What should I do?

Question

well I have been thinking about going to the army for while. I have always wanted to serve my country, but my fianse doesnt want me to go. I have tried telling her that this will benift us big cause all of the bills we have to pay, but she doesnt seem to want to listen to me. She doesnt want me to be away for a long time for basic training. I also told her that she should come with me when I get out of basic training, but she doesnt want to, she just wants to stay in lufkin. I would just up and leave but I would feel bad knowing that she doesnt support me and when I get back she wouldnt be their. So what should I do? up and leave and hope that she will still be their when i come back or Not leave at all? Help

Answer 1

Well relationship is based on Trust. Both of you should give and take. Its purely selfish of her for not understanding that you really want to do this for both your future. Maybe she's also scared that you might find someone else when you are in training. Or something bad might happen to you..I know a lot of your friends would probably tell you that you have to talk to her..Well, that is really what you need to do..Explain to her and whatever doubts she has, try to settle and calm all her fears..Hope all goes well:)

Answer 2

First of all I admire you for wanting to join the Army, but not for your reasons. Financial concern shouldn't be a reason. Duty to country or education would be a good reason, though. Now, is a horrible time to join the Army. In one year you will be in the middle of a war that we shouldn't be fighting. I wouldn't want you to go either. You might come home in a coffin. Here is a plan. Go to college....wait until all of this Iraqi crap settles down and if you still want to join the service, go in as an officer! Also you could join the National Guard or Homeland security. There are many options especially in Texas. If you go to college, join ROTC. Don't go run and sign up....the chances of your being packed up to fight are too great. I have two sons in the Navy and the US has tried to get them to go "help" the Army on land. They have both been in Bahrain. I wouldn't wish this on any mother or girlfriend. Find another way to make your dreams come true for the time being. God Bless YOU!

Answer 3

Looks like you are between a rock and a hard spot. You are contemplating to leave the devil you know for the angle you dont know. we all land in such situations at some point in our lives.

This is a battle of will. should she support tha man she loves? Should you stay behind and give in to her demands to show your love for her?

It all depends what YOU really want, and that is to satisfy your innermost ambitions to serve your country. You are assuming that she wont be there when you return, I believe that you have noticed some bad signs in the relationship.

Now, there is no guarantee that the relationship will last forever. And if you stay behind, you will silently blame her and this will burn you.

This issue is about you and what you want, so go join the army and pray that that she will be there when you return, but be prepared for the worst.

This is a decision you'll have to make on your own.

Goodluck

Answer 4

I say go. You're fiance will simply have to make the decision to support you or not. And if she doesn't support you in this big dream of yours, what is that saying about her? She is putting her desires before yours, which isn't fair in any way. There should be a way for you two to compromise. Try telling her about all the positives that can come out of joining the army. Like the medical benefits, the housing allowances, the chance to travel once you two are officially married. I think that it is very commendable that you want to serve your country. Good luck and if your fiance isn't willing to see that this decision is much bigger than her, you deserve much better.

Answer 5

It's a noble sentiment to serve your country. But maybe your fiancee is worried that you will get killed or injured. Or she is worried that you or she will meet someone else. Are there any other government jobs that you could do that don't require you to leave the city you are in?Try exploring those jobs first. She's just worried and is not sure if things will work out. She will also miss you a lot. Don't leave right away. Try talking with her and come up with some alternatives. Good luck and I hope you have a happy ending.

Answer 6

If you want to join the army for financial reason don't. You should only join if you want to go to war. Too many people join the military for all the wrong reasons. then they cry when they have to do what the military is for go to war and protect the country. find another way to pay your bills. if you like organize groups with benefits join your local police force or the sheriff department or become a fireman. But don't go to the military unless you are ready to fight and defend the United States of America

Answer 7

This is a hard one, well all i can say is follow your heart... I understand you want to serve your country.. but i can also see where she is comming from.
You join and your going to be gone all the time, and a lot of relationships dont work that way. She just dont want to loose you.
But also i think that if she loved you she would suport you in whatever you decided, i mean its not like your going away forever, you said that she can come with you wherever your baced at... so i don't know... if you want this bad, tell her that she either go with you, or your going to have to part with her... she will make a choice either go with, or not. and if she loves you she will go with.

Answer 8

She loves you. She needs you. She wants you. Tell her you love her, need her & want her too. She'll be delighted to hear that & assured of your feelings for her.

Then proceed to tell her nicely that you want to be responsible for her. Earn money for the better of both of you. Besides, you like to serve your country.

Don't force your opinions on her. Just strongly suggest that you think it's the best for both of you. She'll gradually accept or suggest alternative plans. Besides, it's a relationship involving BOTH of you. Involve BOTH of you in the plans that both of you are discussing. Each of you have to give in abit & meet in between. So, both of you won't feel short-changed & be happy that both of you are working out on the issues together, rather than sticking to one's idea, forsaking the other's feelings & opinions.

If you insist on going & she insists on staying, then both of you must discuss whether both of you can live with this arrangement & wait for each other. Or leave & seek someone more suitable & supportive. And be happy for each other should one seek a suitable partner.

Answer 9

look, the armed forces don;t really pay that well. Consider how you'd be supporting your g/f if you went to Iraq and got your leg or arm blown off or worse. Stay home, get an education, get a good job.

Answer 10

Serve your country by helping the living here. It's a no brainier,. People here are sent to die elsewhere, and veteran of those wars are being ignored by Washington as health benefits for them are being systematically wiped out.

Don't be a sucker. Work here and contribute to those in need.