i'm starting to get really worried about my mum. I'm a teenager and there are a lot of arguments in my house as i have an older brother and sister. my mum is getting really depressed and down because she can't cope with the arguments and she keeps saying how she doesn't want to live here anymore and how sometimes she just doesn't want to be with my dad anymore. And this is making me upset because i don't want my parents to split up or anything and i hate seeing her upset. . i really don't know what to do.. please help me!
2006-08-18 09:29:44 · 11 answers · asked by rachylou_x 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
sorry, my parents don't discuss their issues in front of us. from what i know, they don't discuss them at all. my dad is quite old fashioned and doesn't really believe in doing things like that.. i don't really know how to explain it...
2006-08-18 09:37:22 · update #1
Tell your mother and father how concerned you are. Talk to them together or separately, whichever you think best. Ask them to consider some counseling. If they decide not to do this, seek counseling yourself at school.
2006-08-18 09:36:41 · answer #1 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mum how you feel. Offer to be not just her daughter but her friend. Offer a listening ear to her feelings. You may not be able to control the actions of your older siblings, but perhaps you could encourage your mum to spend some time on her own or with her girlfriends. Encourage her to do things she is passionate about. Maybe getting some space and a little breather will help her cope with the family stressess. Family counseling may be good as well as community with a church. You may want to get your parents the book, "The Four Love Languages" I think it is a must for any married couple. And with your siblings,remember, you get more with honey than with vinegar (at least I think that is how the saying goes)
2006-08-18 09:39:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, there probably isn't anything you can do. Remember, you are NOT responsible for fixing your family's problems. Children of divorce often feel that if they had just done this or not done that, their parents would have stayed together - not true. So the first thing to do is absolve yourself from resonsibility for the actions of your siblings and parents - you can only be responsible for own.
Second, it sounds as though your mother is very immature. As the adult, she should have the perspective to understand the developmental stage your siblings are at, and to deal with their arguing. Making statements about not wanting to live there any more is simply an immature way of disassociating herself from the problem instead of dealing with it. She is also acting immaturely by discussing her marriage with her children (saying she doesn't want to be with your dad any more). There is nothing you can do to change her (people never change) but with the knowledge that her behavior is not appropriate, perhaps you will be better equipped to cope with it and to live your life for you, being the best person you can be, instead of feeling responsible for other people's actions.
2006-08-18 09:40:04 · answer #3 · answered by auskan2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I understand that you feel terrible for what is happening, but it is not your fault. Your parents have issues to work out. Have you tried telling your parents that their behaviour is affecting you. Sometimes they forget that the kids are around and that they sense something is wrong. If however your mom does decide to leave, she 's not leaving you and your siblings. She will always remain your mother. If your mother is really that sad, maybe it would be better off that way. If she would be better off on her own and happier that way, there wouldn't be as much tension in the family and everyone will get along better in the end.
2006-08-18 09:44:26 · answer #4 · answered by Dragonfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You parents really should be discussing their own issues in private. But it does seem as though the entire family could be aided by some family counseling.
2006-08-18 09:36:48 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family needs some counselling. And tell your parents that they should be discussing their issues in private.
2006-08-18 09:34:47 · answer #6 · answered by Kayt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really isn't much you can do about this situation, unfortunately. You cannot control the behavior of your other family members.
I say show your mother your support, by doing what she asks of you and loving her the way she needs to be loved by you as her child. This may keep her reminded of the love required to keep the family together.
The best to you and your family.
2006-08-18 09:39:38 · answer #7 · answered by NGE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you have to understand that sometimes this don`t work out between parents so they have to split. And if your parents do split you have to understand that that`s the best for you mom. well hope your problem gets solved.
2006-08-18 09:42:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could get your brother and sister together and sit your folks down and try to explain to them that y'all are feeling the effects of their problems and try to see if they will get counseling
2006-08-18 09:50:08 · answer #9 · answered by daddy's girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that sucks..my mom did the same thing..not to bum you down or anything..but my mom did leave us. but in your case i dont think she will..she just needs some help..i dono maybe some anti depressants
2006-08-18 09:34:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋