Sometimes i caught him lying to me or hiding something from me like e-mails and stuff. He won't tell me bout it unless i confronted him and ask things. Any way, i know he have to be on the net always because of his job in a software company as a way of communication with their co-worker and clients here and abroad, but i just don't like the thought of not telling me his other e-mail accts specially when there are a couple of ladies on his contacts.
Does that make me a worst girlfriend? Should i just give him that freedom to keep somethings just by himself?
Can anybody tell me the right things for me to do? Thanks.
2006-08-18 01:51:10 · 9 answers · asked by chai 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Before you "settle down" with him, you have to make sure that you totally trust him - sounds to me like you have some issues there..Is it that he doesn't share enough with you, or do you genuinely not trust him. You mentioned women on his contacts - could it be that's just contacts from work?
Sit down & have a heart to heart with him...air out your feelings and issues before you go any further...if you don't have trust, you don't have anything...
Good Luck, Marilyn
2006-08-18 01:57:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you have these questions, you are not ready for settling down with him. Trust is everything in a relationship. There is no reason he should be lying to you, or hiding any e-mails. That only means that there is something there that he does not want you to see, and that's a very poor beginning for thinking of living together. Honesty also seems to be a problem. If these e-mails are work related, couldn't he be honest and have the trust enough to tell you so? You could " give him that freedom to keep somethings just by himself" but how will that improve you two as a couple? What happened to love, commitment, honesty, trust and sharing?
Step back for a minute and think of the things that this relationship seems to be missing. Are you really ready to settle down with him?
2006-08-18 02:25:38 · answer #2 · answered by Tweek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it's an open relationship, he shouldn't have to lie to you. But apparently he knows you better than you know him. You're insecure about the various types of communication. Ask yourself this, will he know every intricate detail about your life whether personal or professional? If you guys are talking about settling down you two need to really talk about some things. Expectations and similarities and things that get on your nerves. He's going to need his freedom in order to be a man and for you two to have a healthy relationship. And if there are doubts now, then there will be doubts later.
2006-08-18 02:00:57 · answer #3 · answered by ksfinney17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok here's the thing. you have to set the rules. he probably doesn't think e-mailing, chatting, or whatever on the internet is "cheating". you have to tell him that you do consider it cheating and if he respects you then he'll stop it.
in the old days before the internet what if you were at a party and he is chatting it up with woman and getting their numbers (e-mail). that is cheating. same thing with internet chatting. he shouldn't be doing it while he's with you. the fact that he's hiding it doesn't necissarly mean that he's litterly cheating but he does feel guilty otherwise you wouldn't have to catch him. it also could be a sign of a larger problem. you have to figure it out before you marry this guy.
2006-08-18 02:03:50 · answer #4 · answered by Fenris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay well I was in your shoes before and had the same thoughts. I decided to just trust him and here I am, we have have been married for seven years I have a four year old and I am 4 months pregnant and he is cheating on me. I just found out and I wish I had left him when I was in your shoes. So it is your decision. Listen to your head not your heart. Your heart can be a very tricky thing that will get you into alot of heartache. Good luck:)
2006-08-18 01:59:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Written from my heart sealed with my kiss
These words will describe our eternal bliss
And when I lay my head to sleep on my bed
You are the thoughts wondering in my head
When my eyes shut I see an image of you
Nothing can distract for you are my only view
I wish you were here, holding me so tight
Yet instead I will be dreaming of you tonight
I dream of the future that together we'll share
The laughs and cries we'll see in this love affair
I count down the minutes until I see you next
I just want to run away with you into the sunset
I've fallen in something that is magical and deep
A picture drawn inside my heart forever to keep
An essay written in words the describe this love
A prayer to the angels thanking them up above
I look into your eyes and I see forever right there
I feel it in your touch as you brush through my hair
And each time we kiss I feel the love deep down
You've changed my life and turned my world around
2006-08-18 02:01:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you to think about what makes a good boy friend and girl friend. Hiddeness is not part of the definition. Girl friends and boy friends on the side are not part of the equation. His behavior has nothing to do with whether you are or are not a good girl friend. If you believe that is NOT true, you are going to be searching inside yourself for the reasons he's misbehaving. I would hope you would require honesty, openness, trust, and respect for yourself and for him.
2006-08-18 02:25:55 · answer #7 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The right thing for you to do is....dump him...especially if you are questioning his actions now.
2006-08-18 01:58:31 · answer #8 · answered by mrfoxhorn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get rid of the bum.
2006-08-18 02:22:04 · answer #9 · answered by acid tongue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋