Guys and Porn...?

Question

Why, in a happy relationship of 2 years, does my boyfriend STILL look at porn?
I've caught him doing it several times and he denies everything, saying he "doesn't know" why he does it, or sometimes saying he didn't do it at all that day, but my computer's history says otherwise.
Why would a guy do that after he promised not to unless I have my monthly cycle (then I don't really care), or if I'm out of town? Why would he continue to do it after I've cried so many times and he knows it hurts me? Why do guys have to be ******* lying bastards? It seems even the most sincere and "good" guys out there have some serious issues and continue to blame women for being compulsive... he's the one who can't stop jerkin' it eventhought I'm in the next room and will do ANYTHING he wants, whenever. What the **** more do I have to do to please you stupid men?

Answer 1

Because we don't think that every orgasm should come with a conversation. Seriously, don't take it so personally, and just be glad that's all he does. It doesn't matter how hot you are, or what kind of freaky sh!t you do for him, he will ALWAYS want to jerk it by himself when he gets the chance. You can either learn to live with it (like I said, don't take it personally) or you can leave him.

If you think you need to leave him, then you really need to think about that one. Weigh everything out, and start looking at the big picture. Is it really that important to you? Maybe you can get into it with him?

Keep in mind, his hand and his penis have been there is WHOLE life, and they never nag or ask him how he's feeling.

Answer 2

Why do you want to control what your boyfriend looks at? You seem to think that his looking at pictures is a reflection on you, You may be the greatest girl in the world, but he enjoys the porn. It does not hurt you, unless you let it.

The fact that you are willing to please him sexually is great. The fact that you seem to feel that you should be the only thing that turns him on is a problem. You say " he promised not to unless I have my monthly cycle (then I don't really care), or if I'm out of town?" What you are really saying is that you think that you should have 100% of his attention, unless you do not want it!

He enjoys the stimulation that porn provides at this point in his life. If demands nothing, and does not judge him. When you try to change someone, they will either resist (such as he is doing) the changes, or decide that the person trying to force the changes is not worth the problems they are causing. He will either do what he wants, and you have to accept that it has nothing to do with you, or he will hide it from you. When he starts hiding that, it is easier to hide other things as well, and soon there is no real basis for a relationship.

Accept that he likes the porn, or break up with him. I do not think he has a problem with porn, the problem is you are trying to control him!

Answer 3

For many guys it becomes an addiction. I think we all start out being curious about it, but I have some friends with truly no interest, and others who look at it every day. Unfortunately, at the addictive end, it does tend to drive a wedge between partners in a relationship. I don't think it's the porn itself that's the problem, it's the addictive behavior, which would be the same with alcohol, drugs, shopping. And the computer is there all the time and porn is just a couple clicks away.

As with any addiction, he won't seek help unless he thinks he has a problem. I think you need to do a couple things: 1) Think about whether his behavior is really affecting your relationship, or if you just have a personal aversion to porn. If he was painting your house every day instead of looking at porn, would that bother you as much? Or is the fact that he's doing it despite your asking him not to that bothers you? Personally I think that's a legitimate gripe, but you have to decide what it means to you. 2) Evaluate how he is treating you. Do you still have a good physical relationship? How about emotional? Or is he staying up hours after you go to bed, cruising porn sites? Porn addiction isolates people and destroys relationships. 3) If you feel that your relationship is endangered by his behavior, you need to lay it on the line for him. If he doesn't care, then you need to decide if he's worth it. Good luck Honey, this is a tough one.

Answer 4

I think you need to ask yourself why you it bothers you. Why does it make you cry when you find out your boyfriend masturbated? Are you happy with *your* sex life?

You said that your relationship has been happy for 2 years, and yet you imply that your boyfriend is a stupid lying bastard with serious issues....and he thinks *you* are compulsive.

Perhaps you should ask yourself why you "will do ANYTHING he wants, whenever". I'm not sure that that is a healthy stance for you to take.

This probably sounds more harsh than I mean it to be. All I really want to say is that maybe *both* of you have some issues that need to be worked through. Therapy might help you work it out.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I could have done better.... I could have had more ...thats the feeling which goes through every guys mind after sex. YUP guys are never satisfied no matter who you are or what you do ,.. even with the best girl (EVEN Angelina jolie) they will be fantasising about other things.
Some of them Dont ... and i dont think they are normal.
Guys and porn.......... inseperable.
Leave him alone he is normal.

Answer 6

Honey, if he is jerking his thing and looking at porn...and you would do anything he wanted, and still, he keeps doing it...

I guess that's not a happy relationship anymore now is it?

If you really do love him..then you may want to help him but it's tough to break an habit or whatever you may call it..

But in my opinion, I think you'd be better of without him..there really are other men...who won't lie to you(or not so much) and who don't need porn...

Answer 7

Don't you masturbate? (don't LIE!)
Sometimes people want selfish satisfaction...that's why they masturbate. Since men are visually aroused, they look at porn, while we tend to read racy novels.
It is NOT a judgement on a partner......if you can't accept and deal/forget, you may as well live a lonely celibate life forever.
They ALL do it, hon.

Answer 8

he has a problem. porn is not a problem. he knows it hurts you and continues to do it--and that needs to be fixed or at least you have to come to some reasonable compromise. maybe he can't completely give it up. what will you do if that is the case?

i know how you feel. i had the same problem. someone who truly loves you wouldn't want to continue to make you feel bad or invaluable.

there's someone else in the world who will want to put you on a pedestal. maybe it's not him.

Answer 9

It is kind of like watching an action movie. You know you are not going to take on an army of guys by yourself, but you still like watching someone else do it.

Answer 10

its totally normal for a guy to do that. what you should be worried about is your self esteem and being up your mans ***. guys have sexual fantasy's (just like we do) and they jerk off to fulfill them. would you rather him go out and cheat on you or just jerk off to porn? leave him alone and let him do his thing. you bitching at him is only going to make the situation worse.