Moms-how have you dealt with burnout? Help.?

Question

Please, serious answers only. Taking a break is obviously not the answer since we are just getting started again. Thanks.

I am addressing mom burnout. This is our 8th year. We now have 5 (busy) boys. The oldest struggles with spelling/writing and the 5 year old needs to start Kindergarten. I just hit the panic button! This means 8th, 6th, K, and 2 toddlers--gulp. Thanks in advance for EVERYONE'S input. The whole best answer thing---all feedback has been helpful---thank-you!

Just wanted to say thanks again---I'm going to click a 'best answer' but each of you gave me food for thought and I apppreciate it!

Answer 1

Check your schedule - are you just trying to do too much? You are only one woman, and, NO, we can not have it all. Our schedule is to have school for four weeks (four days per week), then take one week off (we do this year-round). This allows ME to take a break, as well, and figure out what (if anything) we need to change before our next month.

My house only gets a really good cleaning on our week off (and even then, not always). I'll sacrifice a clean house now for intelligent, well-adjusted adult children in the future. I follow the old adage that, "A hundred years from now, it will not matter..."

Write down your goals and then put them in order. Now get rid of all of them except the top two - that's enough for anyone to worry about at one time. Should you ever accomplish them, you can add more then.

Did you take the summer off from school? If not, it's perfectly appropriate to take a week or two (or even a month) off to recharge. If you DID take the summer off, what did you do that has you so drained already? Did you relax, or was it go-go-go all summer? If you didn't have a chance to relax this summer, give yourself permission to take time off now. Remember, homeschool kids generally graduate high school a full four YEARS ahead of their peers, so what's a month off now going to matter?

Best wishes!

Answer 2

I'm not a mum and it's very unlikely I ever will be unless the scientists come up with a way that lets men and women have babies.

Burnout is stress and stress is both a mental any physical condition. Some of the physical attributes can be ovecome by making sure you're eating a healthy and balanced diet and are getting regular exercise. Physically demanding exercises and sport are good stress-releivers especially if they involve some form of sudden energy release (kick boxing for example). It's also important to get enough sleep - not necessarily all at once but cumulatively.

The mental asepcts can be harder to deal with as different people react differently. For some, engaging in some sort of activity that they enjoy can be beneficial - it doesn't have to be anything expensive or time consuming, it may be as simple as answering a few questions on here or taking a walk in the fresh air.

It's also important to share anxieties and stress so talk with family and friends. They may be able to help, even if it's doing a few chores round the house or running errands - it all helps to take the pressure off you. Even if they can't help that way, just by being their and listening will help you.

There are various medicinal products including natural ones, this isn't something I know much about so I'd suggest talking to a doctor, pharmacist, health food specialist, healer etc.

In the wake of the Asian Tsunami I was involved in releif work and later fundraising for an average of 20 and a half hours a day, 7 days a week for 4 months. So much so that I was working whilst on the loo and had to be driven around as I didn't have time to drive myself. As you can imagine this was both physically and mentally exhausting but I managed by focusing solely on the immediate task in hand and dealing with one thing at a time - keeping and staying focused, having a plan and sticking to it, setting targets and objectives etc. This worked for me, it may or may not work for you.

Above all, you need to get a rest or have a break from time to time which I know is easier said than done. Prioritise your tasks into things that must be done today, must be done soon, should be done, could be done or might be done if you feel like it.

Concentrate on the must-be-dones, once those are out of the way everything else can wait a while. At this point call on family and friends to look after the house, the kids etc and escape for a day or two and do something different that you enjoy but away from your usual haunts. As they say - a change is as good as a rest and you'll come back revitalized and able to attack the outstanding tasks with more energy and vigor.

Good luck and I hope you do manage to find some time for yourself.

Answer 3

I am just starting a formal homeschooling program with my daughter--I say that because I feel that we have homeschooled since birth. We are now going thru a charter school so she can attend classes etc.
I have also found another mom that homeschools from my church and we are going to to a little co-op so that we can each take a break while the other ones teaches or at least keeps them busy--I am hoping that I will find more families like this and be able to share some of the responsibility.
I have also heard that some moms make a strict go to bed/room policy early like 7-8 pm. Depending on the ages of the children some let them read or whatever but they must stay in their room. This gives you some quiet time for decompressing.

Answer 4

I have a 21 yr old I had him when I was 18 and now I have a 7 and and a almost 5 year old boys. I worked with my first child and have stayed home with the two boys. I have been away from the boys 2 days/nights last month for the first time since they were born when I had surgery which I was calling my vacation. Which wasn't a vacation, didn't go as good as I hoped. Anyways they start to school monday. One all day the other for 2 1/2 hours. I can't wait. Some say that sounds bad. I am burnt out. I need something. I am tired. They are the most wonderful gift of my life, but they are a handful and I am exhausted and day to day is exhausting and I need something. Everyone says take time for yourself, go on date night with your husband, etc. But who has the money or time? If these things are possible for you DO THEM. Take any time you can for yourself and or your husband and enjoy it!!!! I don't have any family and can't leave the boys.
GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 5

I've made big changes when burnout came, mine or the kids. It could be shaking up the routine, changing the materials used, changing the way the schooling is done, things like that. Things we've done are to make all the work oral for a bit, do all the work through games, set timers for a small amount of time so at least something in a particular subject gets done, have fun breaks during the day, they win my chocolate chips for every answer they get correct, I might read aloud more from books, things like that.

I do have to ask, though, how is it that you've hit burnout when you've only just restarted? Is it you, the kids or both?

Answer 6

We had that problem last year and I discovered a less structured style works best for us. Are you using a formal curriculm? We were and now we take things more naturally. An unschooling approach. I have found that for my sons letting them pick some things to learn about worked for us. They were much more interested and we could fit many subjects into the topic. Try a unit study approach.

Answer 7

Do little things for yourself that will not take up a lot of time: Walk for about 15-20 minutes a day, focus on someone in your family that is an elder or sickly (that one always helped me feel better about my stress) or go to a library where it is peaceful and sit and just surf through a book that may interest you.

Answer 8

Is it you or the students that are burned out? I know sometimes it's easier on my mom when I can take classes with other homeschoolers like I'm taking geometry from somebody else, and that way she doesn't have to worry about that plus I like being around other students, so getting outside help may be a good option for you.

Answer 9

I knit. I hang out with other homeschoolong ladies and I sleep in on Saturdays. The other thing I do is say "NO" to alot of stuff. I try not to put too much on my plate. I also relax my homeschooling methods. I'm not totally unschooling my kids, but I try to make sure I'm much more relaxed than the schools.

Best wishes!

Answer 10

I think you are referring more to the kids being "burnt out" on school work?

Do some research on unschooling. You may find this fits better for your family.