Young Mothers???

Question

I asked this question yesterday and thought I'd get some diffrent answers today....
I was just wondering why people have such an issue with girls 15+ having children? I have a lot of young mothers as friends and they don't live with their parents or live off the government. I also noticed that young pregnancies are a lot more common and accepted in the south-western states...any opinions on that? I was just very curious because really if it doesn’t affect you why do people care? Why do young mothers get looks as if they have done something incredibly wrong? Why are they taken pity on even if they did want the pregnancy? Why are they considered sluts? And last but not least...why are they automatically considered bad parents?
Thanks for your insight!
-Lindsey-

1 day ago
I would like to add I am a "teenage parent" I am very responsible. I do not live off the government or my parents. My husband is in the Air Force and we have a very stable home. We got married when I was 17. I moved out of my parents house when I was 16 years old...graduated a year early from high school (Dec. 2003) and have a Certificate in Phlebotomy. I don't work though I could and make good money. I also attend online college courses and am hoping to get my associates degree soon. My parents weren't hippies either. I was brought up in a very strict military household. I think I turned out just fine. I have no doubt in my mind my son (6 months) will turn out great! I do respect your opinions but I just want you guys to open your eyes and see that not everything can be stereotyped as quickly as we tend to do. God Bless!

We haven't always been in the Air Force and my husband actually just joined about 7 months ago. We still made it with NO financial support from the government and/or our parents. And I worked to go to school which is hard a full time job and college?!? AND I know at least 10 young mothers who aren't in the military and don't live of the government.

I was emancipated at 16. Which means (if you don't know) I was legally an adult when I graduated school. I'm from Alamogordo, NM and so I think maybe it's just that town specifically, I don't know...I think there the average age for pregnancy is 17.

Answer 1

People assume that because of your age, you must be on welfare, single, mooching off of your parents, and unfit etc. Although I was none of what I described above, I still got treated like dirt by my medics while giving birth because of my age. While shopping with my son I would notice mothers in their thirties turning their noses up at me. People (complete strangers mind you) would have the nerve to ask if I was a single mother or if I was on mother's allowance.

At first I would get angry but then I realized that by being angry, I was giving these people control over how I felt. Now when I get an ignorant reaction from other people I just laugh. The fact is, I am a young mother who is great at my job as a mother and wife, my husband and I support our son 100%, run a successful business together, and probably make more money in two months than these people that look down on me do in two years.

I am a young mother but I do not suggest that age fifteen or even your early twenties is a great age to start a family. Parenting is the biggest responsibility one can take on, you have to become selfless, you are responsible for someone elses life. You must be emotionally, intellectually, and physically prepared to accept that the next twenty years of your life is not about you anymore. Most people that age are not ready for that step. With that said, there are many young parents that are capable of this. I know many young parents that are not well off like I am but they aren't on welfare and don't ask for anything from anybody. Many young parents work twice as hard and in fact overcompensate to prove to others that they are up to the job of parenthood.

My advice is to keep your head up. Don't let a stranger tell you what you are capable of because in the end, the stranger doesn't matter. It is the love and support you instill in your child(ren) and you owning up and taking pride in your responsibility that counts.

Answer 2

Hello. Im a young Mother as well. I graduated high school a year early, I was enrolled in a Vocational school which I graduated from. That is where I meet my ex-husband and Father of my baby (he is my ex becuase he started abusing me after i became pregnant). We got married soon after my 18th Birthday and a month later I became pregnant (mind you he wanted the baby more then I did). I left him and moved home 3 months later. So yes I live with my mom and I do get help from the government. My ex doesnt pay Child Support I have no idea where he is at. I work 32 hours a week, Sacrafice things I need for my baby and I'm ok with that. However when I was pregnant we live in a very small town and it is full of those "OMG" people. So every time I ran into someone I knew there was the stare and then the Are you married question which I was and technically still I'm (my divorce is in Default). It was very uncomfotable and poeple would look at me like oh thats a big mistake? I cant believe she's pregent or worse I knew thats how she was. Which I'm not a slut I have only been with 2 men the one who Raped me and the Ex-husband... (who might I add also raped me while I was pregnant becuase I wasnt in the mood and he was and he was tired of the NO answer). Anyways after I had my baby I had a 12 week leave then after that I started looking for work I dedicated 30+ hours a week to finding a job and never once got a call back.. Why because people in this town dont like to hire young mothers as it sets a bad example not to mention almost everyone my age in this town is a mother. So the government placed me at a work site which is where I'm currently @ at least until November. Im still actively looking for work else where becuase the money the government does give me is only $500 a month for 3 people + insurance... So go a head and think of me what you will, But I'm doing my best.!
Currently Im also Engaged to a wonderful man who lives 2 states away and is going into the military, when he does and we are married I'm going to go back to school for Homeland Security Training or to be a Correctional Officer.

Answer 3

I am very happy to hear that you are doing so well that is great. however you said you had strict parents how can this be if you move out at 16 and got pregnant at 17 ...I know you went to school you graduated early and your still attending school which is great but it just goes to show some people are smart in some ways and not so smart in other way . I hope you and your husband last but people that get married at such a young age it is really hard that it last because you both did not live your own lives and enjoy life.. I think people stare at young mothers and give looks because they don't understand why they would want to make their lives harder then thay have too. and you can not tell me that your live is so perfect and everything is so good because i have 3 boys and it was hard i had my first at 21 and i stayed with the father for 12 years things did not work out and although i love my kids with all of my heart i wish i had waited till after i finished school after i had established a career so that i could have given them a better life ..mind you we are not poor and i have a job but it's a job not a career . my kids and i are happy and i am friends with my ex and we make sure they have what they need and sometimes give them things they want. i wish you and your young family all the best...good luck in life and love take care of your son & each other

Answer 4

People have a problem with it because girls at that age are still children themselves. A lot of children between the ages of 15-17 tend to have sex just to fit in with the crowd so they wont seem like losers for being a virgin. It has been that way for years. I got married and pregnant when I was 19 and I wish I would have waited until I was older. NO IT IS NOT MORE ACCEPTED MORE IN THE SOUTHWESTERN STATES. I live in the southwest and it is just as frowned upon here as anywhere else. I personally do not consider teenage parents as bad parents or sluts or even have a problem with it. You are one of the rare few that seem to did ok with it. I do not recall any state allowing underage marriages without parents signatures, so if you live in such a state good for you. If your parents did have to sign then you did have to have help. A lot of parents will not allow their children to marry so young. You were lucky. I just hope you got married out of love and not for being pregnant. I do not consider teenage moms as sluts or bad parents and do not pity them. If they are old enough to get knocked up they are old enough to take full responsibility financially as I see it. Good luck with the baby hun. My youngest is the same age.

Answer 5

Not many young mothers are as responsible as you. At 15 you are just too young to have children. I was a totally different person at 15 than I am now (I'm 29). Making a decision like that at 15 is just crazy but hey it's not my life. I'm glad you don't live off the govt, but the FACT is that most very young mothers do! So why is it that my tax dollars have to be spent on some 15 year old that thinks she wants a baby? It's good that you are mature enough to be a good mother...where I live that's not always the case. I don't usually assume that someone is a bad parent or a slut or even on welfare. I just feel that at that age you have no idea what you're doing to your life and can really miss out on NORMAL teenage activities. I'm sorry if I offended you but that's just so young...you'll understand some day. Just a thought...but what if your son someday gets a 15 year old pregnant. Do you think he'll be mature enough to take care of a baby??????

Answer 6

I became a mother at age 16, so whatever is said below about "them" essentially applies to me, as well.

The reason that (most) kids shouldn't have children this young is because they are still in the process of growing up for themselves. This is also the reason they're considered unqualified to be parents (in your words, "bad parents"). They don't know what's up yet, so how can they lead others?

It sounds as if you have a fairly level head on your shoulders, but please, believe me when I say that you're not anywhere near done growing up yet. The amount of maturing that happens between 15 and 25 is significantly more than anything that has happened in the entire 15 years before (or probably the 30 years after). The chances of you getting divorced simply because of the growing that will happen in the next few years is significantly higher than it would be had you waited.

They're automatically considered sluts because they SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN HAVING SEX at such a young age...what part of that is difficult to understand? Guys seem to be the only ones who actually put value on a girl's virginity these days...all of the girls seem to discount it as something to get rid of as soon as possible. Meanwhile, they're throwing their own self-worth out along with it, 'cause they don't put value on their own bodies. FYI, I believe that all the girls out there who are having sex and don't get caught are acting like sluts, too.

I believe it's entirely possible to be a good parent even if you start young (I've done it!)...But it is FAR from ideal, and is so much more difficult when you don't give yourself the opportunities of a committed husband (who's committed for reasons other than the baby), a solid job, maternity leave, medical benefits, or even your own self-assurance.

Answer 7

im a young mom. i got prego at age 18 and had my lil guy on my 19th bday... he is the greatest gift of my life. I do not spunge off the government. My guy works a good 54- 60 hours a week... pullin in 17- 19 an hour. I am working on my nurses assistance and once i get certified i have a job offer making anywhere from 10.50- 14.00 an hour.... and i will be going for my QMA and they pay anywhere from 14- 18... in my graduating class there were 40 girls out of 120 kids... who were pregnant or had children or what not. we are not sluts we all still know who the dad is.. and my guy and i have been together for 2 yrs now. and happy as ever. so i dunno who says young moms are trash dead beats are wrong. I graduated and i carried a 3.0 gpa.... so some people get stereotypical and just think what they want. and i want everyone to know just cause your a young mom, doesnt mean your a bad person.. it just means ya made a bad decision at an early time. but your bad decision gave ya the most awesomness thing in this world. a beautiful baby boy/girl.. so too alll you who wanna diss us young moms go on ahead.. you all have no clue what you all are missing. cause i know im proud to be a young mom of a 10 month old lil boy! (:

Answer 8

a lot of people think that at that age you are not capeable of raising a child because you really cant even take care of yourself. where i live there is a high percenage of teenage mothers, most of which DO live of the government and do drugs and abuse their children and get free housing because they have kids and are too lazy to work. my ex-step sister had her first baby at 17. she used it as an excuse to live off other people (her mother bought her a car, a cell phone, and everything else she would need). she also got free daycare and used it so she could sit around the house all day writing love letters to the babys father in jail. shes 20 now and she just had another kid 3 days ago with a 16 year old boy. i feel bad for her kids because they didnt deserve to be born into this life that she is choosing for them. so i can see where some people are coming from but it still doesnt give them the right to judge teenage mothers that they dont know.

Answer 9

I am not a young mother but, my friend is. I know how your feeling because it hurts having bad accusations thrown at you. I have always wondered if god didn't want girls to become mothers why do we have our periods at such a young age if it was not okay. Having children at a young age doesn't make you a bad person it makes you stronger, if people just realized that it's hard enough being a teenager and getting pregnant on top of all that i think people might be more understanding of that. I just have to say that i think you are an extremely strong and brave person because of it and in some ways i envie you.

Answer 10

Well not every teenage girl is like you and has the privelages of military $$ like you do, so a lot of young girls do have children and need the financial support of the government and things because they didn't finish high school and dont have $$ to do college things like you. Besides why do you care if you are so great and "adult" then why bother yourself with petty people's judgements. Only God can judge you.