I want to spend every minute we have free together, and he doesnt. I revolve my life around him and it seems like he does whatever! I know he cares, but am I pushing him away? What should I do to change and make him feel the same way?
2006-08-18 04:55:45 · 18 answers · asked by Sweetness 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I do feel insecure about myself and dont know how to change that...Help me please!
2006-08-18 05:07:59 · update #1
Yes, you are pushing him away. Many men do not want to be with women who cling to them and stop living their own lives. I found this out quite by accident. Have you ever wondered why guys you only like as friends or who you don't like at all find you so irresistible? It's because you are unavailable and they have to chase you. Try this: back off a little. Don't call him all the time and try to do things on your own and with your friends. When he calls, talk to him but give him the chance to initiate plans with you. Also, though it may sound like game-playing--let your answering machine or voice mail pick up sometimes. You don't want him thinking you sit around waiting for him to call. Trust me. I'm a woman and almost 40 and men don't like women who behave like puppies.
2006-08-18 05:09:00 · answer #1 · answered by DeeDee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally know where your comming from. Ive been with my bf for over a year now, its my first relationship and he has had many because he is 9yrs older than me. He became my best friend, and I wanted to do everything with him, always be together etc. In the end, when he wanted to do some things alone, I would feel rejected and lonley. But this is a mistake! It is necessary to spend some time apart, so that you dont get sick of each other, and so that you can keep living your own life. If one partner makes the other partners life their own first priority, the relationship cannot function, and it will fail eventually. Take some time to yourself, start a new hobbie, go out with your friends. THis does not mean you dont love your boyfriend anymore, but rather that you are with him because you love him and not because you NEED him.
2006-08-18 05:06:21 · answer #2 · answered by ophierose 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are trying too hard to make him return the feeling you have for him. You CANNOT make someone feel the same way about you if they don't. Just back down a little. Don't act like you can't live without being with him, because they will look at that as desperation and then yes you will have pushed him away.
Just give it time. It will do what it will.
2006-08-18 05:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by starlet_80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will never fell the same way. Guys just don't get that way. Let him have his free time. Just because he doesn't want to spend every moment with you doesn't mean that he doesn't care. Guys enjoy being alone sometimes. If you give him the space he needs, you will enjoy the time that you are together more.
2006-08-18 05:08:24 · answer #4 · answered by mrodrx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just breathe. Give him some space and get yourself a hobby! I wonder if you're feeling insecure about the relationship and that's what's making you feel so needy and clingy. Perhaps this is the real issue - working out why you feel you need to be with him 100% of the time...
2006-08-18 05:03:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, you sounds exactly how i was. & nothing really good come out of it. dont be insecure; im sure you have nothing to be insecure about; by being insesure your being clingy.- do your own thing. if you spend to much time together it wont have the "umph" and it will get old and you wont notice the "special time" ( ie. like a table in your house, you see it EVERYDAY and you prob dont even notice its there anymore)
take time for youeself..b/c when i was insecure i did push my ex away, i would become so dependent on him & he took advantage of it.. he started to control me -bc he knew i wouldnt say anything- & then he cheated on me..
so give him some space- im sure he wants to be around you..but you both have your own lifes
hope it helps
2006-08-18 05:16:13 · answer #6 · answered by marissa 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Clinging and smothering isn't good. It will only cause fighting and hard feelings. A married couple I know is like that. The wife is so clingy that the husband feels claustrophobic. And I don't blame him. If my husband wants to go out somewhere with his friends and as long as it's not a bar or somewhere I wouldn't approve of, I don't mind. Guys needs time with their friends just like girls need time with their girlfriends. GIVE HIM SPACE!
2006-08-18 05:04:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
even in the strongest most loving relationships, people need their space to be themselves. You might be pushing him away by being too clingy and too needy. If you know that he loves you, then you don't have to worry. You can still show him that you love him, and a occasional hug and kiss don't hurt, but give him some space or you are going to loose him. Let him be who he is, and you be who you are... trust me in the future, you will want a little space and some "me" time
2006-08-18 05:03:47 · answer #8 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't smother him. Guys like their own lives too and don't want to feel tied down.
You ultimately could be pushing him aways and I would suggest you backing off a little and let him chase you. Chances are by you backing off, he will wonder what you are doing and make plans with you first......
The more we push a man, the more they back away.....
2006-08-18 05:01:06 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help.......he's drowning!!!! Your smothering him to death. Theres nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with someone but damn! Everybody needs their own space. Don't take it personal, he just want to breathe. You can't make him act like you because the way your acting is not normal. If you keep trying to keep him under you all the time, when he does break free, he might not want to come back. Work on you.
2006-08-18 05:09:21 · answer #10 · answered by Tee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋