I'm so ticked off.I wanna take a hammer to my computer,tie my kids up and shove them in a closet.(never would but it would be alot more peaceful around here)
2006-08-18 10:57:05 · 7 answers · asked by L.T. 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
come on you guys,I'm WAY more ticked than that.No direspect, but I'm frustrated enough to tell the Pope to take a flying leap.
p.s.- alcohol anyone?
2006-08-18 11:19:37 · update #1
I filled my inflatable doll with helium, so she'd play hard to get for me.
2006-08-18 11:36:05 · answer #1 · answered by spackler 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just saw this on a little while ago -- bout fell off my chair laughing.
I am having a crappy day tooooo.
don't touch my daughter
------------------------------...
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
2006-08-18 18:08:27 · answer #2 · answered by GP 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sinderella walked into disneyland searched for pinocchio. When she found him she knocked him to the ground, dropped her knickers then sat on pinocchios face and screamed lie u bastasrd lie. It is one of the few times that a man has been encouraged to lie by a woman!!!!!
2006-08-18 18:19:18 · answer #3 · answered by stormy_sinderella 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Now what would be really funny would be to actually see that happen and no recourse for the actions....kids do drive you crazy after awhile when they are on your nerves.LL
2006-08-19 06:56:34 · answer #4 · answered by italliansweety67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay...a blonde joke (coming from a FORMER blonde!)
A blonde noticed her house was on fire...She called the fire department frantic..."my house is on fire...my house is on fire!!" The dispatcher says "mame calm down...can you tell me where it is" The blonde screams.."MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE"...the dispatcher says..." mame~ how do we get there?" The blonde says..."big red truck...duh?!"
2006-08-18 18:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is just a joke not ment 2 be 2 u here it goes!
YO MAMA SO FAT WHEN SHE BACK UP ALL U HERE IS BEEP BEEP BEEP
2006-08-18 18:02:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
How do you catch a "unique" rabbit? "U nique" up on it !
How do you catch a "tame" rabbit? "Tame Way!"
2006-08-18 18:14:32 · answer #7 · answered by TJ R 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋