare me what the possible answer may be but i'm a worry wort when it comes to possible abuse
2006-08-20 00:14:11 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably is pretty normal. Have you ever considered he may want you to have more of a relationship with his real father and that is why he acts out.
But, as I say, kids know a lot of why they feel certain ways. Talk to your son. He may not understand how he feels but probably you will after talking to him.
2006-08-18 14:34:55 · answer #7 · answered by MrPurrfect 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kids can be emotional little creatures, especially when approaching puberty. I would sit down and have a very serious talk with him, but don't be pushy, about what's happening over there that he doesn't like. It's worth looking into. Just be gentle, and be on his side. Try to be as open minded and easy to talk to as possible.
added on- maybe mention that his father doesn't need to know about the conversation
God Bless you!!
2006-08-18 14:37:41 · answer #8 · answered by feathereafter 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe he is a bit mixed up seeing yoiu are not married to his dad and for this reason resents him a 10 year old is just going thru pubercant a very tramatic time for a boy who sees his dad is only his moms friend
2006-08-18 20:05:04 · answer #9 · answered by Elaine F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it is normal for a kid to hate going to his dad's house if he is not having fun. His dad may be nice to him, but he might not be entertaining him. Ask your son what he does at his dad's house.
2006-08-19 11:36:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋