I had a little argument with my mom, now she says she doesn't want me to call her any more. what should I do ?

Question

when I realized that my mom favoured my three younger siblings than she did my brother and I, I guess that's because she married their father, my older brother G never met his father when he was 15 and I cannot tell you what my dad looks like. We were always the black sheeps in the family. We were always beaten or left outside to sleep. My mom gave up on my brother J, and expects me to do the same, something I cannot do. So should I call her back or should I just walk away and never look back?

Answer 1

Wow- do we have the same mom?
Seriously, though, don't call her. She sounds like she's the over dramatic type and she's not good in your life anyways. If she really is like my mom, she'll just call you out of the blue one day and act like nothing ever happened.

Answer 2

First ,there are always 2 sides to every story.My mom was great when we were children but after our parents divorced she met a guy a couple of years later and had nothing to do w/ us because HE wanted to keep us away.I tried for several years to keep contact w/ them but they were always golfing some where or he had to be in a church playing his guitar.My family went thru Katrina and we lost touch with my mom.She died .I didn't think I cared till I saw her in that coffin at 85 lbs.she had been starved to death by that BAS****.She was always a tall,heavy woman.He has full control of all her $$.By the way he never worked a day in his life,she paid for it all.I I don't want anything from him.I wish I had those years w/ her that I lost .Give her some time she may change her mind.BUT no child should ever be beaten or treated like a worthless rag and thrown outside.I know all those years people said we'd be sorry for not having mom in our lives BUT REMEMBER IT WAS SHE THAT MADE THAT CHOICE NOT US.All you can do is try.Good luck.I know it hurts.Believe me I do know .

Answer 3

Family is so important. Communication is the main ingredient in all relationships. If you haven't already talked to your mother about your feelings of neglect, do so. Not in a confrontational manner but a more sad manner. If this does not make her see her ways or feel bad, it may be time to walk away and concentrate on the other loving relationships in your life. (ie. friends, brother, etc) Regarding your brother, No, don't give up on him, he is obviously crying out for help and it sounds like you both really need eachother. Stay close to him and help guide him. Best wishes, I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 4

For the moment walk away. It sounds like you were abused as a child. Now you are trying still to win your Mother's love. It won't work. Seek out a competent doctor with whom you can share what happened to you when you were young this doctor can help you to realize that you are a great person no matter what anyone thinks. Believe me any child who is beaten and left to sleep outside is abused. DO NOT CALL YOUR MOTHER SHE IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! Best of luck to you.

Answer 5

It sounds like you've made your choice already, your brother. Send your mom a note, letting her know that you will always be open to communication with her, but that you cannot abandon your brother. I also think that seeing a councelor of some sort would be something that both you and your brother ought to consider. If this was how you were treated growing up, you both have some serious issues to talk about. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

just how "little" was the argument?
Walk away, that's the best thing right now. Don't let her manipulate you or say that you don't love her or you're good for nothing. It sounds like she made her choice a long time ago. Get your act together, and then if you want, approach her from a more secure place emotionally and spiritually. And good for you for sticking with your brother, you just watch out for yourself too.

Answer 7

Dont walk away, you're family is the one thing you can never replace.

Give her a few days then call her back. Parents make mistakes just like you will make maistakes. The only thing you can do is forgive and move on. If you think about it, beating up on your mom for something she did when you were kids is pretty pointless.

As for your brother, just don't bring him up to your mom but continue to do what you think is right.

Answer 8

Honey, I am in almost the same position as you.. But the difference is my mom gave me up and she never looked back. I can count on my hands the numebr of times I have seen her in my life! One time she came and I asked her who my father was and we fought and never spoke after that! I'm doing great! It's up to you really! Dont give up on your brother..He maybe the only real family u have left!

Answer 9

honestly, if you can walk away and live with yourself I think it would be in your best interest in the long run; but too often as daughters we need our mom's and usually end up taking more abuse than we need too. I think some mom's know that we need their love and approval and tend to take advantage of the situation. I am sure that none of this answered you question, but I want you to know that you are not the only one with mother struggles... Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck and hope that it all works out as it should.

Answer 10

I agree with Russ_D. Give it a few days to cool down, and then try to speak with her again. It must be a hard decision to make, being that it's your mother. If it was me, if my mother couldn't accept that I'm not going to give up on my brother, then I would just walk away from her.

Answer 11

Sweetie this one comes from the heart. I know where your coming from. I grew up all my life not knowing who my father was and I resented my mother for it. But I lost her three years ago and I miss her like crazy. You only have one mother in this lifetime. You should Cherish the time you have with her. Call her and try to make up with her. She is the only mother you will ever have.