what should i do?

Question

my boyfriend and i stay together with his family. we've been together for a while and his parents don't approve of us wanting to get married. its to the point were we want to just take off and get married, but i dont want to do it without his mother and fathers blessing

my boyfriend and i stay with his parents and we are planning on getting married, but his parents dont quite approve of it yet. i moved in because he needed help taking care of his parents finanically and to help around the house with anything that needs to be done to relieve the stress from his parents. His parents are nice and understanding about things, but when it comes to marriage its different. i've tryed talking to them about that situation but i dont ever seem to get anything out. i dont want to move out because his parents are going to be stuck with a lot of responsiblity and i just want to help them in any way i can

Answer 1

I would sit down like adults and talk to his parents - explain your desire to be married and why you think now is the best time, be open minded to their suggestions and reasons for you to wait. My only question would be if you are staying with his parents are you sure you are ready to get married? Maybe they would like to see you two stand on your own for a bit first?

Answer 2

I all likelyhood, you aren't ready. I don't know any of the intimate details so I cannot be sure. How long you have been together, how old you are now, future prospects, goals and outlooks. These are all very important with this sort of question. Life can change at the drop of a hat. There will always be time to get married, where's the rush? What will it accomplish for you? Does it satisfy a selfish need or is it in the best interest of all parties? Try to live you life without regrets by considering your every "next" move with clarity and thought.

Answer 3

How long have you been together?

You can have a committed relationship and not get married right away.

My wife and I were together 7 years before we were married, and now we've been married for 5 years.

Find out if you're REALLY compatible with one another before you make the committment. If you do want/need parental approval, why not show that you are committed to one another and that after a few years they'll come around.

Good luck.

Answer 4

What if they never give their blessing? You are correct in trying to gain your future inlaws support; however, you need to decide at what point it is unlikely that they will come around.
Family harmony is great; but sometimes one cannot have it and one needs to accept that fact.
What are their objections? Is there anything you can do to change their minds? At some point you might try asking them directly. If you can, for example, delay the wedding 6 months and gain their approval, do it (that's easy and worth family harmony. If theier conditions or wants are very unreasonable, tell them that you are getting married and that you would love to have them in your live, so it is up to them.

You do not give a lot of details; so, my response is very general.
Good Luck

Answer 5

Marriage is such a big step, you really have to know what your doing. I ignored my ex's parents and went ahead and married her because we were so in love and so close, I just couldn't imagine living without her, but a year later we were divorced and I have regretted that decision ever since. In retrospect I wouldn't get married until I had spent years with a person and was way past the euphoria of new love.

Answer 6

There has to be a reason that his parents don't want you two to be married. So talk to them. It's still your life and your choice but I assume that his parents had more marriage life than you and sees a future problem. I assume they went though something similar so they may understand your point too. So just talk with them.

Answer 7

I'M KIND OF CONFUSED...WHY WOULD HIS PARENTS LET YOU ALL LIVE IN THEIR HOUSE, BUT THEN WHEN YOU TRY TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT BY TYING THE KNOT, THEY DON'T CONDONE IT? THAT SEEMS KIND OF BACKWARDS. ANOTHER THING, IF YOU BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE IF THEY DON'T GIVE YOU THEIR BLESSINGS...YOU'RE MOVING OUT ANYWAY AFTER YOU GET MARRIED RIGHT? IT WOULD DEFINITELY BE NICE IF THEY APPROVED, BUT LISTEN, YOU CAN'T MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY. SOUNDS TO ME LIKE IF YOU WEREN'T LIVING WITH THEM THEN THEY WOULDN'T BE SO OPINIONATED...BUT WHO KNOWS. I SAY AS LONG AS YOU LOVE HIM AND HE LOVES YOU, GET YOUR OWN PLACE TOGETHER, MARRY HIM, AND BECOME CINDERELLA! YOU'RE WASTING TIME, DON'T WAIT UNTIL MIDNIGHT AFTER WHO'VE LOST YOUR GLASS SLIPPER, THE HORSES HAVE TURNED BACK INTO RATS...OR WERE THEY MICE...WHATEVER, AND THEN YOU'RE RIDING ON A PUMPKIN RATHER THAN A CARRIAGE! (SMILE) THE POINT IS, LIVE LIFE, YOU ONLY HAVE ONE AND THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN IS TO NOT LIVE AND END UP THINKING "WHAT IF" FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. GOOD LUCK...

Answer 8

You don't always get what you want, nobody does. If the two of you want to get married it's about your commitment to one another, nobody else's. But might I suggest you move out of his parents house first. If you can't even get your own place the last thing you should do is get married.

Answer 9

get married n they will approve later , they always do this at first but then when u will have children n be their boy's wife , they will Love u , n if u want my advice try to show them how much u love their son , how much u care , abt him n them too . be nice to them , ask his mother if she needs help , ask her to do anything for her , n then they will accept u
get married , now if u can .

Answer 10

Look, you either get married, or do what his parents say, and split up. Either way, I suggest you move out of their house first, and develop a backbone.