We have been together for nearly a year. We have been good friends for 3 years. The last time he had a steady girlfriend was 11 years ago. He doesn't want kids. That's fine because I have 2 teenagers. But I want to be married or in a serious, commited relationship (with him, of course). So, do I just deal with it and have fun until he changes his mind or I get tired of the situation? Also, if he doesn't make some sort of a commitment, I want to move closer to my family (several states away). When I tell him this he just says that I should do what I feel is right for me. It would be nice if he'd say,"No. Don't go."
2006-08-18 14:24:51 · 29 answers · asked by cheerstoyou 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like he would be happy to be rid of you. Take the hint and move on.
2006-08-18 14:30:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want something different, then it's obvious that you should move on.
1. Last committed relationship 11 years ago.
2. Anti-commitment.
The only conclusion you can draw is that he won't marry you, and if you're looking for a ring, look elsewhere. The signs are oh so obvious.
2006-08-18 15:29:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have only known him for a year ... it is too early to expect a marriage proposal especially from someone that has a commitment phobia .... for God's sake, his last serious relationship was 11 years ago .... i take it he is not serious about you either ... girl, HE IS JUST NOT INTO YOU .... sorry has he ever said that he loved you? when you talk about leaving to go closer to your family ..... he says, do what is best for you ... all the signs are there .... when he says he does not want kids ... he means not with a single parent of two teenage kids already ... when he turns about 37 he may be ready for marriage and kids ... just not with you and not at this time
2006-08-18 14:42:40 · answer #3 · answered by jus j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he hasn't had a steady girlfriend in 11 years he's probably not ready for marriage. if he is loving and monogamous maybe you should just be happy with that for now? we all want the 2.3 kids and the picket fence but sometimes that just isn't realistic... if you thik you can find a better guy who wants to marry etc. then go for it. but sometimes you don't realize what you have until you lose it. don't throw the baby out with the bathwater so to speak. and FYI...ALMOST a year of dating is a bit soon to be thinking about marriage or living together IMO. If things are going smooth, don't rush things, just let them develop and see where it leads.
2006-08-18 14:39:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i dont think you will like my answer. you have been good friends for 3 years & been together for 1 year. & he has said he dosent want to live with you & he dosent want to marry you. & when you said you were thinking of moving away he said do what you feel is right for you. SO he has gone all round the world. NO-kids NO- marriage NO living together& move if you want. HELLO he DOSENT want you BUT he is too much of a coward to tell you. SO i think you should move back to your family & forget about the idiot make a new good life for you & the kids & you will hopefully meet a new MAN ( not a mouse ) who will love you & want to be with you. good luck.
2006-08-18 14:39:36 · answer #5 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You can't really make it work with someone who doesn't want the same things you want and either you wait untill he is ready or move on because the longer your with him the more you are going to want him to marry you and if you can't wait and look past the fact that he is not ready you are always going to nag him about it and if you hold it in its just going to mess up you inside and your relationship with him so either deal with the fact that he is not ready or move on. Deal and if you CAN deal don't keep bringing it up to him and other people because guess what its only going to push him away from you and then its over.
Say to your self
Can I deal with the fact that he is not ready and I am??
2006-08-18 14:29:09 · answer #6 · answered by LaToya J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he says you should do what feels right, it means he has become indifferent as to the condition of your relationship. It also implies that he does not ever want to take it to a deeper level of commitment. You can do better than that. Go ahead and move back near your family. I'm sure that they'll help you cope. ^.^
2006-08-18 14:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh there is absolutely something wrong with this guy. 11 years between gf's?? Yes you should move on, this relationship isn't going where you want it to go and thats like getting on the uptown bus and being disappointed that you didn't end up downtown. Take a different bus.
2006-08-18 14:30:32 · answer #8 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say move closer to your family. If you've mentioned moving and he hasn't asked you to stay, then he's not ready to committ to you and may not be anytime soon. Don't waste your time waiting for someone who is in a different place than you are.
2006-08-18 14:32:15 · answer #9 · answered by dontcallmeheidi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. If you want kids/and a commitment, its time to move on.
I believe you already know this deep inside. he will use you as long as you let him do it. Good luck....you can make the move.
2006-08-18 14:32:19 · answer #10 · answered by Swashmistress 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's old enough and not committed to you. Give him one more chance to take a firm stand, let him think about it for a few weeks, than give him a final day's notice. Leave if you don't accept his answer.
2006-08-18 14:31:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋