Being a Single parent....?

Question

I do not have any children of my own yet, but how hard is it to be a single parent? I'd prefer to have a man by my side when I choose to go down that Rd but sometimes you dont always get what you want! Single Mothers & Fathers: tell me how you feel!!

Answer 1

I am a single mother, I got pregnant with someone I was with for 5 years while I was on birth control. He took off when he found out that I wanted to keep the baby. Even though I knew I would not have his support or money, I chose to have the baby. I never went after him for child support because HE wasn't worth it.
I love my daughter with all my heart and it is the best decision.
I gave up alot of freedom but that was my choice. Times can be tough, I sometimes struggle with money but it always works it self out-I would give up some things before my daughter went without. I am lucky, I have a great family and great friends who help out with watching her afterschool, etc.I also have two wonderful brothers who she can go to.
She isn't lacking for anything and I will never regret my decision and I still go out and have fun!
It's not easy at times but for me personally it was so worth it.
My daughter is 10 now and the older she gets-the better it gets~

Answer 2

My sister is a single parent by choice. The father wanted nothing to do with the child(it was his third and her first) and he ran off to mexico before he was born. She is much happier then having a guy in her life. She is a mild feminist and she can't stand to be around men for long periods of time. She's tried though, to down the drain engagements. But now she is perfectly happy with a great paying job and a loving babysitter (me). Her son gets everything he needs. We are trying to make sure he has more male influences though, the only problem is he is terribly afraid of men. So thats one thing we must work on.

Answer 3

It's the hardest thing in the world! My sister was a single parent (she just found out she is pregnant and she is getting married) after she divorced her first husband. She had a hard time paying the bills and while she only has the 2 children 3.5 days a week (she works the other 3.5 days), it's hard. It's best to have the emotional support of someone else.

Answer 4

Being a single father is probably one of my biggest joys in life. Though I only have my daughter every weekend, soon I will have her full time - and I'm looking forward to it. It can be as easy or as difficult as you make it out to be really! It can be a fun experience - if you cherish the time you have with your child, play an active role in their lives, learn with them, teach them, and let them teach you too! If you see raising a child as a chore, I would imagine it is MUCH more difficult to obtain happiness in not only your own life, but also for the child in their own life. Kids need to be kids, and they ALL grow up WAY too fast! Enjoy it while it lasts, and they will learn all they need to along the way. It would be MUCH easier with a partner by my side, but as you said, we don't always get what we want. And to that end - I firmly believe having no partner at all is MUCH better than having a bad partner. Take your time, choose carefully!

Answer 5

Don't be so selfish. Single parents normally go thru MUCH harder times raising a child than married couples. Plus there are tons of figures out there of the negative long term effects it can have on the children. Instead of thinking what YOU want, think what may be best for your future child. That kid deserves to have 2 loving parents, not 1 selfish mother.

ps. Not trying to attack you, but I was born to a single parent and know from experience how hard it can be. And yes any kid can turn out bad, but why increase the odds?

Answer 6

I've done it both ways...i raised my now 8 year old daughter all alone with parents help for 5 years...I did not date any man for 5 years as i just wanted to concertrate on working and raising my daughter.Then a few years ago...i meet a guy and now i have a 6 month old with him, i had to quit my job recently and now i am a full time mother to my son and daughter while he works 12 hour days. we are struggling now and it sucks.I love my kids a ton but i wish i had gotten married before i had a 2nd child and did it the right way , maybe i would have thought about it a lot more. have kids when you are married and finiacially stable, that is the best advice!!! oh yeah, and be finicially stable yourself before you get married, that way you always have a back up in case the guy decides to leave. never happened to me, but it did happen to 2 of my friends.

Answer 7

I am a mother of 2 beautiful girls. My first daughter I had at 17 I swore I was in love with her father but time and changes grew us apart and he became the biggest asshole this side of California. Me breaking up with caused drama and so he made our lives a living hell. I swore I would never have a kid again cause I was afraid that I would end up suffering. I mean this man was crazy when I started dated he threatened my dates he would find us and talk a whole lot of mess.

Then, I ended up finally meeting my second daughters father he is so good. But beleive me it took a while to find a good guy. Just be careful cause sometimes its not all peechy keen like people want it to be.

Especially these woman who want to trap men for some reason they think is called love. But love shouldnt be about trapping someone. It should be mutual.

Just be cautious with your choices.

Answer 8

I have been both a single mom and married mom. I really prefer being a married mom. being a single mom was so much harder. being married, the dad helps out where u can get peace of mind. I love my kids, but sometimes you need a break for a moment to think. and adult conversation also helps. If you can do it on your own, that's great, but being married or atleast with the father is sooooooo much better.

Answer 9

Well I have a child and he lives with his mom. He stays with me some of the time. Its very hard. You loose lots of freedom. There is no more just hanging out. No more coming and going as you please. Also you no are on your child's schedule. Up at all hours of the night. (mostly for the first few years ) You wont be able to have a career until your child starts school. Dealing with the childs sickness is also very stressful. There are times when you really really need help. Also money is often a problemYou will need time to yourself. Your life will be very very different. I love my child but my life is very different, I could not do it all alone.

Answer 10

It is better to have a stable and loving relationship with someone else when you bring a child into the world, but as you pointed out, this is not always the case. I have a beautiful little girl, but I can tell you, these last 3 years have been the hardest thing I could imagine. Don't get me wrong, it is well worth it. And it has beautiful moments, like when she climbs into my bed to cuddle with me. But I have someone new in my life, and he loves her just as much as I do. He is great with her, and she adores him. And, just knowing that he is there, just knowing there is someone else I can lean on for strength and support, makes all the difference in the world.