Cheesy Jokes?

Question

Ah some cheesy jokes are funny.

My teacher told me these, but it was only the fact that they were so bad and the way that he said it was what made me laugh:

Your face is like a peach...
A football peach (pitch)

Your face is like a flower...
A cauliflower

Your teeth are like the stars...
They only come out at night (dentures)

They're not funny, more so weird!

Share your CHEESY jokes. Best ones win 10 points.

Answer 1

Good.
Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their *** to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna kick their asses!

5. When people say, while watching a film, "Did you see that?". No, Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, Sunshine?

7. When something is "new and improved!"...Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever experiences!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Dumb-***?

Answer 3

Marriage advice from kids HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. - Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10 No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. - Freddie, age 6 HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. - Lori, age 8 WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. - Lynnette, age 8 On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. - Martin, age 10 WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. - Craig, age 9 WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. - Pam, age 7 The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - Curt, age 7 The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them & have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. - Howard, age 8 IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9 HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? - Kelvin, age 8 HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck. - Ricky, age 10

Answer 4

I'm guessing your teacher's from the UK or something, as I've never heard of a football pitch.

Don't really have any cheesy jokes, except the nacho cheese one that was already told. Sorry.

Answer 5

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Isabel
Isabel who?
Is a bell necessary on a bicycle?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cook
Cook who?
That's right, there's one born every minute!
(or - Goodness me, I thought they all flew south in July!)

What do you call a man with a hammer in his head?
I don't know. What do you call a man with a hammer in his head?
Brian.
Why Brian?
Because his brain is a bit knocked about.

Answer 6

Why don't sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

Two peanuts were walking down the street; one was a salted (assaulted).

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.

Answer 7

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat mate!!

How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
Don't know cos it's never happened!!!

Two crisps were walking along the pavement. A car pulled up to them and asked if they wanted a lift.
"No thanks," they answered, " We're walkers!"

Answer 8

Two eggs are sitting in a saucepan of boiling water. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, is it hot in here or is it just me?" The other one says, "Well, I'll be damned, a talking egg."

Answer 9

Man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."


:-D

Answer 10

Hear about the magic tractor?
It drove down a track and turned into a field!