Im an Atheist guy and I like a Christian girl. help.?

Question

ok, im 17, and i really like this girl, shes what i want, dont need to elaborate. the beef is shes christian and im an atheist. i dont see this as a problem to myself, i love to debate impartially, and refuse to judge people based on things like religion. the question here is: christian girls, do you usually have a problem (or would you) dating an atheist. also, christian parents, would you have a problem with it? i would appreciate any opinion.

Answer 1

Well, it depends. I mean, if this girl is religous and her family is, too, then you possibly have a problem. But then so many people marry nowadays outside religion: Jews + Christians, etc., and yours is just another faith, right? So, it really just depends on how strong this girl is on religion.

Hope everything works out! Hey, if you guys get married or something, half your kids can be Christian and half aethiest; how's that for a compromise? Lolz.

Now and then,
the Gibbler

Answer 2

I like your question. I think it's great that you are considering pros/cons from important angles. I guess the answer depends on how strongly the two of you feel about your beliefs. I don't think there is much harm in group dating or casual dating, but once things get serious, I think you will both have to answer that question.

One of you is going to have to give up what you believe, compromise (if possible), or give up the relationship. I just don't see a chance for a long-term relationship (like if you were to get married) between a true athiest and a true christian without someone needing to change their POV so they can stay with the other.

I won't say which way I go, cuz it's irrelevant, but I wish you the best. You'll figure it out, I'm sure. Good luck!

Answer 3

yes, there is a problem. Do you understand the nature of christianity? Christians believe that unless you accept Jesus you go to hell. Christians believe that you are not to be unequally yoked---date outside of the faith. Even if she is too immature spirtually to understand this....her parents will. This type of relationship will not work. Some claim it can but it doesn't. It simply cannot because from a Christian point of view the relationship will not edify Christ. From your point of view---she just believes in fairy tales and you can get over it. This not to say she is better than you, she isn't. This is not to say her parents are terrible, they are not. I would forbid my daughters to date anyone that is not saved. Why? The bible forbids it. She will not be an effective Christian with a husband she cannot pray with or serve the Lord with. Besides, if you were to marry (I realize you are only 17) her what are you going to tell your kids? If your kids believe there is a God they will think you are going to hell. If you kids believe there isn't a God they will think their mom is crazy. Something just is not working right here? Ya see? Call it closed minded on the Christian's part if you must....but if it is closed minded this will eventually wear on you too. Forgive any oversimplifcation. But it will simply not work. And forget all those people who say they are christian and married an atheist and it works. Someone compromised.

Answer 4

I dated an atheist and it was really hard because he would bash Christians, no matter how I tried to be different than those he had had experiences with in the past. He and I are friends now, but there was a time where he was saying some downright awful things about Christians.
Also, in the Bible, it says that Christians should not be yoked with unbelievers. It seems like they knew even back then what problems could arise.
I wish I could give you some good advice, but it's tough because I was on the dumping side of it. I know I wouldn't go out with one ever again.

Answer 5

Well, if faith issues are important (i.e., not just cultural trappings) to either of you, it's going to become an issue at some point.

Your priorities will ultimately be different, and the way you both process information (i.e., your assumptions on which your reasoning is all based) is different as well. That's a recipe for eventual conflict.

When you start dating, it doesn't seem like a big deal because the relationship is just starting; but once you're talking serious stuff, such as life direction, job, location, how you spend your money and time, how to raise kids and so on, politics... well then things hit the fan.

Someone will have to compromise or change completely as the relationship progresses, or you'll never meet at a personally intimate level.

Would I have a problem with my kids dating an atheist? It's tough not in the sense of being prejudiced (I'm not, and often feel like I have more in common with those outside the church) but in terms of the inevitable conflict that I described above.

If my kids hold certain beliefs and then try to get involved with someone with opposite assumptions about life (all of which impact one's direction and motivations for doing things), they're going to struggle a lot.

As their parent, I want to support them in building a secure relationship as well as encourage them to stick with their convictions. I figure they will be able to make that decision for themselves at that point.

(Even at younger ages, they've already decided to pursue or not pursue certain activities, based on their own convictions, and my task has simply been to support them.)

If I were you, don't polarize this into a religious issue to start with. Instead, approach her simply as a girl you're interested in, see how she responds, and see how much you guys sync up.

Let yourself do the things she enjoys, and vice versa. Get to know her family just as people. It's an opportunity to see and experience another view of life for both of you.

If the relationship becomes uncomfortable for either of you because of religious belief, one of you will break it off. It will happen naturally.

I just don't think you need to set up the conflict so quickly by identifying the religious differences. Let things happen normally, positively or negatively, and take things as they come.

[BTW, watch your "tendency to debate impartially" -- what feels natural and impartial to you, a natural way to relate and share ideas, to some people is very personal and full of conflict and it won't work for them. Just speaking from experience...]

Answer 6

I think most Christian parents would have a problem with it. The bible says not to be unequally yoked. You may like each other right now, but what if it goes further and you fall in love and have children? Would both beliefs always be a debate with each other? Believe me it gets exhausting. Maybe you just might be attracted in whats in her too (Jesus)? Try going to church with her and maybe give the Lord a chance. He does wonders in relationships. But one word of advice, if you do have a relationship don't ever try to get her to believe what you want her to believe because your relationship will crumble, and you don't know for a fact that their isn't a God and it would be a terrible thing for you on judgment day.

Answer 7

As a father, I would not care if my daughter (at your ages) was dating an atheist. But the only thing would be that you will have issues in time if you want something more than going steady. At YOUR ages however that is completly unimportant. You know that if it ever became that you were going to get married then it will become an issue. But for now, dont stress over it. Because it will not be an issue at your ages. Besides she might consider you worth the time to try and get you to beleive in god. As an Aethist are you the type that beleives humans are a cosmic accident and no higher power started the process? Or do you more of an anti-religon of any kind? If you are as yiou say live and let live, then it will not be an issue unless someone makes it one

Answer 8

I'm 21 and I'm a Christian. I've made the decision not to seriously date anybody unless I feel like there's a potential for me to marry him. (Otherwise we're just using each other). I've also decided to only marry a Christian b/c God is everything to me. He's not the most important part of my life, He IS my life. If I couldn't share my source of life and happiness with my life-long partner I don't know what I'd do.

I would be more than happy to become friends with an athiest. However, I wouldn't date one b/c I would know that the relationship would just end anyway. It would be completely selfish of me to date somebody if I knew that I was just going to break up with him eventually.

Answer 9

As a Christian girl, I always wanted to marry a Christian guy.

For one thing, God is the most important thing in my life; how could I spend my life with someone who did not share the same goals, desires, and priorities?

And since you asked, my parents never would have approved of my marrying a man who did not believe.

The Bible says not to be "yoked" with unbelievers, and most people take that to include marriage.

I personally believe that without faith in Christ, a person will not go to heaven. I would never want that for my husband.

The husband God gave me is a wonderful man who shares my core beliefs, and it enriches our relationship more than anything else ever could.

My advice to you is to try to remain friends with this Christian girl. Get to know her and ask her about what she believes, but don't get serious with her. You are young enough that you have plenty of time to find someone who is more like you, who you would love to spend the rest of your life with.

Answer 10

You're asking for trouble. Compromising a core value like this will never serve a relationship.

Most Christians would balk at dating an overt non-Christian. It's a Biblical principle not to be "unequally yoked".

There are plenty of fish in the sea, move on.

Answer 11

hi there you know what this realy depends with the person.what happens is 1 is she really into christianity herself despite the fact her parents are.2 .have you tried to talk to her and here her point of view maybe you are wastign your time thinking otherwise when infact she aint even bothered bout the situation.3 from experience im a christian but the kind of christian i am is that i have to date guys from my own denomination not any other and my parents are strict on this. but the thing is in my heart i dont bother when i dated this guy beacuse he was what i wanted but at the same time i dint want to dissapoint my parents.
But in my heart i knew i had to be with this guy so in the end i went for it, my parents were dissapointed with me but being open to them i was surprised to see how they warmed to him and treated him with respect and respected my choice though they dint like the idea.
what happens is depending on the kind of person you are no matter what you are or what you believe in what is your attitude like.if you have the right attitude and respect chances are it is difficult for them to just shut you out of their daughters life2 it depends with this girl as well dare you already going out? if not make sure you build a good freindship.play it clever dont show you dont like her religion but sound like you are interested to know more than just becoming freinds with her.but do not let it out that you want her ,slowly she will fall for you before you realise you are done . it works well if you get the parents involved as well if you can not a must. play the trick come round to her house often pretend to be so interested but dont over do it. you might be surprised you will meet half way.the only problem there is is that when you both have different beliefs you often argue because the way you see things is different keep that in mind.so respect her views dont crash her if you dont agree with anything rather keep it for later than quote her wrong be a good listener and ask questions were possible to show you are listening and keep negative comments for a later timei guarantee you will not go wrong . good luck