Am I too honest?

Question

my brother got mad at me yesterday. he was singing a song and i asked him to stop because it was annoying. then he was telling me about his friends' kids, and i listened, but then i got up to go to the bathroom, he asked if he was boring me, and i jokingly said 'yes'

later, he said 'has anyone ever told you that honesty is not always the best policy'

he's not stuck up or insecure, he wouldnt say something like that to me if i hadnt geniuinly hurt his feelings,
which makes me think that maybe i make more comments then i think i do. i always thought i was a nice person, even if i do usually speak my mind. but maybe im going too far with it?

How can I tell if my honesty is hurting people? its not like im down right rude. i dont go around telling people theyre ugly or fat. I dont make fun of people. so what am i doing wrong?

i'd been having a really down week, and he was lecturing me on depression too, which i dont think he understands.

as for the other things, i was listening, i wasnt trying to tune him out, its just that i was depressed about my own things, and i guess i came off as rude to him. i didnt mean to

how can i keep from doing this in the future? when i feel like crap, but need to be sympathetic to others as well.

thanks for all the help!!

Answer 1

There is no such thing as "too honest". Honesty in the classic form
is "One who speaks the truth, even to their own hurt". A wise person
uses discretion when employing their honesty about another. We should never use the "truth" as a weapon against someone. On the other hand if we truly love someone we may have to speak a truth to them that may "hurt their feelings" but be instrumental in their growth or maturity. Such honesty is costly yet necessary.
The Bible says to "speak the truth in love". If we derive pleasure from the pain of another person as a result of our "honesty" then
our "honesty" becomes hypocrisy,

Answer 2

Reminds me of that cell phone commercial where the little cheerleader says, "you're not conceited, you are just honest." (I love that commercial. Every line is hilarious). I'm sorry to say, you weren't necessarily being honest so much as rude. You could have been a little gentler, but I suspect you were doing what brothers and sisters do, and that is deliberately annoying each other. It's all part of growing up, so don't be too hard on yourself. I personally think you should never stop someone from singing. It's one of life's little pleasures.

Answer 3

Honesty is the best personality which i appreciate a lot, because there are so many people who are not being honest everyday. i hate people who lie to me, that's why i never lie to anyone else, in order to achieve that, i don't talk to people unless they talk to me. being honest is always ok, becasue you are telling a fact, i don't go aroung telling people they are ugly or fat, but if someone ugly comes to me and ask me if he's ugly, i will say yes. in your situation, you told your brother's singing is annoying, if it really did annoyed you, then you have done nothing wrong by saying that, it's his problem who can't accept criticism. it's not like i don't care other people's feeling by being honest, but think what this world will be if everyone is flattering each other just because they don't want to hurt other's feeling. when someone admire something about me and i know he/she is telling a lie (which i am very good at), i will hate him/her forever

Answer 4

Yen12rs already gave you the answer. Just think about it. In detail, we many a times speak our mind out. Bit, philosophical. Mind always changes. The other person gets the record of your voice and he carries it for some time. The problem here is, What are you bored at? the person, his speaking? or to your self. The reality is you are bored at yourself by not being able to hear interestingly. Now say that and be honestly when somebody asks you are you bored? the answer should be "Yes I am bored at myself not at you or your talk". When you say only "Yes" he gets it as you are bored at him and his talk. It is as good as saying "You are a bore" that is not a honest comment either. Your mind is what is getting bored.

Answer 5

Try looking at the person's face and listening to their voice before you say anything. You'll recognize whether they can stand the truth or not. And think of every comment you bite back or tone down as a small deposit in the Bank of Karma for *you*.

Answer 6

Written from my heart sealed with my kiss
These words will describe our eternal bliss
And when I lay my head to sleep on my bed
You are the thoughts wondering in my head

When my eyes shut I see an image of you
Nothing can distract for you are my only view
I wish you were here, holding me so tight
Yet instead I will be dreaming of you tonight

I dream of the future that together we'll share
The laughs and cries we'll see in this love affair
I count down the minutes until I see you next
I just want to run away with you into the sunset

I've fallen in something that is magical and deep
A picture drawn inside my heart forever to keep
An essay written in words the describe this love
A prayer to the angels thanking them up above

I look into your eyes and I see forever right there
I feel it in your touch as you brush through my hair
And each time we kiss I feel the love deep down
You've changed my life and turned my world around

Answer 7

You have to balance how you react with others. People react differently, and some should toughen their skin. Discuss the issue with people most important to you. Communication is 2 way.( between 2 people). So talk about it. Maybe you should tone down or maybe he should toughen up.

Answer 8

You sound a lot like my mom. The problem is that you don't think of others also. You think of yourself. How would you feel if someone told you that you were annoying, and that they didn't care what you were talking about, when you were very passionate about your subject? Stupid right? You have to think of how others feel. What you described is you being VERY rude, although you might not think it.

Answer 9

Awe, not to worry, your brother must learn to accept good and bad criticism while he entertains. The good helps his confidence and the bad helps him find new ways of expression which forces him to practice more, and get better. Good question have a great day!

Answer 10

He's your brother, You are allowed to be mean to him. LOL
but he has a point. , if you said that stuff to your friends, you probably do hurt their feelings.
Honesty isnt always the best choice if its hurtful.