my sisters husband has said he wants custody of the children, can he get it?

Question

they are no longer living together(we are in uk by the way), he is named as father on both of the birth certificates. Things are getting really messy now, and they are beginning to hate each other(yes i know this is terrible for the children).
He has now said that he feels she is too "twisted" to be looking after the children, and he wants them.
He has been active in the girls lives, he has them to stay one night a week, he always pays maintenance, but he is still living with parents.
I have told my sister that i doubt anyone would give him custody, but she is worried that if she lets him have the girls(aged 2and 4) this weekend he might not bring them back!

could he do this, and if he does just take the girls, can she prevent him legally?
sorry if i seem ignorant but i do not know much about this!

Answer 1

To be honest, the courts will usually grant custordy to the mother and be on the site of the mother- it may be argued that isn;t fair but it is just the way things are 90%of the time in the UK-, because usually they are the custodial parent. They are married and they are biologically his children-so- he does have a legal right to *access* because he has parental responsibility in legal terminology.

He could go through a legal process for custordy but any solicitor worth their salt will tell him that this is a)expensive b)unlikely to result in anything other than joint custordy at best c) likely to lead to animosity that will cause distress to the children.

As for her current dialemma of whether he will not bring the children back from access visits. If he has any common sense whatsoever, he will not jepordise his chances of continuing contact with his children by doing something this overwhelmingly stupid. It's unlikely that he would succeed in vanishing with them unless he has their passports anyway.

I think that your sister may benefit from contacting the family mediation service which the courts or her legal advisor may already have put her in contact with. These are people who can help to mediate in cases of divorce or separation where children are involved.

http://www.nfm.u-net.com/
you can also contact them here.

It is far far more preferable that both of them sort this out without the courts becoming involved, this can only be damaging to the children and the sanity and bank accounts of everybody involved. Mediation is worth a try and could possibly assist in a peaceful and satisfactory outcome for all.

Your doing the right thing in being supportive, keep it up and stay happy and positive

S
x

Answer 2

Let me tell you a story.... I live in the UK too.... my husband and I split up, he left our marital home which I still reside in and left the children with me. We both sought legal advice and separated legally... this was my decision, he didn't want the relationship to end. Anyway, I didn't make any move for residency of the children, just thought I would do the decent thing and let him see them when he wanted whenever he wanted, nothing set in stone. After all children need their father too.

My youngest was just a few weeks old when one day he took them for a weekend, and he never brought them back, he then got a temporary residency order and now I'm without my children... this is perfectly legal by the way. It's not kidnap and he is perfectly entitled to do this as was I. Now we are having to go to court in September of which I've been told that I'm assured of winning residency of them.

My youngest was practically ripped from my breast, I was still breast feeding at night, she was only 4 weeks old. I was on maternity leave at the time and I made the decision to return to work, or quite frankly I probably would have killed myself.

So, she needs to get this sorted straight away, sort out temporary residency until the final custody hearing.

But no matter how nasty it gets, she needs to remember that he is still their father, no matter what she has done to him or he to her.

She should seek legal advice immediately and get the ball rolling, if she's not working then she would qualify for legal assistance.

Don't waste another minute.

Answer 3

I have just been through a lengthy Residency battle (commonly known as custody) with my ex.

The judge chooses what is best for the children and in most cases he will come down heavily on the side of the mother. The ex's opinion is taken into account, but has no bearing on the Social Worker's report. I had two Social worker reports done and a psychiactric assessment.

The case ended in petty bickering over when he could see the children and he did not take up all of the time offered in the end.

Answer 4

Yes he might do that. Were your sister and this man married? Are the girls's names registered under their father's name or their mum's? The girls are too young to be asked if they want to stay with mum or daddy. She can prevent him legally if she only have enough reasons why the guy shouldn't get custody of the girls. If she's capable of looking after the girls and have time for them, yes she can keep the girls. Or they could see their dad in the weekends and be at their mum during the week.

Answer 5

Difficult one, unless your Sister can prove that her ex may snatch the kids there is very little she can do. If she prevented her ex from seeing the girls he may have a case about her being twisted.

However, there are not many judges in the UK that would remove the girls from the Mothers care just because her ex says she is twisted. Unfortunately she has to grin and bear it during the break up of the relationship until things are settled legally. He may be using this as a method of presurrising your sister into agreeing to other things he may want such as reduced maintenance.

Good luck to your sister.

Answer 6

I am not sure about the laws in the uk. I know that if they are married, then no body has full legal custody. It was never established in court that he or she would have custody. What she should do is go over to the court house and file for custody of those girsl. They are gonna send him the same paperwork as she is given. After that is done, then she has to make sure that she follows there directions. It is more likely that it will get worse. Good luck.

Answer 7

There are many legal considerations to take into account here. if this case goes to court, the persons character will come into question, etc..

If the court rules that the children will be better off with him, then he will win custody.

The short answer to this is without knowing all the details, it's impossible for us to answer but in most cases I hear about the mother wins. but there are cases where the father wins.

Answer 8

Can he prove she is twisted and that the children are at risk with her? If she refuses to hand over the girls for the weekend he can hold that against her, if he does not bring them back then he is in the wrong.
Your sister should act swiftly and get sound legal counselling before the situation gets out of hand.

Answer 9

one thing:
i would say it is not healthy for everyone in the family to get the law envolved with this point.

kids are the best thing now in father part & in mother as well.
and i hope the kids loves both as well.

-they should sit on the table meeting all the family together [small family] discussing the best way to handle the situation.
first i advise for making things better between them.
second if that fails they don't need to screw up everything between them.

-they can sit with a prest they must go for a solution to let the kids live happy as both loves them.


Hope everything will be fine

yahoo: sherif_mattar2000

Answer 10

If he runs off with the kids he'll have no chance of getting legal custody.

No reason he can't go through the courts to get them though. Why should the mother always get the kids? The dad may be the better parent!