My fiance and I know we are soulmates, but she has 2 beagles that are in the house, climb onto the sofas, etc. I by no means hate dogs, but I am grossed out their hair everywhere. The fact that they do not wipe their buts, or wipe their feet when they go outside, and then want to sit in your lap, or on the couch next to you, and lick you. Plus, their odor is offensive to me. Even when I stay away, when my fiance plays w/ them it grosses me out to touch her or have her touch me. The sad thing is she sees these pets as more than animals, as her own children. I moved in and 5 months later, I am actually more repulsed than before. I have not been able to get used to them. Someone please shed some light as we are both miserable about this and do not want to lose each other over this.
2006-08-18 10:58:49 · 16 answers · asked by caleb l 1 in Pets ➔ Dogs
That is a major difference in values.. You can't really be soul-mates with such a difference..it will never work..One of you will forever resent the other over this issue..and it can't be resolved..You gave it a good try, and, as a dog lover, I know she won't be happy without her dogs..so no matter who wins on the issue, it will always be a wedge between you...Sound relationships are hard enough to keep healthy, without adding this sticky widget in the pudding.
2006-08-18 11:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by Chetco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the two of you should go your separate ways. My husband, was never an "animal lover". But I bring in 2 dogs and a cat. Then 2 more dogs, and another cat. He's ok with them most of the time, and he helps take care of them (letting them out, feeding them, playing with them). He's opened up to them a lot. I told him from the beginning -- "you'll go before they go".
Like I said, he does good with them, but you seem to not really want them around you. And that's ok. But, I don't feel that you will ever completely accept them in your house -- again, that's ok too. And I am sure that you would never harm them. But animal lovers love their animals and you cannot and will not ever be able to change that.
There's times when he doesn't want them on the couch with him...sometimes, I feel that way too. Sometimes I just want to be left alone, and that's just human nature.
I wouldn't call him an animal lover, but every night when I come home, there's usually one of the dogs curled up next to him, sleeping.
Though I have promised not to bring any more animals into the house. Instead of trying to save them all, I donate money the local shelter.
2006-08-18 21:05:10 · answer #2 · answered by kaschweigert 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, I doubt you two will live happily ever after unless you can totaly and uncondtionaly except the dogs.
You can however offer to help bathe them
Take them to obed classes (so yuou can teach them down-off the couch etc)
Unfortinitly you are not soul mates. Her soul mate will not be discugested by dogs and people who love them. And your sould mate will not have pets that discust you.
Sorry, better to face the facts now. One thing I am very pround to read that your not saying anything about getting rid of them. That does show your a good man, a good human and have a good heart. I am sorry that this wont work for you both.
2006-08-18 11:06:32 · answer #3 · answered by cm30324 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe this relationship can ever work. Her dogs are part of her family, a huge part of her life. You have a major phobia about dogs that you're not going to change.
You certainly can't expect a dog lover to live without dogs for the rest of her life. By the way, how can you be soul mates when you are grossed out about something this important to her. This is a major deal breaker as if you succeed in getting her to give up her dogs, she will resent you.
2006-08-18 11:37:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to tell you, but you might be better off as friends and not living together or ever married. My ex-fiance and I used to fight over the dogs. I like my dogs sleeping in the bed with me. When he moved in, he wanted the dogs to sleep two floors away in the basement. I could hear them crying and scratching at the door and could never sleep. I felt guilty. So then he let one of them come up into the bedroom but not the other. He didn't like the other dog at all. One day, the one he didn't like ran under our bed and wouldn't come out. My ex got SOOOO mad at the dog that he started poking him with a broom under the bed!! I threw him and his things -- literally -- out of my house and gave him the ring back. We're not even friends now.
My current fiance LOVES my dogs. He walks them, feeds them, bathes them and helps train them. And the way he treats my dogs is also how he treats me. I fell in love with him and we've been together a year and a half... together as a family with the doggies!
Good luck to you.
2006-08-18 11:14:24 · answer #5 · answered by missingpersons@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tuff one.......I once knew a guy that had a dog and I actually (we) actually fought over this animal. The damn thing was 1000 years old, could no longer see and would run into walls, it was F'king ugly as hell, with bumps all over like tumors, it could not smell....and he would have to take it outside and push on the sides to have it pee or poop........I was REPULSED by it to say the least...
I kindly suggested that the dog was no longer a dog but just a thing" that was in misery and that it would be kinder to put it to sleep...We broke up over this mind you...(Which for me - WAS OK........cause, I really didn't see a future for us anyway)
When people love pets like family - you cant win......
I'm glad you love your women....
(how about claiming you have BAD BAD allergies) and you have to move out or something?
2006-08-18 11:11:25 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, there is no middle ground here. Either she gets rid of the dogs, which will make her unhappy (BTW, I would NEVER do that to my dogs over a man, sorry) or you get over it, which isn't happening either. So, I just don't see how this can be worked out.
Find someone that doesn't love dogs so that your girl can find someone that does. Everyone will be happier. And with such a huge issue how can you be soulmates. That doesn't even make sense.
2006-08-18 11:09:27 · answer #7 · answered by momma dog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even think about marrying her if you can't change your attitude about her dogs. She will treat her dogs like her children. If you don't like her children and she ultimately has to decide between them or you, she will almost certainly choose them over you. If you try to put up with the dogs, eventually your frustration and resentment will boil over - there will be an incident that will cause a significant rift between the two of you and your relationship will be in jeopardy. It may seem like a small thing to some, but a difference of opinion about dogs to the extent you describe is the kiss of death to a relationship like yours.
2006-08-18 11:07:24 · answer #8 · answered by Perplexed Music Lover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It definately can pose a problem. I love dogs, and so does my husband...but he has a dog he raised previously before we married. I cannot stand that dog....yipes, yips, snaps at your heals (a ***** I call her). He senses my not liking her, and at times throws it in my face, so I pretend to "like" the stupid dog. I wish it would run away, but that never seems happen either! My advise to you is to confront your fiance' if you have not already. Being a dog love as I am, if I know her....she is deeply attached, and to understand that kind of love is hard when you are not a dog lover yourself. Good luck, don't know if I've helped any.
2006-08-18 11:31:45 · answer #9 · answered by LARGE MARGE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something very hard. You need exept the dogs and not get grossed out by them. Remember she is very close to those dogs so if she would find them a new home she will be very sadend.
Maby you should try talking to a phykitist (me and my bad spelling) if you realy don't want to leave her.
2006-08-18 11:26:39 · answer #10 · answered by Justsomegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋