I would like to find him so i can see my half brothers and sisters but my step dad was there my whole life and he gets jelous? what should i do? i also should find out his medical and family background because we are a very ill family. if someone can please tell me what i could do to contact him if i do decide to. his name is Michael Janeke, if that is the correct spelling. that is the problem i dont know if it is the right spelling, i think it is though and i believe he was last in Michigan. sorry im rambling but it is a very confusing subject any answers will help thank you.
2006-08-17 21:07:12 · 16 answers · asked by carleyrae83 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ps my mother has passed on
2006-08-21 16:39:24 · update #1
I would like you to know that finding your real father my not be the right answer but at least you will know for sure. I am adopted and i have known my real father all my life but didn't know it until I turned 18. I really didn't make any difference to me. My adopted dad gave up on me at that age and then my mom remarried again and now my step dad is my dad. So it really doesn't matter where you came from it is who you feel is your dad that matters. Just make sure if you are close to your step dad that he knows that you will love him no matter what.
2006-08-24 17:42:27 · answer #1 · answered by Rennie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
firstly, if he is listed on your birth certificate that should show the correct spelling of his last name.
Sit down with your step dad and tell him why you want to find your real father (I say father, cause the title DAD has to be earnt). Let him know that you want to find out your medical history, see siblings that you've never met. But remember to reassure him that he is your dad and that will never change. As for finding him, I'm in Australia and not sure how your systems work over there, but are there some kind of public records you can look at for that state. Try a few different possible spellings, Janneke Jeneke etc. Can you ask your mother some information, or another relative who remembers him?
2006-08-18 04:18:15 · answer #2 · answered by having_a_blonde_day_lol 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in the COMPLETE same situation as you and found my dad on the internet. between email look ups, white pages, and Intellius.com (just the free stuff), i was able to find a man on just a name and an old address. It's going to get frusterating and sometimes you may want to just give up but honestly the ends WILL justify the means considering you NEED medical history and im pretty sure that your step father will be alot more understanding than you think - just make sure that you reassure him that nobody can take his place and you appreciate him. Sorry for going on and on but just trying to give you as much info as possible. Great Luck
2006-08-18 04:14:56 · answer #3 · answered by Teena R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you think you're old enough to go on that journey? Try not to refer to him as your real father-- no wonder your stepdad is jealous. He was there for you, not your biological father. Just remember that all he did (if he didn't stay around to help) is get your mom pregnant. That doesn't make a dad. That's a sperm donor. OK?
I understand the reasoning behind your desire to find him, just make sure you know who your 'real dad' is and tell him so.
Also hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. When you find your biological dad, it may not go well as expected. So just be ready for any disappointments. Good wishes.
2006-08-24 03:52:09 · answer #4 · answered by reme_1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you referred to your step dad you used the word "dad." When you referred to your biological father, you used the word "father." While I was lucky enough to be raised by both, to me the most important part of the man who raised me was the "dad" part. Show this to your step"dad" and explain to him that you are just curious about half brothers and sisters and that you need to know about the medical aspects.
Personally, I have to undergo more tests than normal every year because of diseases that my dads family has had in the past, otherwise something important could be missed.
If you explain it to him with love and include him in the search itself and even consider having him come with you when you meet your biological father, it might not hurt him.
Good luck.
2006-08-18 04:19:24 · answer #5 · answered by Jill W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wanted to find my real father bc of medical problems that I was having, the Dr. said it was a hereditary problem. I asked relatives for any and all information and wound up finding a grandmother. She put me in touch with my father. Just don't give up and look everywhere, grill family members for any details.
My dad that raised me adopted me when I was 3 months old. He understood and said it was natural. He is supportive of the relationship I have with my biological father and my half brothers.
I wish you the best of luck and keep your hopes up.
2006-08-23 22:35:46 · answer #6 · answered by Missy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like a ending to a great story all your life looking for a da who will totally accept and embrace you and life is happily ever after....in most case that is not the deal some men are absent in their offsprings life because they don 't want to be a father or they are married and the wife will not allow it trust me i had this situation myself and set myself up for a big disappointment I was left feeling so hurt that I actually wait for the day to read his obituary I will go to his funeral and i will proclaim what a miserable man he must have been and how i truely hated him and i have made a silent vow to piss on his grave I am not lying that s how bad it hurt the things his wife said to me as he sat there spineless just crushed me and i shall never get over it
2006-08-25 12:31:13 · answer #7 · answered by glass_city_hustla 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go for it honey. Your step dad can feel what ever he wants. Explain to him that you just want to get some medical info and meet your half brothers/sisters. Remind him that there is NO WAY that your real father can take place of all that your stepdad has done for you. :)
Good luck in finding your father:)
2006-08-18 04:20:01 · answer #8 · answered by Fudge 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think iits a good idea but just dont get ur hopes why is the reason u havnt meet him make sure u find everything about him from ur mum and step dad before u look for him cause not meaning to b slack but he might not want to c u and then u will b hurt
2006-08-18 04:17:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to do whats best for you. If that means looking for your biological dad then so be it.
Stepdad needs to be a little less selfish and more understanding and supportive of you decision. Its not about him.
All I can say is Goodluck whatever you decide.
2006-08-18 04:19:03 · answer #10 · answered by alwayz_a_suspect 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋