How do I stop my mom from drinking?

Question

Ok, my mom tends to drink occasionally on her days off. I wouldn't mind except so far she's downed eight beers in roughly five hours and there's no sign of stopping.

She drinks her self into a angry stupor, will start to cry, she accuses my siblings and I of hating and not appreciating her, and she calls all her friends and loudly complains about how terrible we are to her. I really love my mom and I don't take advantage of her like she says (I do laundry, clean around the house, take care of our pets, and look after my younger siblings when she's working, I even give her money I get from babysitting and cleaning a church when she's short).

I try to talk to her but she'll say that she's 49 years old and on her day off is entitled to relax how she wants and I need to get off her case and stop telling her what to do. She has a point but I want to spend time with her, not hide in my room from her! What can I do?

I'm 16, by the way.

Answer 1

I know how you fill almost way to much! My dad used to have a really bad problem with drinking and it was to the point he would yell and scream at us kids and get mad at everyone around him. One day I waited up all night and sat down with him and told him how much it was hurting me to watch him end up like that I asked what he would do if I was doing the same. By the end of the conversation I looked at him and said daddy I love you and want you in my life and need you the most right now, we all need you...Dad you have my heart, please dont break it. He cried after are talk and so did I but the next morning I woke up to my dad throwing out all the achool!!! I really hope the best for you and remember there are challenges in life and everything happends for a reason keep your eye on the goal and dont let anyone tell you otherwise! Be there for your mom and good luck!

Answer 2

Sounds like a tough situation, but I am thinking there isn't much you can do. She doesn't sound mature enough or self-aware enough to realize what she is really like. She has some mental issues that aren't going to go away unless she takes control of them, and that has to be something she decides for herself.

My mother does not drink, but she is bi-polar and doesn't stay on her medications. When her neurological system is out of whack, she isn't seeing things in a realistic view, and no amount of talking to her on my part makes any difference. It just makes her mad or hurt, and our relationships suffers even more. Your mom defintely sounds like she has some sort of mental disorder, and often people suffering from one turn to drugs or alcohol to help self-medicate.

You could try something kind of radical if you have to force the issue. The next time she starts drinking, grab a few beers and tell her you are going to drink with her. Tell her you worked hard all week at school, and that you deserve to relax on your day off. It will probably start a fight, but it might shock her into seeing what sort of a role model she is being for you.

You might be able to find some support at the Al-Anon/Alateen website. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html. They are a group created to help people who are dealing with alcoholic family members. Maybe just talking to others who are experiencing what you are will help.

You sound like a great daughter, and remember that though it is hard, you are learning valuable lesson about what NOT to do as a mother, and someday your daughter will thank you for it!

Answer 3

First I'm sorry you are going through what I went through, except my mother died at 49yrs. from drinking.. I started on my mother when I was 14yrs. There will be nothing you can do, except get her to realize she doesn't need alcohol to live a normal life.. There is life afterwards.. Tell her when shes sober, don't preach, because she will let you know quickly your a child/young, that doesn't know about life. This isn't your fault.. Alcohol will eventually take over her personality if it hasn't already.. Plan something atleast one day that's shes off, to leave and do something together.. Divert her away from the lonely situations. Get support. Go ,to alanon local meeting, there free.. THey will help you cope with your mothers problems,they are teenagers just like you that are living in similar situations. Bounce ideas off of them. I go to AA, and it has been a God send.. Wow there are others like me. Otherwise if you see it your whole life little do you know, you may become her.. not intentionally.. Email me if you need to talk. Been there done that. I'm 29 with 3 kids now.. later

Answer 4

Sounds like she needs an intervention, maybe from some of those friends she calls to complain to, they are probably tired of hearing her talk as well. She does need help though. People are entitled to relax on days off but I don't see how getting drunk and going on an emotional rant is relaxing.

Maybe you can record her next time and show it her when she sobers up.

Answer 5

You're such a responsible child and it's horrible to know that your mom isn't being a great parent to you and your sibs.

Please go see your school counselor. She might be able to give you resources on how to take your mom to rehab. Also, you might want to call a rehab center and let them know what you're going through, so they can give you advice on how to deal with your problem, and even be able to intervene so that your mother will be forced to go to one of their programs.

If she tries to drive drunk or hurts you in any way, call the police. Addictions are hard to break away from, and right now, your mom loves her alcohol more than herself or you guys. I think you should stop giving her money if all she does is spend it on beer.

Good luck and be strong.

Answer 6

Call social services they can put you in touch with programs in your area. Good Luck sweetie. I have been in your shoes and know what a hard life you have. however if you do not take control of the siuation now it will only get worse. Also think of your siblings you can get out in a few years but then how bad will it be for them. Take care and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Answer 7

u cant really make her stop drinking she needs to release that she has a serious problem and that she need to get profession help. talk to her let her know how she makes u feel let her know that u need her sober and that u love her. tell her that u will be proud of her and that u will help her get her life together but the only way she can do that is if she goes into rehab

Answer 8

Good for you for looking for solutions to a real problem. You said that you have tried talking to her. Was she sober when you were talking to her? Make sure of that.

Also, you should talk to an a close adult friend about this. Maybe your pastor (if you have one), a teacher, school counselor, or one of your friend's parents (a responsible one).

You and your siblings deserve help, so you should get it.

Answer 9

Sweetie, my heart goes out to you. Your Mother is going through P.M.S - which could take several years to get through. Your doing what you can as a (good) daughter, don't do as she does, do better. Keep alert, be patience, she'll either wake up,to deal with family or she'll fall harder. Ultimately, the choice is her's.

Answer 10

You can't. She'll stop when she realizes she has a problem. Get some booklets and leave them around. Maybe she'll read them and go to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). Meanwhile prepare to leave home when you turn 18.