Question about 11 year old son?

Question

My 11 year old son seems to think what I tell him is an absolute joke.. Yesterday he got in trouble at school because the teacher asked him to do something and he gave her a nasty attitude. He is more concerned about his friends and involving himself with the drama and also bullying other kids then turning around and saying they started. When I give him a punishment he cries like a baby as if Im not suppose to punish him, he doesnt seem to understand when you do something wrong there are consequences that have to be paid, he thinks that shouldnt exist. I dont know what to do any more and the sad part is he is an honor roll student but hes more concerned in disrespecting his teachers being all up in everyones business and picking on kids and lying about it. What can I do to get it through to him that it has to stop and it actually stop, I feel like a broken record, Parents give me some input.

Just to add something he is only like this at school..

Answer 1

Be consistent with the punishments and maybe take some of his favorite things away if he continues his behavior and let him know if it continues it will only lengthen his punishment! I have a 12 yr old daughter who is always pushing it at home with my husband ( her step-father) and also with me her mouth is too much and she thinks she is grown, last weekend she was to have a friend spend the night and she mouthed off to my husband so I grounded her and made her call he friend and tell her she couldn't stay over and why! Kids believe that we're their enemy at that age, I remember feeling that way and because he is an honor roll student still doesn't give him a right to be disrespectful, I think it may be his group of friends that are swaying him to act out! Do you know his friends and their parents? I wish you all the luck tweens can be a pain in the rear but remember they're our babies still and wont always feel this way!

Answer 2

You state that your son doesn't seem to understand when you do something wrong there are consequenses that have to be paid but I TOTALLY DISAGREE with you. On the contrary, it sounds as if your son is very smart and very understanding.

There appears to be a problem at school. It doesn't sound like bordom, that usually is seen more as a "class clown" kind of behavior but could possibly be peer pressure. These days, peer pressure can be a major problem that youngsters have a hard time dealing with and/or even sharing with their parents. Often, being accepted as "one of the bunch" is worth the price that one pays for doing something wrong especially when the price is not that dear.

While I hope that you find the root problem to your son's attitude and behavior at school (addressing that would be the best solution) for now try making the price for bad behavior higher than it has been so that he's not as willing to do these things.

Just remember that Mothers often lose the respect of their boys by giving too many orders and then caving in when a boy is unwilling to cooperate. Mothers tend to use upset emotions or long lectures to control boys. This common mistake will quickly cause a boy to disconnect from her, and she will have even less control.

Set the limits, then stick to your guns. If he continues, make the price stiffer.

Good Luck!!! It sounds as though you've instilled some great qualities in your son as you said he is not like this at home.

Answer 3

Tough call.. you are the parent I suspect the "cries like a baby " when you try to punish him is his attempt to get you to give in and lower the punishment - DO NOT.. infact I would say "everytime you do that you get 1 less hour of TV" or whatever - thereby increasing the punishment for everytime he freaks out when you try to disapline him...

his friends are obviously part of the problem - even if they are not starting it, he is doing it to impress them...

is he being bullied by older sibling or other authority figure in his life?? its often been my experience that bullies are taking out their own frustrations on other kids

seek professional help because things will only get worse if you dont

be firm with punishments - maybe another school??

Answer 4

There could be a lot of different things going on there.
Is he just like this at school? If so then it sounds like maybe he is bored. You said that he is very bright.
If it is not just at school well that could be so many other things. He could be looking for attention. Has there been a break up in your family? Have you taken a new job and don't have as much time for him as you used to?
The extreme of this could be that your son has Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Which can be somewhat treated with medication and behavioural therapy.
Sit him down and talk to him. Or take him to a child therapist.

Answer 5

Well, do you ever think of going to the doctor to check with regards to his conditions? I hv a child of that character and at the moment, he is under the doctor's supervision and medication. This symptom is called hyperactive deficiency. He is not stupid instead he is a honor roll student but he causes nuisance in school and ran away from school during school hours!! Mind you, my son is only 7 years old!!! Just imagine the headaches that I have. My suggestion is mayb you ought to try the doctor. Have a lot of faith and try to be with him as often as u can.

Answer 6

well i can tell u this, this is a result of years of not doing the right thing on ur part. by a certain age, f u dont have a kid on ur page its hard to get them to wake up. it sounds like he's somewhat spoiled in that he cries when punished.(sort of like a toddler) i guess the way to get him back down to earth would be to impliment tougher policies. take away things that he really enjoys. at the same time good behavior must be rewarded. write up a "rules and regulations" paper. clearly outline what will be
rewarded and what will be punished and in what way. good luk

NOTICE im the only one who said to reward him for his good behavior. u cant always just punish. u have to give him an incentive

Answer 7

You must always remember, you are the parent.

It sounds like you have not taught him that there are consequences to his actions.

You need to be consistent when you must administer dicipline, even if it breaks your heart to do so. Otherwise, he will continue to behave in any way he decides. I am not suggesting corporal punishment. That is not necessary. Try taking some of his enjoyable passtimes away from him whenever he misbehaves.

This might be a good place to start looking for better advice than I can offer,

http://www.williamgladdenfoundation.org/cgi-bin/gx.cgi/AppLogic+FTContentServer?pagename=FaithHighway/10000/3000/901WI/delinquency&gclid=CM-Ml_bA6YYCFRZ2SQoduSmfCg

Have fun and be safe.

Answer 8

Sounds like you're off to a good start with the punishment. Now it's time to start taking away the things he loves... video games, bike/blades/skate board, school activities and especially the time he spends with those "nice" friends of his. Your son may be the problem but you ARE the solution!

Answer 9

Are you a single mom? Boys his age start to look to male role models for their examples. If he has a dad at home, then dad needs to take a more active role in disciplining him. If not, then perhaps a granddad, uncle, or othe male relative could spend more time with him. If none of this is possible, look into the Big Brother program.

Good luck.

Answer 10

i kno what u mean my lil bro is the same way all u can do is love him as much as possible and mabey get his meds bosted up and c if it is his friends at school that makes him act like that but i will pray for u andi hope this helps good luck