Why cant she see me?

Question

Me and this girl have been best friends for ages. We have traveled the world to see eachother and always have a great time together. We go to the movies. We do everything together. Her Parents love me. I have made every effort known to hummanity. If we were older I would ask her to marry me!! Let me add that we r both 18. I want to be able to support her before I decide to marry her She has had several crushes and the occasional bf but none last. I love her more than anything in the world but she doesn't seem to notice. She says she loves me as a brother but I cant live with that. When I'm with her there is nothing more wonderful. I rather endure anythng then have her suffer 4 1 sc. Im tired of being the friend. I make her laugh, smile, cry etc... but she never lets me in her heart. This girl is the joy of my life but to her i am only a "friend". I've tried telling her but to no avail. Am i selfish to want more? What can i do? Am i being used? Any advice would help.

Answer 1

maybe she is blind

Answer 2

maybe she takes you too much for granted... you have always been there for her. You could find out by taking your distance and see how she reacts.
What nobody of us can do is make someone else fall in love with us... unfortunately:((
If she doesn't love you back you will have to understand and suffer from the consequences, it may take a long while before you get over her, and there is a chance that you will always think about her for the rest of your life, but you WILL eventually find someone else who loves you back, deserves all your love and efforts and together you will be happy. You might not be able to understand this just now, but time does wonders.
When you are 18 you can't wait but by the time you turn 28 you will have made so many experiences, and this girl will just be one of them, a beautiful experience to be remebered.
Hopefully she will start loving you back and save you from being heartbroken, but I have the feeling that she won't, and therefor advise you to start picturing your life without her.

Answer 3

Difficult isn't it? Emotions. We expect others to think as we do and feel as we do. Where is the individual self in that expectation. You are at an age where attachment is passionate and all consuming. The danger is we expect everyone we come into contact with to 'belong' to us (me) and cannot understand why they are not responding to us as we expect them to. We have no right to expect others to behave according to our emotions. Be grateful for the relationship. Hopefully, one day, 40 years later you can say, we never got married but she is still my best friend and will always love her. Even if you are married and have such thoughts don't beat yourself or stop praying, it is human/natural. Love has a power of it's own far above hate. So when you love deeply - sex is secondary - the continued relationship is what matters. The pain will lessen as time goes by. Do not idolize her. She too is human. Good luck.

Answer 4

You can't make someone feel something for you, there is either mutual chemestry or there isn't. There could also be the fact that she doesn't want to risk the friendship to try to find out if there could be something special between the two of you.

You've mentioned that you've "tried" to tell her, why don't you tell her how you feel about her. The reality is that she may not feel anything for you outside of friendship, but at least you can look back without regrets of not ever telling her how you feel.

Also let her know that the friendship you have is important to you and that trying to see if something special could possibily exist would not affect that.

Just be prepared to move on in the even that she doesn't feel anything for you outside of friendship, once you do, the fact that you aren't there, may have her missing you and may make her realize what you mean to her.

Answer 5

It's hard, I know but all you can do is tell her how you feel. To push it will do you no good.

To be honest, I would tell her that you have feelings for her and that being "friends" isn't all that you want and that you would like to try having a relationship. You have to understand though, there is NO GOING BACK. If you do this, either she will or she won't. If she won't, you are done. I had a similar situation with my wife when we were teenagers. I even told her first husband that I didn't want to hang out with them anymore because I had feelings for her. We did end up together, but that was way later and a million to one.

You have to decide if you are willing to let her go if she doesn't want a relationship or if you are willing to just suffer in silence. I absolutely was letting her go and was at peace with it if she didn't want to be with me. Suffering isn't fair to you.

Good luck!

Answer 6

She loves you as a brother. Be grateful for that, and be her 'best friend'.

You said that if you were older, you would ask her to marry you. Well the fact is that you aren't older, and she perhaps isn't ready to be forced into a commitment just yet.

Are you selfish to want more? Probably not! Are you being used? It doesn't say too much for your relationship if you have doubts as to whether she is using you!

Be the best of friends... Marriages have to start somewhere!!!

Answer 7

She may have thought of the two of you becoming a couple but she's probably afraid that if the two of you do become boyfriend and girlfriend that she may lose your friendship. It is not selfish that you want to be a part of her life, but you should talk to her about how you feel. Just sit her down and talk to her about how you really feel about her. You never know if she may feel the same way about you for a long time as well. But there is only one way to find out; and that would be to talk to her about it and ask her if she thinks the same of you.

Good luck =)

Answer 8

How many times are you going to ask this question?

She sees you; she just doesn't love you the same way that you love her. And you can't make her love you as more than a friend if it's just not there. You've told her, she knows how you feel, now drop it before she distances herself from you.

I'm sorry that this is not what you want to hear, but it's probably the truth. I had a male friend who felt this way about me - he was a great friend, we spent a lot of time together and when we weren't together, we were on the phone. He was always good to me, and I was good to him. When his friendship developed into infatuation (like yours seems to have) and he wouldn't stop trying to make me his love, I had to distance myself from him. I couldn't bear hurting him every time he tried to make me feel something I just couldn't feel for him. Not everyone you love is going to love you back, even under the best of circumstances.

Answer 9

Let her have her boyfriends and crushes. Even if she got married, it would probably end and she will see the error of her ways and want to be with you. She's young and is still trying to find herself and what she wants out of life. Just be her very best friend.

Answer 10

self assurance. it is all you desire. once you've the opt to make a flow, then do merely it. it is that undemanding. merely imagine about it, you'll sense sh*tty in case you dont afterwards, and also you actually have no longer something to lose. believe me, after your first time, it is going to likely be person-friendly peasy the subsequent time. so merely GET IT OVER WITH. haha. yet another ingredient, it may be really too early for you in any case, middle college nd all. yet childrens willl be childrens. provide it a bypass and make the finest of it;)

Answer 11

You seem like such a nice guy. Are you trying too hard? Maybee she knows but it isn't mutual and she still loves you as a friend so will not acnowledge what you are trying to say.

I think you need to have a heart to heart.