regarding my 4 year old daughter and 9 year old nephew. I overheard a converstaion between my four year old and my 9 year old daugters. My four year old was describing the nightmare she had last night. She said my nephew tried to make her sit on his peepee. My heart hit the floor as we have had issues with this nephew before showing my daughter his peepee. He was spoken to then by my husband and his mother. So now this comes out. I stayed calm and asked her if anything like this has happened in real life and she answered sometimes when i am at his house. again biting my lip and trying to stay calm I asked her what she said to him when he tried this. she said nothing i did not know what to say. i informed her that if it ever hapened again to tell him to stop and that you are going to tell me(mom) and then to come tell me right away because he has no right to do this to you. Then she added into it that he has also told her to drink the water out of his peepee.
2006-08-18 03:05:14 · 50 answers · asked by hopeless 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
First of all, you need to stop allowing your children to stay at the nephew's home overnight and never without your supervision. Second of all, you need to discuss this with the boy's parents and explain to her that there are issues and you are uncomfortable with your children being alone with their son.
There's a difference between being naturally curious about other sexes' body parts in childhood and what he is alleged to have done. If there is any sort of physical act, it means the boy has knowledge of it - whether he's being sexually abused or he's being exposed to sexual acts in the house or through seeing pornography.
If you believe that child is being sexually abused, you should call Child Protective Services and file an anonymous complaint.
2006-08-18 03:14:27 · answer #1 · answered by pynkbyrd 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ok first off, I am sorry you and your daughter are going thru this. Also I congratulate you for being so calm and getting the information without causing extra damage! You are a great mom and I just thought you should be told!
Ok, now for your nephew. There is a problem there. Did you ask your daughter if he made her sit on it or put her mouth on it? I really hope he did not! Also ask her if he has ever touched her or put his mouth on her anywhere and the details if she answers yes to any. If he has not yet, good but I would talk with his parents and keep your child away from him. No more over nights at all there and she must be with you if ya'll go there (at all times) and never have the chance to be alone with him. Your nephew needs counseling and to be taught it is unacceptable and wrong. That when older he could go to jail for it, actually he could get put into a juvenile jail at his age for something like that. Maybe that fact will scare him and make him stop... I dunno, Just keep your daughter away from him and all small children as well! You may also want to talk with your 9 year old daughter about any experiences she may have had in being around him.
It is possible that things have happened to him at some point, so that should be checked into also.
Good luck and let us know what happens. My prayers are with ya'll!
2006-08-18 03:46:54 · answer #2 · answered by Fantasy Kel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are serious then yeah...thats molesting. If there is penetration, then its rape.
It is sheer idiocy that would let you or any other parent to be around anyone that you know has a problem. Your nephew has got some major problems and that kid needs help. It is not a good thing that your daughter be around him in any way shape or form.
I was a victim of molestation by my step father, as was my brother. I was older and had no clue how to convey what was going on to my mother. My 3 year old brother did however, and as soon as my mother found out about it, it was all over with.
There is a huge difference between an adult doing this and a child doing this, but to continue to allow your daughter to have contact with this child is going to be damaging to your daughter. She will remember this, and she will be having issues later in life.
You need to have your daughter checked out by a doctor to see if any damage has occured. You need to take much bigger steps to keep her away from your nephew, and you REALLY need to have a major talk with that kids parents.
There is the potential that this kid has done things with other children, you don't know. But his parents really need to get him some help.
I apologize if I am coming accross overly dramatic and rude, that is not my intention, but you need to be looking at this situation much more seriously than what you are.
I hope things work out for you and your daughter.
2006-08-18 03:18:08 · answer #3 · answered by saintlyinnocents 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is very disturbing, and since it is family it makes it even worse. Since it is family the children should NEVER be left alone together, and as embarrassing as it is, the rest of the family that have children need to know so they can question their children. And seek counseling for them if needed. As for the 9 year old, he needs counseling and fast. He may be getting molested too, and he is just doing what has been done to him. Its just not right for a 9 year old to do something like that, much less with a 4 year old. You have done the right thing by going to his mother, but now she need to get her child some help. And with all the new information, it really sound like he has been messed with himself, or seeing things a 9 year old shouldn't be seeing.
2006-08-21 14:41:18 · answer #4 · answered by Just Karen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it ever happens again??!!!! Are you kidding? That boy should never be allowed in the same house with your children. EVER!! He needs professional help. This will only get worse - especially when the boy hits puberty. You need to tell his parents right away. You should also tell other family members who have young children. If he's doing this with your daughter, he could be doing it with someone else. This will probably cause problems within your family, but you must not let that stop you from doing what's right. This boy must be stopped, no matter what. Good luck!
2006-08-19 12:35:11 · answer #5 · answered by Tiss 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I say CASTRATE the 9-year old boy!
Seriously though, part of this is childhood curiosity. The age difference - 9 years vs. 4 - is what worries me.
Also remember the possibility that your daughter might be embellishing. That doesn't mean you should disregard what she's saying, but keep in mind that when kids elicit a response from their parents, they can sometimes "run with it." I find it unusual that she would divulge the details of a "nightmare" (if that's her word or your's, I can't tell) to her cousin. It seems odd that a 4-year old would say "I had a nightmare last night, and you were in it." Seems more likely that the girl would avoid the boy if it was a nightmare (or if it even happened).
In either case, I would just keep them separated, and leave it at that, for now.
2006-08-18 04:02:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Please! Keep your daughter away from this boy. Don't even consider letting her near him again!! Your daughter is old enough to rememer these incidents for the rest of her life. If you continue to permit her to be in his presence alone she is going to remember that too. Call children services so that they can interevene into that family and hopefully stop your nephew from doing this to other girls. Otherwise it's never going to stop. I've been there, and the advice I gave you is all in your daughter's best interest.
And YES!! it is molesting. What you descibed is not normal in no way, shape, or form. Your nephew needs serious help NOW!!
2006-08-18 03:17:50 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is. He's obviously troubled as this is not normal behavior. I'd call child protectve services. Something may have been done to him, and they will investigate this. It sucks having to call on a family member, but I think you have a responsibility too, before he does this to other children.
Oh, and obviously she should never be around him again. It was very brave of your daughter to tell you about this, and she needs to know she did the right thing in confiding in you. I was a little disturbed when I read that you said she should tell you if it happens again, because that implies that she'll be with him again.
2006-08-18 04:00:18 · answer #8 · answered by Melissa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well personally I would not let my daughter around this nephew with out adult supervision. If this has happened before than it sounds like he did not listen to the first talk you had with him. I would definately sit down with his parents and find out where this overly sexual behavior is coming from. He must be seeing this somewhere to be acting out like that. This nephew needs to really be sat down and talked to about these incidents and the reprocusions that could follow. He could carry this over to adult hood and then he would for sure get in trouble for molestation and I am sure that you would feel like you didn't do enough to help or protect your daughter if she were the victim a third time. Do not leave her alone with him EVER!!!!
2006-08-18 03:20:24 · answer #9 · answered by imjustguessing 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a question, too? After the first incident why would you allow your daughters to be near this nephew again especially alone and unsupervised? he is 9 years old and should know better than to take his willy out and show people. your nephew has issues and should not be aloud contact with your children again. his mother may want to find out where he learned this behavior as it appears that maybe he too has been molested.
2006-08-18 03:15:01 · answer #10 · answered by sctmoran 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋