Me and this girl have been best friends for ages. We have traveled the world to see eachother and always have a great time together. We go to the movies. We do everything together. Her Parents love me. I have made every effort known to hummanity. If we were older I would ask her to marry me!! Let me add that we r both 18. I want to be able to support her before I decide to marry her She has had several crushes and the occasional bf but none last. I love her more than anything in the world but she doesn't seem to notice. She says she loves me as a brother but I cant live with that. When I'm with her there is nothing more wonderful. I rather endure anythng then have her suffer 4 1 sc. Im tired of being the friend. I make her laugh, smile, cry etc... but she never lets me in her heart. This girl is the joy of my life but to her i am only a "friend". I've tried telling her but to no avail. Am i selfish to want more? What can i do? Am i being used? Any advice would help.
2006-08-18 09:19:59 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all...
in which case it's time to do something... Tell her you need to find someone who you can do all tis stuff with and also be lovers. If she loves you, she'll soon find out when you're not around. If she doesn't, then you find someone who does
2006-08-18 09:26:39 · answer #1 · answered by corwinnn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you truly love this young woman. It would also seem to be true that she is either aware of this, and over looking it, or is completely ignorant of the situation. Many times, love is right in front of you but you can't see it. If this young lady can see that you love her and she is just over-looking it, it is becuase she is afraid of feeling the same way about you. If this is the case, then she will come around eventually. However, if she is completely ignorant of the love that is sitting right in front of her, then give her time. You can't rush these things, although it does sound like you have given it a lot of time already. You need to continue giving her time. One day she will either A. realize that she truly loves you as well, or B. realize that you have beed loving her all along. If either of these occur, then the chances are that if you continue to stick around as the 'friend' with hidden love, then she could very well end up staying with you forever. It all depends on how long you are willing to wait around for her. It seems that this young woman is looking for love in all the wrong places, especially if her relationships aren't working out. Just remember to keep her close, as a friend... don't bring her in any closer then she is comfortable with, that will only scare her away. Also, don't show her all of the love you have for her all at once. Let it show slowly... so that she can become more comfortable with the idea. When she starts new a relationship, don't become offended or hurt, just keep in mind that you love her, and that one day she will see that. Respect her, the relationships she has, and the young men she has them with. Most importantly, when these relationships start, mature, and end, show her that you are still there for her ever step of the way! This will show her that you care for her... perhaps a little bit more then a brother would. This will help to start opening her eyes to the true love you have for her, and long to share. Best of luck!
~God bless
2006-08-18 09:43:12 · answer #2 · answered by Girl 4 God 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off let me say that you are extremely mature for your age. I cannot, nor anyone else on the computer say what she wants or if she is using you. If we did...it would only be a line of BS. I know you said you told her...but sometimes women look to see if the grass is greener on the other side. There is not much you can do to change that. She is at a young and indecisive age.
I can say send her flowers, write her poems, give her cards. Or I could say wine and dine her. But you are the only true person who knows what she loves and works for her. I do not think you are selfish for wanting more. But respect the way she looks at your relationship. You would hate to lose her as a friend.
The only thing I can say is...no matter how much you love her, you can't maker her love you back. But if make her laugh, maker her smile, and make her enjoy life...just keep on doing what you are doing. If she doesn't fall in love with you for who you are...better luck next time.
I know this sounds kind of harsh...but it's life. When you are older you will see.
2006-08-18 09:31:53 · answer #3 · answered by Becky 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not selfish to want more, but you could be barking up a tree of serious pain. She seems to have made it quite clear that she has no romantic interest in you. You say you have told her how you feel and she does not reciprocate. Maybe you should back off a bit and see what happens. Live your life, date, whatever, but don't waste anymore time waiting on someone who doesn't even show you an inkling of the interest that you long for. Maybe she needs time to sort out what she wants, and that could be you, but before either of you settle down, you need to sew your oats. You are both very young. So go, be young, be free and hope that in the end, you get the girl of your dreams, for all you know, she isn't even it.
2006-08-18 09:28:43 · answer #4 · answered by Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like a plutonic (friendship only) relationship, which is not to say that you do not have a chance.
1. Be careful. You don't want to lose a friendship like this one.
2. you have to respect the fact that she MIGHT not be physically attracted to you. That may be a huge boundary.
3. Don't think about marriage at this point that is crazy. You have to get the girl first.
4. Be prepared for rejection. she might not be willing to move forward in the relationship. How would that make you feel? How would this affect your friendship?
5. good luck be careful
2006-08-18 09:27:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion, your too available, she is too sure of you, let her feel the feeling of not having you there, for example, you acting interested in someone else, a new girlfriend or someone to take up your time a little, I know it seems like a game, but people always want what they don't have and you will see then if there is a chance with her in that respect....It might take something like that to make her see how she feels about you.... try it... what do you have to lose?!!!!
2006-08-18 09:46:10 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both young..she is right to take things slow. You dont know what the future holds for both of you. You dont want to force something to happen that will happen it's own time...you should go to school and get an education and then you can think about supporting her. Have some PATIENCE. Nothing worth having comes easy.
2006-08-18 09:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're a very lucky person except for one small thing..... she told you what the parameters are and you don't want to accept that. I know you are entitled to your feelings, but don't forget she as hers too. Accept her friendship, it's a blessing. Then with that in mind be open to the person who may love you in the way you desire, and be able to keep this girl's friendship. Wish I could say you can have your cake and eat it too but it doesn't look good. Best of luck!
2006-08-18 09:31:26 · answer #8 · answered by ron k 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okk, if she sais that she only sees you as a brother, than you can change that, or not.
You have to make her see that you will do anything for her. You will always be there for her.
But dont do anything fishy to chase her away. You dont want to lose your friendship.
Try asking her to the movies, go out with her, go to dinner, go ice skating, go to the park. That will give her a little hint.
Flirt with her, not too much so you would scare her, but like be friendly flirty.
When she has like hair in her mouth or something, very nicely just caress her hair, and move whatever is in the way.
When you pick her up for like, lets say dinner, have a single red rose for her. Dress really nice. Nice cologne. And be a gentleman. That will give her more hints.
But if she ever feels uncomfortable with your relationship, than you really cant do much about that.
But you have to look at it this way too, if you guys start dating for a while, than it will be really hard for you guys to stay friends. So you have to look at that also.
She might not want to start a real relationship with you, becuz that might permanatly tear your frienship apart. And she might not want to risk that. She loves you as a friend you said, and she might not want that to change, so she wont lose your frienship.
But if it doesnt work out, than that is ok, becuz youve grown up with her all your life, and maybe you feeel that shes the one becuz you havnt given yourself a chance to get to know other girls. Dont try to push her in anyway for more than friendship, you would later regret losing your freinship.
So dont be too sad if things dont work out, betweeen you and your friend. Everything will be fine.
If you truly love her, than you would want her to be happy, even if that means not being with her.
Good Luck to you!
2006-08-18 09:27:54 · answer #9 · answered by Happily Married 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trust me, she probably feels the same way about you. She only says you are like a brother to validate the closeness between the two of you. She still wants to be close but is afraid to scare you off, so she acts like she only see's u as family. Go for it
2006-08-18 09:27:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋