I just went to a bridal shower last week. I bought a gift to the bride as a bridal shower gift, however, everyone else has brought the wedding gift instead. I plan to buy something from her registry for her as a wedding gift, and I'm not sure if I still need to give her some money when I go to the wedding just to cover for the food?
2006-08-18 04:33:41 · 16 answers · asked by shopaholic 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
the bride-to-be opened the gift at the bridal shower so I realized everyone, except me, brought the wedding gifts.
2006-08-18 04:46:53 · update #1
You need to bring a gift or money to both the shower and the wedding.
2006-08-18 04:38:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think answerers are getting confused; the cost of your gift should be equal to the amount that the couple is spending per person on food. If the cost per plate is $100 than your gift should be at least $100. But I think you know that already... YOU are doing the right thing. You give a shower gift *and* a wedding gift. You can shop the registry for a shower too, so that's probably what people did. You don't have to give cash for a wedding. A thoughtful gift is good too.
2006-08-18 05:45:07 · answer #2 · answered by J.S. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shower gifts and wedding gifts are two very different things. What I see has happened, though, is things that in the past would have been wedding gifts - people are now giving for showers. So the ante gets upped. No, you do not pay for the food at the wedding.
2006-08-18 10:34:16 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know that everyone else brought a "wedding gift"? Yes, you also purchase a wedding gift for the bride and groom, and etiquette says that you do not bring it to the reception, but either deliver or have it sent to the bride's house before or after the wedding. It's much nicer than money, because every time they use the XXXXXXXX, they'll think of you - but once they cash the check, your thoughtfulness isn't really recognized.
2006-08-18 04:40:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I know what you're talking about: a lot of people believe that the gift you give should be expensive enough to equal what your dinner and drinks cost.
Wedding guests give a gift or cash, not both. (The shower is a separate thing, and for that it's almost always a gift.) If you give cash or a check, put it in an envelope with a not or a card, and give it directly to the bride or groom at the reception.
When you're at the reception it's customary to tip the bartender if you go to the bar to order a drink, even if there's no charge for the drink.
2006-08-18 05:51:06 · answer #5 · answered by MailorderMaven 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you plan on getting something from her registry as a wedding gift then no, you don't have to bring money as well to the wedding...though it's a nice thought. Just get them something from the registry that's a little more than the cost of food...either way, I'm sure she's just happy you're attending.
2006-08-18 04:41:46 · answer #6 · answered by Jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A gift is what you're giving, whether it's money or something you purchased for the couple. It is appropriate to give a smaller gift at the shower, and the larger gift at the wedding.
However, if you give a physical gift, you are certainly not expected to pay for your food! This is a reception to celebrate their marriage, where they have invited you to be their guest. Many receptions do not include an open bar (which means you should bring money for your drinks if you're not sipping on soda).
2006-08-18 04:43:04 · answer #7 · answered by hopethathelps 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do not need to give money and a gift. Also, your gift should cost what you can comfortably afford and is appropriate to your relationship with the bride. Are you her sister?--then a twenty dollar plate is very cheap and insulting. Are you in grad school and a casual aquaintance?--then you do not need to break the bank.
2006-08-18 07:00:14 · answer #8 · answered by sq 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never heard of anyone having to pay for their own food at a wedding!
Do bring a gift to the wedding as you planned. That is all you're required to do...and you're not even REQUIRED to do that.
2006-08-18 04:41:15 · answer #9 · answered by KB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, the food should be covered, u might have to pay for ur drinks. If ur buying them a wedding gift, u don't need to give money.
2006-08-18 04:39:59 · answer #10 · answered by Jen S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋