my 2yr old won't go to bed what can i do to help him to settle down?

Question

not just 2 yet, another month. need to clean up and get to bed at a decent hour myself.

Answer 1

Okay, I've read all of the answers and while they're all pretty good suggestions, I take quite a different approach to the whole bedtime thing. Myself, a mother of a 2year old (she turned 2 just last month), I have found that there's a fine balance that you must maintain. If you lie in bed with them every night then they become somewhat spoiled and dependent, so what do you do when you aren't able to lie with them one night and they just refuse to or can't to go to sleep? But at the same time, you don't want to be too hard on them, after all, 2 is a hard enough age for children to begin with. We were having this problem with my daughter when she was getting close to 2 and we moved her into a "big girl bed". I wanted to lie down with her until she fell asleep, but my husband felt that I was spoiling her and he used the "tough love" method of spankings when she got out of bed, I thought that was too excessive. So we came to a compromise... a half hour before bedtime is quiet time, lights get dimmed a little, she may quietly play, watch tv, look at books or have one of us read books to her (we do this because we also have a newborn and don't always have time for warm bath, milk, rocking and story routine), but there is NO rough play, running, loud voices or music. When it is time to go to bed, one of us takes her in, explains that it's time to go to sleep and that she may not get out of bed or she will be put into "time out" (because this is a more passive form of discipline than "tough love"), we cover her up, turn on some classical Celtic music, turn off the lights and shut the door. If she gets out of bed, we put her in "time out" (a car seat she gets strapped into... highchair works too... and put in an isolated corner), she usually falls asleep in "time out" or she tells us she's ready for bed and doesn't get back up once she's been put down.

Answer 2

Is this your first child? You have to realise that your child is looking to you to teach him how to go to sleep. You and I have been going to sleep for years; it's a habit, we know how to do it. Very young children actually have to be taught how. Remember they don't know things until they're taught. Actually tell him to shut his eyes, keep them shut, and lie still under the blankets.

Silverbirch's answer is among the best. Regular routine, the same every night; tv off for half an hour at least before bedtime; warm bath; glass of milo or milk; read stories; remind him of how glad you are to have him; goodnight. Very soft light in his room and very quiet classical music is a great help.
Just put him back into bed every time he gets up. If yours is like mine, you may be doing this for four hours. But after a while, it does work. Get help if he's a toughie. The main points are, routine, stick to the routine, just keep putting him back in bed without any reward if he keeps getting up.

Answer 3

Giving a child a warm bath before bed and then a story when they are already in bed, sets the tone, mood etc. It is important that they have that 'special' time with mom or dad. They also need rules, so that bedtime is bedtime. period. This has usually always worked for me when my kiddies were little. Two is a hard age though, but they usually just want your lovin' and attention.
Good luck.

Answer 4

You need to make a relaxing ritual of going to bed. Reading to your child at bed-time is a great thing. Read stories, not educational books. The idea is to calm them, not get their minds whirling at the end of a day. A good book has a clear ending point. And that's what you want to encourage...a good END to the day.
Don't have your child playing with toys while you read. You want them quiet and totally focused on you. If they have a favorite bear or doll, encourage them to hold it. It's a good bonding time, too. By having to listen to you reading, they will be more likely to listen to you later in life, as well!
Pick out a book that is above their reading level (obviously, at your child's age that is easy - but keep it in mind for school years). This will set the seed for them to strive harder as they advance. And, night-time books shouldn't have too many pictures. Again, the idea is to lull them into sleep, not activate their senses.
Finally, this needs to be done every night at the same time. If your child is resistant to coming to bed for stories, do it anyway. Go into their room, and start reading aloud. Curiosity should bring them to you.

Answer 5

develop a routine that you follow every night. pj's, brush teeth, wash face, story time, tuck in, prayers(if you do this). Kids need this type of routine. It gets to the point that they expect what's going to happen next and that brings them comfort.

The other thing I do with my daughter is I tell her that she has a job at night. It's Head on pillow, eyes and mouth closed and that's how we go to sleep, she's into Dora so I started telling her that that's what Map said!!

Start early. Make the bed time around 7-730. Sit by bed and every night sit a bit closer to the door. Ignore crys, wimpers, and the ever favorite "momma momma!!" If she gets out of bed, pick up tell her bed time, "night Love", tuck in and return to place. Eventully you will be able to just tuck in and leave.

Answer 6

First i would say No sugar after 6:00 Pm, this gives his body enough time to burn it off so he can relax and slow down... Sometimes you have to play bad guy and make them lay down by putting him in his bed and keeping only a night light on.. If he refuses to stay in bed then say " well I am putting up your favorite toy and when you show mommy that you can sleep in your bed like a big boy then you can have it back", they will act like they are mad at you for a few nights but then they realize that you are doing it for thier own good... Kids are very smart lil people..If they figure out how to control you then they will do it..Good luck hun..

Answer 7

The best thing is to have a set bedtime routine. Children work best when they are used to a routine. It may take a little time to get into the swing of things, but eventually you won't even remember you had a problem. Our bedtime routine consists of everyone brushing their teeth, going potty and then laying down. We read them a book or two (depending on the lengh.) I sometimes sing them a song if they are still awake and then I tuck them in and kiss them and leave the room.
Best of luck to you!

Answer 8

I suggest giving him a nice warm bubble bath. I believe it's Johnson and Johnson that sells bubble bath with Chamomille in it, I know that other companies do too. Also try reading him a book and than turn on some soft lullaby music. My kids were terrible at this age too and I did this routine for about two weeks and soon all I had to do was read a book or turn on the CD for them and they would fall asleep.

Answer 9

Lay down either next to the bed or on the bed (depending on how big his bed is?) and he will feel safe and fall asleep. Do this at least an hour before you want to go to bed.

Answer 10

The old wives tale of warm milk. Put some chocolate syrup in it, just enough to make it turn color so he doesn't get hyper. There is an enzyme that breaks down when we warm milk and it makes people sleepy. Just like turkey. That's why we get sleepy after eating turkey on Thanksgiving.