ok I dated this guy a few years ago but things didnt work out and we split. now it seems every time we talk it turns into sex. well I am supposed to meet up with him later today and he is expecting sex as always. Dont get me wrong it is great with him but the bad thing is I still have strong feelings for him. How do I go about this without freaking him out? Its supposed to be "no strings attached" when we do what we do I mean we go a couple days without talking afterword and that just kills me. So what do I do?
2006-08-18 01:03:09 · 17 answers · asked by blueyedattitiude 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This doesn't feel right. Sex is supposed to be reserved for someone that you care about and someone that cares about you. Obviously, only one person is doing the caring here and that's you. So you shouldn't be having sex with him unless he cares about you. From what you said in your question, it looks like you have strong feelings for him and it also looks like he said "no strings attached." Tell him how you feel about him. He may feel the same way or he may not but still I would encourage you to tell him. Even if he doesn't feel like that about you, you will have gotten that clear and off your chest. You can now stop the sex. Anyway, I can only give you so much advice. The decision is always up to you. It has been and will always be. So before you make your decision. Think: would you like to be having sex with a man that does not care about you? Would you like to be giving your body away to fire to burn each part of your heart away everyday? Would you like to have a child for man that may run away from you? There a whole lot questions to this. I hope you make the right decision that's good for you. Good luck.
2006-08-18 01:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by The Chancellor™ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel really bad for you. The worst kind of pain is when you love someone that doesnt love you back.
He made himself clear to you that he does not want any strings attached so if you tell him you have feelings, do not expect a good reaction from him.
If the sex is worth the pain it brings to you than continue with this situation and hide your feelings inside. All you can do is hope that one day he will magically somehow get feelings back for you.
If you have too much selfrespect to put yourself through pain over and over then you have one choice. You need to get out of this. Immediately. Save yourself while you still can. Just turn around walk away and never look back.
The choice is (always) yours.
2006-08-18 08:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is a player who likes your company but doesn't want to commit.
He probabely sees other women, too, and maybe he is even in love with someone he can't get... so there are you, good enough for some sex sometimes, hoping for more but unable to win his heart because he doesn't open it for you.
The choice is to be made by yourself: continue having just sex secretly hoping that you might get back together (while suffering from not enough emotional attention) OR: stop seeing him this way, explain that you either want the "whole package" or nothing at all... (and protect yourself from getting hurt even more).
Wish you all the best!
2006-08-18 08:20:55 · answer #3 · answered by julesloveslife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's using you. He has not other interest except for sex and you have feelings for him. This is a problem and if he freaks out...oh well. Tell him.
Oh, BTW, is that how it goes when guys want to get some. Booty call it up? Thought there would be a classier way to do it.
2006-08-18 08:13:07 · answer #4 · answered by Master Kenobi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have feeling for him stay with him but, cut back on the sex. Only have sex when you want to have it with him and not when ever he wants to have sex. It also sounds like he is using you. Maybe you should find out if he has another girl decides you and if he does dump him and move on with your life. Find some one that treats you like the woman you are and treats you nice. You can do better I think then him. he should treat you out to dinner and a movie and not to excpect any thing in return.
2006-08-18 08:32:40 · answer #5 · answered by yoda_0072002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you need to look at your own question. Do you really want to be called for just a "booty" call when it means no more to him than that? This is only continuing your strong feelings for him, and you are the one being hurt by it.
He has no ties to you, no commitment, no emotional feelings for you, just "booty". Meanwhile, you are being emotionally held hostage every time he calls with this "booty" call. He can continue this arrangement for as long as you are willing.
Why not spend your time and energy (emotions), and "booty" on someone who really cares and can make a commitment to you.
2006-08-18 08:19:55 · answer #6 · answered by Tweek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You broke up for a reason. Is the reason still valid or have the persons grown, matured, changed?
Do you really want to try to re-heat the leftovers from last years Bar Be Cue?
Or, are you now a "material girl" who will do anything for bling-bling, and the "but, I still have feelings for him, after the bruises heal!" is something you simply forgot about?
2006-08-18 08:11:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is just using you for the sex. your feelings for him may be coming from what the two of you do, but nothing is going to materialize from it. tell him no and move on to someone that wants to be with you for more than just the sex. believe there are guys out there that care about more than sex.
2006-08-18 08:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by spyder44052 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u cant have a booty call with someone you care about.
you know that!
its not worth the grief and you know that too!
chill out, tell him the truth if you want but be prepared for the option that it may be all over or that it may start again.
you know u r better than that. its gonna be hard but maybe its time to move on or make a move.
all the best
2006-08-18 09:50:19 · answer #9 · answered by Susie Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that means ur in love with him and u love the way he treats u
so kep going one step aheadto tie the knot
2006-08-18 08:30:42 · answer #10 · answered by corona 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋