I am in a brand new relationship and my girlfriend tells me that her ex and her are just friends. I don't like the fact that she talks to me about his life and that she talks to him throughout the day. I wear my emotions on my sleeve so when I get upset she knows it immediately, then she gets upset. What should I do?
2006-08-18 05:58:37 · 14 answers · asked by KEN 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can't get rid of the jealousy, it's a normal emotion. Now how you choose to react to it is a different story.
From personal experience, I don't like to hear details of my boyfriend's ex, or anything in that nature; regardless if they are friends or not. I have to say that it all depends on the subject matter. So I make that very clear that he can do without the explicit details. It would be impossible not to bring up the subject of an ex.
All I gotta say is that he's an ex for a reason and you're the one with her now. If it becomes an issue and you can't deal with it then you need to move on and meet someone else that sees eye to eye with you on these things.
GOOD LUCK!
2006-08-18 06:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by cinnamon_latin_doll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Out of courtesy to you, she should stop with the whole "ex" thing. I understand where you're coming from - my new b/f has an ex-wife who keeps on trying to be a part of his life - & he's told her very rudely to get out, stay out & never call again! Your girl needs to remember that there's a reason she & this guy are splits & that YOU should be her focus now. I'd sit down & have a talk with her about it - try to keep yourself from getting upset, see if you can maintain a level voice, not get emotional - let her know how it makes you feel & explain to her that you aren't comfortable discussing her ex & that she still so much in his life & in his business. If she becomes defensive & insists on continuing to do things her way, you may need to walk. That would simply be to keep you from getting hurt. It sounds to me as if she may have unresolved feelings for the ex - not just the whole "lets be friends" thing. Good luck my dear - I hope all goes well.
2006-08-18 13:08:32 · answer #2 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you need to tell your friend that you are really not all that interested about talking about her ex. Secondly jealousy is a characteristic you were born with. You can't help but to be jealous. However, it is what you do with your jealousy. You see there is good and bad jealousy. Good jealousy is when you friend for example, find the love of her life and gets married. You say "damn why can't I be happy like that". Anyway you are happy for her and wishes her and her man happiness. Bad jealousy is when you sleep with her husband just for the hell of it. You want her to be miserable and unhappy like you.
2006-08-18 13:22:11 · answer #3 · answered by jessica b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe she is being very insensitive to your feelings. A new relationship is hard enough. I believe men and woman can be friends but talking about another guy all the time and an x at that shows immaturitity. why does she do it knowing it upsets you is what really bothers me.does she need to know you are jealous to feel secure about herself? id ask her one more time to respect my feelings and if she doesnt id be asking why am I with someone like her?
2006-08-18 13:14:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adrress the reasons why are you are jealous. Is this a rebound relationship for her? How long ago did the relationship end? Has there been enough tim efor her to just really think of him as a friend?
Also, has there been a pattern of jealousy in your past relationships?
2006-08-18 13:04:59 · answer #5 · answered by dionne m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get with her and talk this out. First of all, she's wrong for talking about her ex's life to you let alone "chatting" with him through out the day. You deserve the same respect you give her. I'm quite sure your not flaunting your ex's life in HER face.
2006-08-18 13:06:48 · answer #6 · answered by Tee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is part of human nature that cannot be removed. You may be able to reduce it by trusting her more and not feeling insecure.
2006-08-18 13:09:29 · answer #7 · answered by EJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi ken..jealous i think is a form of hate at times ..but sure is normal to be jealous..why does she need to still talk to her ex ..do they have kids? if so thats ok..but if not tell her it bothers u ..she needs to take your feelings inconsideration too! if u are a couple
2006-08-18 13:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by chas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, it is not going to work. Dump her cold turkey and try to find someone else who is not still in love with their ex.
2006-08-18 13:08:13 · answer #9 · answered by swelter_skelter 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her you think she's too focused on her ex...consider finding someone else who knows how to "let go" of the past...
2006-08-18 13:06:36 · answer #10 · answered by R J 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋