she is gf 19 of my son 20.we'll call her Tina. i allowed her to move in, which was a mistake but i felt sorry for her because i was told she had no place to go. her aunt who had guardianship of her kicked her out. father is dead and i was told mom is a druggy and had no room for her. 5 months later she is pregnant. everyone is told by her to not say anything to anyone about it, not even her bestfriend because it would get back to her mother. supposedly she hasn't lived with her mom for yrs and didn't even get a call from her on her birthday or Christmas. mom lives close by too.
she started looking for work unsucessfully until all of a sudden her mom starts calling and telling her she can come work with her...like mom KNOWS she really needs help. my other son let it slip to her bestfriend that she was pregnant. she found out and cried for 2 hrs. she then went into a rage over the slip. i asked the father to be why was she so upset about it she should be happy and confident and that they were going to find out anyway. he and Tina just say cause her mom is a *****. they got the first sonagram the other day and the day after dear ole mom called to say they had a VCR for her to borrow and asked me if she had went to her doc appointment. i was stunned at her words and how casual she said it. why would Tina lie about her mom knowing the situation. Tina came in from work and i told her, her mom called and told her she asked about her appointment just to see her reaction and she disn't say a word. heres another tid bit. her mom has been lying to the government in order to get medicaid and food stamps. they did not report the fact Tina has moved out or something because she is still getting medicaid. Tina and my son are both working and i tried to tell them both that the medicaid would prb get cut out because of their income. Tina says "oh no they won't cause blah blah blah" and you can't tell her anything. whats going on here?
am i being used or do you think my son is fixing to get the shaft, because when the baby gets here she can get a lot of help...apartment, food stamps, child support.
don't get me wrong i am happy about the baby but i smell a little rat. i wonder if she is telling me one thing and her mom another. should i talk to the mom and break her trust. think about it she is living here free and we have paid insurance etc... to help her out. she is sweet but she has another side too her that is pretty calculating. what do you think?
2006-08-18 12:29:14 · 6 answers · asked by Enigma 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
what does she have to gain by lying
2006-08-18 12:42:03 · update #1
I think you've got a mess on your hands. You have opened your heart and your home to this woman and yet you still fear the worst because of others in her life. Sounds like you and your son are the one stable point in Tina's whirlwind life. Keep loving her. Don't try to plan for the future maybes; deal with the day to day. Should your fears be realized, you'll have a good relationship in order to help them through what might happen. Bless you.
2006-08-18 12:46:03 · answer #1 · answered by CHos3n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Tina has a lot of problems and has now just compounded them by getting pregnant. There must have been a reason why the aunt threw her out. Perhaps Tina does not like rules, or did not want to work to help support herself. Perhaps her aunt disapproved of her lifestyle. Whatever the cause, the aunt had had enough. The same could be true for the mom. True she might be everything Tina said, but more than likely, they just did not get along. Regardless, what kind of daughter calls her own mother a *******. And now it is your turn to take these problems on. When things don't go Tina's way, what words will you be called?
I think the best thing you can do for the both of them, before the heated arguments, is to show them or take them or her to the appropriate agencies where they/she may be able to get help with their situation. I would definitely suggest a different housing arrangement. If your son is the father then he must decide to go with her or not.
2006-08-18 13:43:28 · answer #2 · answered by Tweek 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your son (the father) privately, and tell him that while you love him and the grandchild to come, the living situation needs to change, because you need your privacy, and you're sure they also want theirs. If they are both working they should be able to afford their own apartment. Give them a deadline by which to find an apartment and move out. But always let your son know that you're on his side and if he ever needs anything he can come to you.
2006-08-18 12:44:54 · answer #3 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Damn, that's a mouthful.... the chick is obviously lying, I say tell her mom what you know and don't worry about it anymore. They're adults now, let them deal with the problem. Support from a distance
2006-08-18 12:38:58 · answer #4 · answered by brandon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is sneeky and your son knows more than he is willing to tell you.If they are both working and planning on this baby why do they have to live with his parents?Make them pay rent,even if you don't need it,then put it aside till one day when they need something for your grandbaby.Do they save alot of their $$ or blow it on going out and clothes.They are both users and you are enabling them to do so.Cut the strings mama.If your son is about to have a kid of his own its time for him to stop being one.
2006-08-18 12:49:18 · answer #5 · answered by Raevens'Honey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW how long did it take you to write this??? anyhow
she is prb lying i wouldnt want her living w/ me if i was u
2006-08-18 12:37:26 · answer #6 · answered by aSh_=) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋