Does this mean that I don't like him or that I'm not wanting to get married? Aren't you supposed to feel excited to plan a wedding? All I feel is dread. Like I'm closing a book on my life. That once I tie the knot that's it for me and my dreams. Is this something everyone goes through? Or am I crazy for letting others tell me how I'm supposed to feel?
2006-08-18 10:04:16 · 19 answers · asked by aheikens 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Your not ready to get married, and take that step in your life, I suggest, find yourself first, and than get married.
Marriage is not a dress where you can buy and return. Its a life time commitment. Marriage is a sacrad bond between two people and not many people understand what marriage is.
And it seems to me like you are having second thoughts about your marriage.
Why do you feel that its going to be the end of your dreams?
Its going to be the beginning of your dreams!
The beginning of your brand new life, a new chapter in your life.
You should be very excited that your getting married, and if your not, than there is something that you need to deal with first, before you take that commitment forward in your life.
GooD luCk to You!
2006-08-18 10:09:29 · answer #1 · answered by Happily Married 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If you've done all the planning you could be tired. Being exhausted can cause you not to see things clearly.
You may be closing a chapter on your life but look at the chapters that are waiting to be written!
Why do you believe marriage will be the end of your dreams? Have you not discussed this with your beloved? Are you not planning a future together.....or did you just discuss his dreams?
If it is indeed dread that you're feeling, call off the wedding. Maybe you're just a little nervous at the finality of marraige. Maybe then, this isn't the guy. Or maybe you just got caught up with the idea of a wedding and wasn't really aware what a marriage really is. Maybe you just aren't ready.
Look inside, what does your heart say? Work from that.
2006-08-18 10:43:14 · answer #2 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is hard to say why you are not excited about the wedding. Is it the marriage or the wedding you are not excited about? If it is the wedding, too many other people may be telling you what you should do to plan your wedding. If it is the marriage you aren't that excited about, run sweetie. I wish I had. The embarrassment of canceling the wedding would have been a lot easier on me than the marriage.
Good luck to you. Don't worry, follow your heart and you will know what to do.
2006-08-21 21:14:31 · answer #3 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations!! I can't wait either!! Well, just be happy that you only have 3 months to go! I still have about 11 months! I feel like its so far away, I've been praying that these next 11 months will go by really fast! I'm sure as it gets closer you will be keeping busy with the wedding plans...just be excited & don't let yourself get too stressed out. Enjoy this time as an engaged couple & set aside time to spend together that doesn't involve planning the wedding. Schedule date nights with your fiance & some girls nights with your closest girlfriends before the big day. Good luck with everything!
2016-03-16 23:44:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel like it's the end of your dreams?
You are crazy for letting others tell you how you're supposed to feel. You can only be honest with your feelings.
If you aren't ready for marriage, then don't do it. Marriage is hard. Marriage takes work. And it takes commitment.
Have you spoken with your fiance? And it may not hurt to go to a counselling session as well.
You really need to be honest with your fiance and yourself. You need to look at how you feel and look at WHY you feel like that.
Don't let other people tell you how and when to feel an emotion. It's up to you.
2006-08-18 10:11:11 · answer #5 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I'm in the same exact position. But I'm like a roller-coaster. One second I'm in love and the next I feel like heading for the hills.
Fortunately, once the fog lifts, I remember that I've been with my man for so long, for a reason. And although I can never be certain of my future with ANYTHING, that right now, in this very moment, it's the best decision in my life.
Try not to think of it as a death sentence. You may be closing a CHAPTER, but think of how wonderful and full your next chapter(s) are going to be.
Good luck!
2006-08-18 11:38:12 · answer #6 · answered by ceesvamp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone should tell you if you are ready or not. But I will tell you that my first marriage I did not feel the excitement that I should have. I was young to be getting married (20). It did not work out. My second marriage on the otherhand was completely different. I was excited. So happy to be planning and marrying my current husband. I was 29.
I think back and don't remember being able to see myself with my first husband when we were old. I tried to invision this in my head but the thoughts were not realistic. There was a lot of infidelity in my first marriage on both parts. It was a horrible marriage but I did have my two wonderful children from it.
Now with my second husband I can invision growing old with him. The little thoughts of us sitting in out rocking chairs when we are old are comforting. I know he is the man I have always wanted to be with.
My suggestion is to talk to him. Think about your choices prior to the commitment. If necessary seek counseling. It is the only right thing to do for both of you. If you really d not love him or want to spend the rest of your life with him you need to find out prior to the wedding. You need to do this for both of you, it is only fair.
2006-08-20 06:35:33 · answer #7 · answered by lakebridals 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never feel like getting married is stealing you from fulfilling your dreams. You should think of it as now you have someone to fulfill your dreams with. I dreaded the process of planning a wedding - I was all for eloping! But now that most of it is planned (2 months to go) I'm more relaxed and looking forward to it. I still would have rather eloped! Think of all the money it would have save my parents and my fiance. Anyway... as long as your fiance encourages you to fulfill your dreams what's the problem?
2006-08-18 10:21:51 · answer #8 · answered by serndip80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably because your doing what family and society expect of you. it takes a lot to stand up and say "i want to control my own life" The last thing you need to happen is to be railroaded into getting married, because once you say i do and if it all goes pear shaped its a night mare to undo it.
people ask "how will i know when i meet the right person" and the answer is "You'll Know"
Here's something to think about. Most people go through there whole life and never experience love!
2006-08-18 14:59:59 · answer #9 · answered by Bob Bob 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, you could be mistaking your nervous feelings with doubt. on the other hand, are you sure you love this guy. i am not trying to creash a wedding here, i am just saying, that marrying a guy you like and not love can be very complicating. please make the right choice, if this guy really loves you, then take the chance and marry him, you have nothing to lose but lots to gain. just forget doubt and think happy thoughts, like, "how good my wedding dress is going to look on me" get it. what other people say they feel doesn't have to be the same. we are all different and others who say they feel the same are just copying others. its good that you stand out. good luck on your wedding and have faith that your fiance will love you until death do you part. god bless you!
2006-08-18 10:26:24 · answer #10 · answered by PASSION 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋