My 4 year old just started school for the first time, shes never been to daycare. Ive already gotten 2 complaints that she does not stop talking and wont stay in her seat. She also has been hitting the other children...I dont know what to do. i spoke to her calmly and explained that she had to be a good girl and she agreed but it didnt work? i dont understand because she LOVES going to school....
2006-08-18 06:22:25 · 17 answers · asked by knufflebunny 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You need to use logical and natural consequence. Be on call with her teachers. As soon as she acts up have the teacher call you and go get her right away. Have a really boring day with her. Try keeping her home the next day. Tell her "If you are (going to hurt someone, not listen to your teachers) then you can't go to school." Since she loves going, she should get the message right away that she needs to respect others at her school.
Have a peer over for a play date. Do some role playing with her. Practice staying in seats and raising hands when you want to speak.
If she hurts her peer, rush to her peer and empathize. Say "Ouch! That must have hurt! You must be so (mad, angry, upset, frustrated). Let's get some ice to put on your sore." Ignore your daughter. She will not like feeling left out. Have that child tell your daughter "I don't like when you hit me! I don't want to play with you if you are going to hurt me." It is a very powerful message when coming form another child.
Empathize with your daughter when she is calm. "You must have been really (angry, frustrated, mad, upset) when you hit "Emma." What can you do next time instead of hitting?" She will soon learn to express her emotions rather than lash out. Good luck!
2006-08-18 07:42:23 · answer #1 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the SAME problem when my oldest started preschool at the age of 3. The teacher told me they thought I should put him on meds for ADHD. I told them I didn't want him on meds. This was in a really small town by the way. Anyway, we moved to a bigger town that we lived in before and took him to his old dr. She looked at his tonsils and said they were a 3 on a scale from 1-4 with 4 being the biggest. He was also not sleeping very much at all at night so he did a sleep study. He later had his tonsils removed and he is like a totally different kid. He goes to a new school and his teachers say he is a pleasure to have in class. Before he was hitting, not sitting in his seat, and talking. Now he listens. I use to not even beable to take him in a store b/c he would run away all the time, and now he will hold my hand in a store. By the way, there are NO "terrible 2's"...it is really "terrible 3's". LOL. My middle son was an angel, and he became a menace after he hit 3 also. Goodluck! Have any questions feel free to ask. Oh and I am a stay at home mom so my kids rarely played with other kids. My 2 oldest are both in preschool and both love it.
2006-08-18 13:37:14 · answer #2 · answered by Froggie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"spoke to her calmly and explained that she had to be a good girl and she agreed but it didnt work? i dont understand because she LOVES going to school...."
I think that is your problem right there. Speaking calmly and trying to reason with a CHILD. If you really want her to behave you need to put a little fear into her. That will get through to her more than your babying will. Maybe make her do time outs and go sit alone for a few minutes. That is a very good way to handle it. You could always take away her toys for a period of time etc.
You have to let her know you are serious.
2006-08-18 13:37:32 · answer #3 · answered by Jenniphur 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter does alot of this and more. my daughter has sensory intergation though your daughter just sounds alittle over active.
The teacher should also relize that this is a first time for your daughter to in a social setting and she does not know how to act. The only way she is going to learn is by repetive action.
Your daughter is not spoiled she is learning what she can and can not do. This is new to her. She is being a 4 year old.
If her teacher have such a big problem with how she acts then ask them if they think that having someone to come in and eveluate her for their special needs program will help. Most likely she will say yes and then someone will come in and eveluate her and they will say that there is nothing wrong with your child she is being a normal 4 year old who is new to this concept and that the teacher needs to help you in explaining how she is soppose to act.
You can try the chart that people have metioned it does help. It has help my daughter even with the SID.
Don't get frustated just keep explaining the things ahe can and can not do and why. And make sure the teacher also helps her understand instead of pushing her away and labling her as a "bad child".
2006-08-18 13:47:31 · answer #4 · answered by butterfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son never went to daycare or had strict punishment; And he never acted up in Prek other than the first week.
I sat my son down and said to him when he acted similiar "You love school and want to go but if you can't be good and listein to the teacher she isn't going to want you there. And asked him if the other kids started hitting him would he want to play them? Would it hurt your feelings? I got the (Do onto others thing across to him and he stopped). Also the sticker thing works wonderfully as well.
But also remember all kids develope at different rates so some will be ready to listein to someone other than mom and dad and some won't. Some will be able to sit quietly and some won't. Don't let the teachers try to push the kids too hard too fast.
Katrina
2006-08-18 13:41:53 · answer #5 · answered by Spencer&Kimberlys_Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your daughter's teacher and try to come up with a plan together. IF you both are doing the same things, it is more likely that your daughter will understand what is expected of her.
Like you she she didn't go to day-care so she doesn't know what is expected of her and she probably hasn't had much regular contact with other children so she doesn't know how to behave.
One suggestion I do have is when you are eating supper at the table to tell your daughter you are going to play school. And everyone at the table has to raise their hand of they want to talk, and when someone is talking everyone else has to listen. Make a game of it.
2006-08-18 13:32:58 · answer #6 · answered by yzerswoman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the teachers reaction when she acts up? Is she disciplined then? Children usually have a reason to hit. Is it possible that she is just defending herself? Talking to her and explaining why we don't hit and that she needs to listen to the teacher is a great practice. If you were able, I would suggest watching from the door (she doesnt know your there) and see how she really acts. If she does act up, have the teacher send her to the hall where you are and address it then.
2006-08-18 13:30:55 · answer #7 · answered by drkblueangel14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her a star for each day the teacher doesn't report anything negative. After so many stars let her buy a book or something she likes.
Take her to the library and places where you must listen without talking and making disruptions. Drop by school occasionally to see how she acts.
2006-08-18 13:31:25 · answer #8 · answered by Starr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her never having been to daycare plays a big part. She doesn't know how to act in a social setting such as a class room. Maybe you should try daycare for a few months then send her to Pre-K.
If that doesn't work then by all means "beat that azz"
2006-08-18 13:30:31 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
set up times where she can play with other children, so that she can get used to the children. then you should take them or just her to a controlled setting like the library where she has to obey some rules. if that doesnt work then she needs to be hit on the butt a couple of times or put in time out.
2006-08-18 13:34:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋