We are having only 4 children there and about 20 adults and the kids get pizza automatically and we'll have to pay for food for the adults. My husband and mother in law think that we should ask everyone to chip in for the pizza for the adults. Do you think that it would be rude to ask for them to chip in? Would that make me a bad hostess?
2006-08-18 06:46:24 · 42 answers · asked by guineasomelove 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Okay, there are so many adults because they are family and close personal friends and they love my daughter very much and they want to be there with her to help her celebrate her birthday. There are so few children because the family and friends are older and all of their children are grown up. The kids are my two youngest brothers and our friends son.
The reason we are having it at Chuck E. Cheese is because my little girl gets really excited when she sees the commercials or the coupons in the paper. It's her second birthday, one that she will actually enjoy being that she's starting to talk and has been walking for quite some time now.
Thanks for all of the honest answers though.
2006-08-18 07:10:37 · update #1
First off, my daughter is turning two, just so you know.
Secondly, I'm paying for the children. I'm paying for their food, drinks, tokens, party favors, cake, ice cream, suvineir cup and other things. I'm not asking for them to pay for that. I just thought that if they could pitch in like $4.00 each, then that would be good because the extra food is going to cost close to $100.00. I can't bring outside food into the restaurant or I would.
2006-08-18 07:19:53 · update #2
THIS IS NOT A PARTY FOR ADULTS!!!!!!!!!!! I don't care if 100 adults are coming, it's still a party for a two year old child. Nobody is being dragged there. All of them are coming because they love my child and want to be with her.
I don't agree with my husband and MIL. I've been trying to tell them that we should pay and we can afford it. My husband just tries to be frugal where he can be. I was just asking if it would be rude. Thanks for the comments. I really appreciate the help.
2006-08-18 07:27:35 · update #3
If you ask for them to chip in on the food long beforehand, then it shouldn't be a problem.
But....some of those 20+ adults will still think you're cheap.
Personally, I'd just pay for all of it because I'm the one throwing the party, and I'm sure these adults will have already spent a couple dollars on birthday gifts.
2006-08-18 07:01:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is so wrong on so many levels.
First of all, you're having 4 children and 20 adults at your little girl's birthday party. Reminds me of my cousins who always threw a Summer BBQ for their son's birthday and invited the entire crowd from the local bar where they hung out. At least their son knew the crowd though, seeing as he was just about raised in the bar, but I digress ...
Given the crowd, I don't know why you selected Chuck E Cheese. It's an adult party, regardless of the occasion.
However, as long as you've gone this far, yes - it would be rude to ask the adults to pay for their own food. Look at it from their perspective: how many of them do you suppose are delighted at the idea of spending a day at Chuck E Cheese to eat some lousy pizza? Wives are forcing their husbands to accompany them, warning them to be on their best behavior because, "it's just for a couple of hours." They're being gracious by attending; you can't very well ask them to pay for it as well.
Finally, you're not treating them to fine Italian dining: it's pizza at a kids' party place. It shouldn't break you. Besides, it is understood that the person who extends the invitation treats his/her guests. If money is that tight that you can't afford a kids' pizza party, you should not host one. People would be more understanding of that than being asked to pay their own way. What will you do when your daughter turns Sweet 16 and you have to host a real affair? Not like you can charge $75/plate for admission.
Now, I realize you're receiving pressure from your husband and his mother. I apologize and you have my deepest sympathy if you're against their idea and looking for a way to fend them off. Don't they realize that, if nothing else, it's tacky?
2006-08-18 07:11:57 · answer #2 · answered by nyboxers73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We went through the same thing for my sons birthday party. First of all we made it very clear that if any adults would be eating that they would have to pay for their own. Second I just want to let you know that I could have thrown a better party at my house for less then what that place costs. The hostess was so rude and she rushed everyone to eat because you only have so long to enjoy your party. I will never go back there again. I just wanted to let you know so that you realize it may not be all it's cracked up to be. Good luck and Happy Birthday to your Daughter!
PS... And drinks aren't included in the party package either!
2006-08-18 06:59:13 · answer #3 · answered by Amy A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If only four children are taking part in the party and 20 adults want to be in that number, they should pitch in. As a matter of fact, I would send out invites, letting the adults know that the children are free but the adults must pay for their own food and favors.
2006-08-18 06:54:39 · answer #4 · answered by gravelgertiesgems 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with whomever said that you should have the adults party at the house. I also think that if I was going to the party, I would chip in for the pizza. Even a couple bucks. But then again, why would you go through the hassle of having a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party for only 4 kids? I'd keep them at home, let'em run around in the sprinkler or take them someplace like a pool or lake and have a picnic.
2006-08-18 06:54:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If I were having the party, I'd be happy to let others chip in, though I would have a hard time deciding when and how to ask them to. Do you ask before they come, or when they arrive, or when they're eating the pizza? :) I suppose if they are close friends to you, you could maybe just call each one a couple days before the party and casually bring it up, maybe asking their opinion on it. Most of them would probably think it was a good idea to chip in and offer then. That would keep you from having to ask!
2006-08-18 15:23:46 · answer #6 · answered by emily1980 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is quite rude to have people at a birthday celebration of any kind, of any cost, and ask them to chip in for food or anything else. If you can't afford it, just have the little ones at the pizza place, and invite everyone else to your home for cake and ice cream.
2006-08-18 10:31:15 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it would make you rude. They are bringing gifts and shouldn't have to pay for their own meal when you invited them. FYI since the adults outweigh the number of kids it's going to be a crappy party at the cheese's. I suggest you just take the four kids out one afternoon with one other adult to talk to. If I were invited to a bday party for a kid and knew this ratio I wouldn't go.
2006-08-18 06:52:58 · answer #8 · answered by sugarcarat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you having more adults than children? Why dont you just have the party at home. It sounds more like the party is for the adults. And I think adults should pay for their own food.
2006-08-18 06:51:57 · answer #9 · answered by crystal lee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would say so. you are inviting them to your daughter's birthday party. they really don't have to show up but as a courtesy they are. i can understand what you mean though but it would be considered bad etiquette. They may not come to your other parties. if you cannot afford it then maybe you should try having it in your home. dont spend money you dont have. that's the worse and plus you dont want people talking about you at the party. that would draw hostility and ruin the mood of the party.
2006-08-18 06:52:30 · answer #10 · answered by ♣DreamDancer♣ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋