I'm getting married in three months. I'm having my sister and and my best friend as bridesmaids
I'm not expecting them to be as excited about it as I am but just to show a bit of enthusiasm like I showed when I was bridesmaid for their weddings.
we had a dress fitting a week ago and my friend sat there and left after ten minutes
and my sister makes out that she's happy about it but makes snide comments about my dress and how I look in it etc
My fiance says ignore them and just enjoy planning my wedding but it's hard.
my friend seems to have distanced herself from me and it hurts me.
I cant take much more of this.
Planning a wedding is stressful enough without this
what do you people think?????
i need some advice on this please
2006-08-18 00:56:36 · 21 answers · asked by melissa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
sounds like they have an issue - maybe its jealousy maybe its nothing at all to do with you or your wedding.
You need to ask them what is wrong and if they actually want to do it - maybe one wants to pull out but doesnt want to upset you.
I am having same difficulty - 1 has now pulled out, 1 never tells me what she wants to wear and the other is more excited than I am.
2006-08-18 01:01:56 · answer #1 · answered by schmushe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think it's time to have a little talk with the ladies in question.
First-the sister, Please let her know the snide comments are very hurtful, and explain that you are stressed enough, could she back off a little. If she has nothing nice to say, then keep it to herself. Tell her that you are willing to listen to her advice, suggestions, and that you love her, but you need her to be there for you. Have a heart with her, she maybe filling lefted out for some reason, so ask her what's up...something is going on for her to act that way, so, please sit her down and listen to what she has to say..
Your friend-she is distancing her, lots of friends go through with this. Weddings take a toll on families and friends. Invite her to lunch, just you and her, don't talk about the wedding the whole time. Ask her what's she up too, and things that are important to you both. She's proably missing you! The talks and doing things together, just you and her. So, please make the time to see her, and check up with each other.
You do have a wedding to plan! People do understand to a point, but if they haven't planned one they don't realize exactly what all the problems and stress you are going through. Have you ever seen the show Bridezilla? I think everybody should watch it at least once. Bridesmaid included...so they can be thankful that their bride is not like that. Some brides do ask for the impossible.
I am one that believe the wedding should only be for the bride and groom, so whatever they want-is how it goes-if they want to be naked on the snow covered mountain top. But I have seen weddings tear up families and friends, and that's right. So, please remember you maybe stressed to the limits, and so tried that you could drop in your tracks but---people do have feelings too.
I am not saying to bend over backwards and kiss anyones butt, but remember when you are asking for things to be done, that they have their own lives to live too. This is most special day, and I would love for everyone to be happy! So some making up is needed.
Sister and friends need to know how much you appreciate them and their hard work, but the main thing is to remind them how much you LOVE them. And you have forgotten them....
Have the wedding of your dreams!
God bless us all......................
2006-08-18 12:27:24 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's why it's a good idea to have a small bridal party. People get jealous, envious, angry and emotional around weddings - do not take it personally, but for those who are remaining single it is a strangely difficult time because they feel as though they're being left behind. Everybody wants to experience the thrill of a wedding day.
When I got married a year ago, we had only a maid of honor and best man stand up in the wedding. I could've invited friends to be in it, but I knew it would be hard fitting everybody in the same dress and having everybody agree what to do...so I just made it simple and said bm and moh and that's it. It worked out really great because of that. One of my friends, who was 31 at the time, was truly unhappy about my wedding. I was only 27 and she felt she should've gotten married first. I just ignored it.
The best thing I can tell you is to relax, enjoy your upcoming day and don't let them get to you. Once the wedding arrives, they will perk up and realize you're doing something great.
Best wishes!!
2006-08-18 09:14:11 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are your friend and sister jealous of you for some reason? Are you going to marry someone that maybe they would like to? I am sure that once they get a little bubbly in them at the reception and see the attention placed on them along with you that it will all seem worth it to them. I wanted to say to just change bridesmaids, but as I think about it I don't think that would be nice on your part. You can always try to talk to them. You did say your best friend and sister. Best friends are supposed to be there for you to open up to. Good luck. I hope everything goes well for you.
2006-08-18 08:09:52 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them if they cant "act" happy then, you will have to find someone else to take their place. What cant they be happy about, and they owe it to you since u were in their wedding. Are u having a bigger or better wedding than them? Could they be jealous? Planning a wedding is hard enough without people being rude or uncorporating. Good Luck and congrats....Do not let others get to u. Enjoy this time....
2006-08-18 08:10:07 · answer #5 · answered by misstikal311 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them what you told us. That you don't expect them to be as excited as you are, but they could show a little enthusiasm. Ask them if they really want to be part of the wedding. Let them know they are putting additional stress on you.
Take your fiance's advice after this. You will have done what you can, so relax and enjoy.
Best wishes on your wedding.
2006-08-22 04:08:07 · answer #6 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out what exactly their problem is. This might not be related to you and your wedding at all. There could be problems at work or at home or with the kids if they have any. Once you know what exactly the problem is, you can solve it and move forward with the wedding planning. Sit down and talk with each of them, maybe separately, so that they each have time to air their issues and concerns. Hopefully, you'll be able to get to the bottom of this shortly and move forward with more happy stuff. Best of luck and congratulations on your engagement.
2006-08-18 19:05:33 · answer #7 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't allow these people to continue to ruin what is a joyful time.
Your future husband is right. And think about how lucky you are to have such a supportive and encouraging man with whom you will be sharing your life!
There are a lot of petty jealousies that crop up during wedding planning. Sounds like your sister and bridesmaid are envious of all that you have.
Whatever else happens focus on yourself and your fiance. It is your time to shine.
2006-08-18 10:02:30 · answer #8 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh so simple!
It is YOUR wedding, and Sun Tsu, in "The Art of War" did comment that it is easy to find soldiers, but, wise generals are rare!
Advise them to get with the plan, be happier about it all, or they will be replaced by some of the very exuberant High School beauty queens! Just post an ad at the high school!
They both sound like very miserable people, anyway! Hedonistic and very selfish, they let you be there for them at their unique experiences, but, if they aren't the "Center of Attention" they want to moan and piss about it?
Time for them to imbibe the secret Ex-lax milkshakes!
2006-08-18 08:04:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like they are having wedding envy. I know you said both of them have been married but they can still be jealous. I would sit down and talk to both of them. Tell them that if they cannot be supportive then you will replace them. I would definitely expect my best friend and especially my sister to be happy and supportive. Good Luck!!!
2006-08-18 09:59:01 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they are just jealous. That is really mean, you need people around you who are happy for you and will help you, planning a wedding is supposed to be fun!!!!!!!!!!! When i got married i was soooooo stressed, i couldn't have got through it if i didn't have the support from those around me. Tell them to pull there socks up, you don't need this.
2006-08-18 08:17:41 · answer #11 · answered by honey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋