my 16 month old has very bad tantrums is that good for his age?

Question

he acts like he's going through terrible twos and hes not even two yet. He screams when he doesnt get his way, he hits and bites people and thinks its funny(its not). he whines to get my attention...he doesnt sit still when im trying to read to him...he doesnt want to be in the crib no more where he use to take naps..he just wantt to be with me all the time...when i take him outside he runs off and doesnt listen to his name...and he throws things at you when he's mad...is this normal...?? my friend has a 2 1/2 year old daughter and she never acted like this at his age and still doesnt...well not as bad!!!!any suggestion? any of this happen to anybody???

Answer 1

Ok, sounds like to me that its either 2 things,..One he knows that your not in control so he takes over.. how to get control back is more easier said then done but it works...get a chair thats not in reach of anything and give him 2 mins of time out.. or the notty step as my friend calls it when my 3 yr old goes to her house... He will try his best to get control by getting back up to see if you will give in.. Dont!....just keep putting him on the chair and after a few times, he will get the hint.. You will be worn out after a few days of this but once he see's that you are the parent and you have the control back then you will see his bad behavior slowly decreasing.... another thing that could be going on, is where if nothing seems to work, he could be showing signs of ADHD, my oldest son started showing signs of it at 2.. the doctors say they cant detect it until thier 8 but some doctors will make the effort to check into it and then medicate so the ADHD doesnt turn into ODD which is a conduct disorder...Once your child has that, your problems have just begun.....Good Luck hun...

Answer 2

Terrible Twos - don't you just love that term. It doesn't really refer to the age of two but rather the second year of the child's life and it usually starts at around 15 months. AND he's boy and I was told that they are worse than girls because they are more aggressive.
My advice, watch for the tantrum triggers. What does he want when he freaks out on you? Mine had a tantrum in the store the other day because I thought he wanted to play with a glass bottle that I wouldn't let him hold. Finally to get him to stop yelling I gave him something more acceptable to play with. It turned out that he just wanted to throw my shopping items into the carriage for me. So I let him do it with anything that wasn't breakable. Some might say that I'm a bad mother for letting him get away with it - with what? Wanting to help me and using the only way he knew to tell mewhat he wanted? So, sometimes substitution or distraction is a good way to stop a tantrum. Other times the tantrum simply needs to be ignored.
Take away toys that he throws. My son is 26 months and I do that. He's still young enough that I take the toy away (explain why) and then put it back in his toy box later.
Biting - is he teething? Mine was biting all the time when he was teething. Let him know that it isn't acceptable and then give him something like a wet, frozen washcloth to bite. My son has all his teeth now and the biting stopped as soon as that last one came it.
If he whines don't answer him; let him know that if he wants you he must say 'mommy' and always acknowledge him when he does ask for mommy.
Mine is just starting to stay still for a book but I still have to let him turn the page. Start with that - first of all, there is no law that you have to read the book word for word. Make up stories about the pictures. And let him turn the pages for you. Tell him when it is time to turn the page. Only problem that I have encountered with that though was that he expected to do it at storytime at the library.
Well, good luck. I hope I helped - these things worked for us and may not work for you but it is worth a try, right?
Oh, also - my son is more apt to tantrum when he is tired or hungry so that's something else to keep in mind when you are on your last nerve (he's on his last nerve, too).

Answer 3

Sixteen months is not too young to start learning limits. He especially needs to learn that biting is not appropriate.

When he starts acting up tell him firmly but without yelling, "NO. We do not bite." (Or throw things, etc.) Then place him somewhere (playpen?) in time out for just a minute, or if he is having a tantrum, wait until he has stopped. Then pick him up and let him know you love him and are not mad at him. Make sure you praise him when he is acting appropriately.

Some kids hit those terrible twos early, and are wonderful when they are two and older. (Then of course they at some point become teens - that is another story.) Two of my four children were like that. It gets much easier once you are through this stage. Hang in there.

Answer 4

I know that this can be frustrating beyond belief. My daughter, poor girl, is going through this with her first child he is the same age. It sounds like the terrible twos happening early..trust me there is a reason that they are called the terrible twos.. Mostly what the twos are about is finding boundries. This is when a child starts to find out just what is acceptable and what isn't. One of the things I used to do is take my child to a spot in his room (no toys) and tell him i love him but nobody wants to listen to his tantrums and then leave. Of course he will come screaming after you, and you will have to do it a million times, but he will still get the point that in society people aren't wanted around when they are wrecking havoc all over the place. I wish I were there to help you out, lol, I have a way with kids. But try to hold your temper, be loving yet firm,,, this too shall pass, hun.

Answer 5

There is never a good age to have tantrums.

Our little - angel - used to lie on the floor (always making sure he was comfortable first, of course) and go through the whole kick / cry routine. It was SO FUNNY which took the edge off it for him. We also used to step over him as we walked out of the room and left him to it.

Bad behaviour such as running off (why is he not on reins?) kicking and biting must be punished EVERY time, by what ever method use use.

He wants to be with you all the time, so put him in a room on his own when he is naughty. He will soon understand he can only be with you when he is good.
He stopped.

Answer 6

No, this is NOT OK. This boy needs structured discipline. That means 3 swats across the backside, timeout, removing him from any situation he is having a tantrum in, not reading to him when he won't sit still (making him sit still in time out for 2 minutes), if he whines and is not hurt just say no and mean it. For every hit a slap on the hand, for every bite a bite on the arm. If he throws it, he loses it for a day, if he throws it the 2nd time, 2 days, etc. If he runs off he comes in and sits in time out.

The key to all of this is consistency. No matter how long it takes you MUST be consistent. If you do not gain control of him now you will NEVER, and I mean NEVER have his respect or any control in your home.

Write consequences down for yourself if necessary to keep consistant. The child MUST know that for every incorrect action or temper tantrum a definitive punishment or behavior modifier will be effected at that time.

Good luck!

Answer 7

I hope you wont get mad at me but you did ask the question so I'm going to give my opinion on the matter.
My son is now 17 months old and has never acted like that. It seems to me that you son is a spoiled brat and knows he can get away with acting like it. You need to discipline him. The way I discipline my son is by slapping his hand. I hit it hard enough to make it sting a little bit. He knows if he acts up or hits he will get a slap on the hand. I started with him young. As soon as he understood what no meant which was early on around 7 or 8 months then I started disciplining him. The later you start the more problems you'll have making him mind. Start slapping his had and sitting him on the couch for a few minutes. If he gets up, give his hand another slap and make him sit there for the 2 or 3 minutes. Kids, hate sitting on the couch. They want to be up and running around. I babysit a kid who is 20 months old and he went through the biting stage. They spanked his butt and he stopped doing it. It's all about discipline.

Answer 8

Your child is normal. The "terrible twos" actually usually starts around the middle of the second year, so he's pretty much right on track.

Of course he doesn't sit still to be read to....he's a toddler! LOL! I wouldn't expect him to be able to sit still long at all. It's OK for him to get up and move around while he listens to you read. He may get up, play a bit, and come back. That's normal.

He's screaming, hitting and biting because he's only 16 mos and doesn't have all the language skills he needs to express himself yet. Help him build his vocabulary. Teach him the words for his emotions. "That made you mad!" or "you sure look angry!" or "I can see you're getting frustrated" and stuff like that. Put words to what he is feeling and experiencing for him so he'll learn to do the same.

The best way to prevent biting is to be super vigilant. Watch to see what situations usually provoke it so you can step in BEFORE it happens.

DO NOT let anyone tell you to bite your child back! How stupid and cruel! What is it going to teach the child? If you're bigger then it's OK? How dumb to say "no biting" or "no hitting" and then bite the kid back or spank him. What a double standard.

Before you go somewhere with him, talk through in plain, simple language what you expect. "When we go to the park, you will need to walk beside me and hold my hand" or "when we go to the store, you'll ride in the cart." Then if he doesn't cooperate.....LEAVE.

When he does something wrong, get down on his level, look him in the eye and sternly tell him what he did. "Toys are not for throwing" or "hitting hurts.....no hitting" or "teeth are for eating, not biting." Try to reserve the word "NO" for only serious things. Work other words like, hot, dangerous, not for babies, hurt baby, sharp, owie, etc. into your vocabulary so you aren't always saying "NO!" when he goes for something he shouldn't.

If you need to take something away from him, hold out your hand and say, in a pleased voice, "Oh! Thank you!" like he meant to give it to you all along. Kids at this age LOVE to please and will usually give it to you! You can also try trading him something he CAN have for a no-no that he got ahold of.

If you need him to stop what he is doing and go somewhere, give him a warning. "5 mins...3 mins...1 min...OK...time to go! Say "bye-bye" to the slide now." Give him this time to transition from what he was into to what you need him to do.

Gotta go get my kid off the bus.....may be back in a bit....hope this helps!

BACK TO ADD:
At this age, it's really not so much about punishing as it is about TEACHING. He doesn't know what is right or wrong yet at this age and he is still very much impulse-driven. TEACH him patiently what is right and what is wrong. Redirect him, distract him, praise him when he is kind and gentle and behaves well. Use positive reinforcement.

Answer 9

My 15 month old acts the same way hitting does not work he is still a baby . Ihave a 3 year old to she dident do it. Its best just to say no in a very loud tone voice when he acts like that . My 15 month old is acting better.Dont give in when he acts bad. Just dont hit because that just teaches them to hit!

Answer 10

It's normal. The terrible two's are starting early (maybe they'll end early too!). You shouldn't worry unless he tries to hurt himself or hurts himself unintentionally. Just ignore his tantrums. He needs to realize that throwing fits will get you nothing. Good luck and God bless.