Me and this girl have been best friends for ages. We have traveled the world to see eachother and always have a great time together. She has had several crushes and the occasional bf but none last. I love her more than anything in the world but she doesn't seem to notice. She says she loves me as a brother but I cant live with that. When I'm with her there is nothing more wonderful. Im tired of being the friend. I make her laugh, smile, cry etc... but she never lets me in her heart. This girl is the joy of my life but to her i am only a "friend". I've tried telling her but to no avail. Am i selfish to want more? What can i do? Any advice would help.
PS. I buy her stuff. We go to the movies. We do everything together. Her Parents love me. I have made every effort known to hummanity. If we were older I would ask her to marry me!!
2006-08-18 00:24:42 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let me add that we r both 18. I want to be able to support her before we decide to marry.
2006-08-18 00:40:55 · update #1
Well, first of all, I would like to congratulate you on having a friend that is a girl, that you are not having sex with! Good for you, that you don't sleep with her when you are friends! Secondly, I want to tell you, please if you believe that she is your true love then just wait!
Express to her one more time, seriously how you feel, if you can not tell her face to face then write her a letter and let her know how serious you are! Maybe she just thinks you are joking around, considering that you are such good friends! If that does not work, my advice would be to give her time to realize that the 2 of you would be great together, as you said you are only 18 and you have your whole life ahead of you! If she is truly the one for you, you will know! Any idiot could see how much you truly love this girl and that she really is the joy of your life! To make her understand how much you really love her or how much she means to you, do something very special for her, that would touch her heart(not gifts) for example, you could take her to the place that the two of you first met or where you went together for the first time! That would be really romantic and remind her how much fun you two have had together and maybe she would realize just how special you are and how bad it would be to let you get a way! You are one of the few rare men left in the world, that treat woman with respect! If none of this works, then I think you will just have to be happy being friends, but remember how hard it is to find a good friend, even if things never go any further, you have one of the greatest gifts of all, a true and loyal friend! I hope this helps you and that everything works out for the best! Good luck and God bless!
2006-08-18 15:31:18 · answer #1 · answered by iLoveDawnDawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a long way to go....
A situation whereby she treats you like a campanion rather than a lover. This does not sound good at all. The whole world might been thinking that the both of you are together and seriously, I believe that even her family react the same. In fact, she still denied it and emphasize that we are like brother and sister. The problem is that she don't want to accept you and you will be the last person she will be with...She still does not have the feel yet..
There is a few ways to counter this. First, you can be really be patience and wait. However, this will in fact hurt you very deep inside but good things always come last.
Second strategy is do not accompany her anymore. I think she rely on you too much. Let her taste the feeling of losing someone so close to her. You gotta be tough and please answer her call but tell her that you are busy or reject her politely. The more she get frustrated, the better it is...then you got to start counter back and make surprise sometimes. She might understand you too much, so you gotta show her that whatever she knows is only very shallow. Don't give the right answer to her everytime, just stay secretive and she will start digging for more info till she might even confess that she likes you. Well, this strategy is the "bad guys" strategy. Not sure it will work for your case but it does work for first date.
Third, you do not confess and tell her that you really like her cause it will be most likely a failure straight away. Do not confess!!! OK!! Just show a bit of signals and make it simple. Simple means that you gotta do something different from what you do everyday. Create event after event to build up this relationship up. Plan a trip or vacation or do something extraordinary. Make a momment!!!
This are the options. Choose wisely.
2006-08-18 01:01:37 · answer #2 · answered by FrentZen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's real real simple and if you're smart you'll really take it seriuosly because it's all you need to know:
She enjoys having you at your knees for her. It's a power trip and you give her a security that she abuses. She knows you're weak for her and she takes advantage of it. She will never be in love with you. The best thing to do is move on as soon as possible because the feelings only get worse and there's nothing you can do....truly. It's something she would have to discover on her own and that's not happening.
Besides you're probably not really in love with her anyway. Nobody ever really is especially when they're 25 or younger. Your situation is like everyone else's and people always get caught up again and again. Don't be a sucker, f*** her
2006-08-18 00:40:32 · answer #3 · answered by ~Wondering~ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all CALM DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Relax my friend! You want my advise?!: Stop everything! Just change a little your behavior. Don't be so close. Meet another girl and go out with her, cancel a date with her and tell her that you should go and meet the other girl because it's more important... Make her JEALOUS! You know what i mean. Don't forget that there is no "friendship" between a man and woman! If she's going mad with you and your behavior it's the perfect moment to tell her how you feel about her and what you want. Don't tell her that you love her again. Ok she has understand it. Don't give her everything! You can do it BUT you must be little shelfish....You can do it!!!!!!!!!
Good Luck!
2006-08-18 00:43:13 · answer #4 · answered by zoqafune 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to accept the fact that she doesn't want you in that way,it's not selfish to feel the way you do but if you keep pressing the issue you will soon lose what little you have.Keep your money in your pocket,still take her to movies and things like that but stop with the gifts cause you can't buy love.Also she may not want you because her parents like you(girls that are in the middle of fights with their parents do strange things like that) If it is meant to be it will happen,but to be safe start looking for someone else to be with,if you fall in love with someone else it would be her lose,not yours.Don't waste all that effort on someone that doesn't want it.Good luck.
2006-08-18 00:40:10 · answer #5 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have time...like u said you want to be able to support her before you get married. you are friends now, if you continue to push the issue for more you may push her away. enjoy the relationship that you have, and let it develop into something more as you continue to get yourself to the point where you can marry her. the friendship will either stay as friends or it could develop into more as you both grow older and more mature. hang in there...and don't give up...just enjoy the moments you have and work for a future :) when you get to that point that you are able to offer her security then see where your relationship is at that time. if she still isn't interested in more then you can either continue to be her friend or move elsewhere if it's too hard for you to stay friends.
2006-08-18 01:36:43 · answer #6 · answered by njbbwbabydoll4u 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so..you are not old enough to ask her to marry you? Then, kiddo..wait it out and let her catch up with you and those deep feelings. There is nothing wrong..in fact I highly reccommend..that you continue building on this fun friendship you have with her. If you love her as much as you say and you are both so young..time is truly on your side and you can afford to wait for her to grow up and grow more in romantic feelings for you. You sure are doing things right so far. Just continue to be there for her and give her the time to check out other guys and life..if it is meant to be..she will always come right back to you.
2006-08-18 00:33:06 · answer #7 · answered by Kay 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy your friendship and stop buying her stuff. Save up your money for the big ring, when the right girl comes into your life. Apparantely you are very young and there are so many flowers out there in the field and one is more beautiful than the other, you just have to pick them.
2006-08-18 00:31:28 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how much you love her. If she understands and accepts, then good.
If not and she refuses, you don't want a girl like that nayway now do you?
Love has to work two ways bro. Here's a trick you can try... disappear for a few days. If she misses you, shel'll call you back. If not, forget her and move on.
2006-08-18 00:31:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell me first can clap with single hand? love is something which cannot be created but should be born within.i think u should not force her bcoz at least u hv a frend now n if u force her n she rejects n stop talking to u den u'll be losing 2 things.1. Ur loved one who dint love u.2. Ur best frend.i know it's hard to forget someone whom v love so deeply. if Ur love is true not just hv fun den be as a frend keep Ur relationship goin n try to make her understand dat "it's always gud 2 love someone who loves u n rather dan goin in search of some1 whom u don't know". make her realise ur love is true.but remember don't do anything which will hurt her feelings n dont ever force her. nyway u'll always be wid her so never know wat hppns wen.don't forget der is always a light to fight darkness.
dis is my personal exp.i lost in my love but hope u'll succeed in ur's all da very best my frend.
2006-08-18 00:49:07 · answer #10 · answered by styleboy_2smart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋