Ever since I made my neighbor a cherry bakewell tart him and his pet ferret keep coming round to the house without prior warning.I dont mind too much but the ferret smells.How do I get by without causing offence to the old man? ps I just think the guy is a bit lonely ever since his wife died in a parascending accident of the coast of malta.
2006-08-18 08:22:11 · 53 answers · asked by intotrouble 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
this is a terrible neighbor. You need to put your foot down and say you have a big problem with stinky birds. It sounds like your neighbor migfht have a lame brain.
2006-08-26 04:20:35 · answer #1 · answered by Calvin of China, PhD 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did you know that in Bakewell in Derbyshire ( where said delicacy was invesnted ) it's called a Bakewell Pudding? You have three choices:
1. Visit him first
2. Be honest and ask him to wash the ferret
3. Tell him you are busy when he calls and can he phone first next time to save the ferret missing out on valuable ferriting time.
Alternatively, buy the ferret an all inclusive parascending package holiday off the coast of Newfoundland ( Ferrets do not like the Med )
2006-08-24 19:59:00 · answer #2 · answered by dws2711 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there are a few thoughts.
One, he is lonely and you will sit and listen to him, give him company, and cook for him. That is hard to stay away from! Plus you don't mention his ferret stinks (they ALL DO by the way) so he thinks you are tops.
Lonliness is horrible, losing a spouse..ohmygosh. He's in need and you seem to provide everything.
Personally I would set up a day for him to visit. Tell him nicely to call first (but this leaves things open for him to call you any time!) or say "Let's visit on Wednesdays, or every other..." that way he has a set time. Maybe while you are doing laundry, whatever. If you are not clear, precise, he may get worse about coming over.
I would tell him no ferret. NO ferret. Say it nicely. If it's that important to you. PLus this will make him think twice before leaving his place..not being able to take his pet. He's not a child, he may be hurt, but just say "I would prefer you didn't bring the ferret." Then LEAVE IT AT THAT, sometimes we want to fill in the gaps. If he asks why, THEN add a nice reason. Don't say he smells, because that may hurt his feelings. Just say "I prefer you wouldn't. " Or lie. Say that when he leaves you feel congested, allergic. HTH Good luck!
2006-08-20 04:03:58 · answer #3 · answered by WriterMom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A person can never have enough friends and neighbors. Ignore all the answers telling you to lie about allergies and the like. Kindly tell him that while you enjoy his company, the ferret has an odor you would rather not permeate your home. Done politely this should get the desired results you are seeking. Everybody appreciates someone that doesn't beat around the bush and doesn't beat them over the head as well. Makes me wish I was your neighbor. The very least you can do is post your recipe! Good luck and I am hoping the best for you.
2006-08-25 12:02:02 · answer #4 · answered by David C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just don't open the door all the way when they come calling. Ferrets are usually very clean; and the 'old' fellow might be pretty spry if he and his wife were paracending.
If you know any older ladies ask a few to come over for a tart and tea, then ask him to come over, they might hit it off. Ladies of a certain age might enjoy his company, even with a ferret. Lot of lonely people in the world.
2006-08-25 04:04:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, that was a lovely thing of you to do, to make your neighbor such a treat. Second, it is good that you are considering his feelings. As for the dropping in w/o prior notice, I suppose you could just set up a standing time for him to visit with you, according to what your schedule and his allows. You could say something like, "I get so lazy (or whatever) when you come over, I don't do the things I planned on getting done that day, and I feel like I should get those things done before I can truly (fully) enjoy your company...why don't we make (such and such time/days) our get-together times?" Something tactful, but not hurtful at the same time. As for the ferret, that may be a bit tougher, as it is likely his faithful companion since his wife's death...perhaps you are truly allergic to it, or your nose is irritated after being around it? Just be honest, and tell him you don't want to hurt his or (ferret's name)'s feelings, but it irritates your nose, and could you be selfish with his company and have him "all to yourself" while the ferret stays at home? I think it is wonderful that you are being so generous with your time and help with your neighbor.
I hope it helps!
2006-08-24 16:13:53 · answer #6 · answered by curious me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think as a good neighbour you should :
1)visit him perhaps once a week or once in two weeks or at least once a month because he is older and loney and as a new neighbour he has no or only a few friends
2)give him something such as cake,juice or other food which can exiting him
3)talk to him about his health and the situation of surroundings which should be known by a new comer and talk also what is his hobby,his activities etc
4)discuss with him politely about his pet and the bad smell of his ferret and give him a good and practical suggestion to avoid its coming round to your house
2006-08-24 16:39:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of trying to find a way to tell him not to bring the ferret without hurting his feelings, why don't you suck it up and drop by to check on him every once in a while at his place. Act like you just want to make things easier on him instead of just not appreiating your house smelling like ferret after he leaves. You'll be making an old man's day without having to air out your house all the time!
2006-08-26 06:41:41 · answer #8 · answered by Cassiopeia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is so sweet that you baked a cake(?) (pie?) for him!
By doing this, you have broken the ice and let him know that he has a friend, and now he is just being friendly.
As for the ferret, just tell him sweetly that although you DO appreciate his company, you could do without the ferret. Or you could always say you are allergic!
2006-08-24 07:31:08 · answer #9 · answered by Ana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww...okay....bringing a pet to someone else's house is rude! tell him you came down with a rash that may be linked to animal dandruff. (hopefully you have no pets of your own) and it's probably best not to have the animal over to see if your outbreak goes away. Say this while scratching your arm vigorously. Either he willl come over without the pet, or not come if he can't manage to leave the pet at home.
and ...can you send me some of that cherry bakewell tart?
2006-08-18 08:33:55 · answer #10 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it that you don't like his company or you don't like the ferret?
There is nothing wrong with saying "Leave the ferret at home" or some variaton of that. You could tell him, "Why don't you come visit me without the ferret and we'll have a soda/coffee/beer/etc. and chat"
Then you don't have to be rude at all!
2006-08-24 09:39:16 · answer #11 · answered by great2bealive85 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋