We have been buying our home furnishings for the last year and are all set with dishes, silverware, linnens, towels, cooking utensils...etc...
Would this really be much different than registering for gifts?
2006-08-17 17:57:29 · 17 answers · asked by djanner2002 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Sorry, there is no polite way to ask people to give you money for your wedding. The best you can do is tell your parents and maid of honor that if anyone asks them what you would like, they can say you'd prefer cash. You can answer the question "what would you like" but you can't put requests for cash in the wedding invitation, shower invitation, etc.
The same also is true for gift registries. You should not put information about having a gift registry in the invitation - you should only tell somebody if they come and ask you if you are registered anywhere.
2006-08-17 18:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
No, you don't ever suggest any kind of gift unless someone asks you directly, in which case you should respond with a gentle truthful response indicating you have many of your household items already.
Guide them to your registry (yuck) that you have chosen only what you do not have and make sure you have a wide price range. Your registry will be small and people will be more inclined to give cash anyway.
Just remember, people like to give physical gifts, so they can see them when they visit. Also, many times, people can get you an extremely nice gift that has been significantly marked down or from someone they know who can give them a deal and that's a win-win.
It's too bad you started buying so much before your wedding.
2006-08-18 09:41:56 · answer #2 · answered by exclusiveindigo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Register at Target and other stores that will allow you to easily return the gifts. You don't get to choose what people give you for wedding gifts, gifts come from the giver and it is completely their choice to give you what they wish to give.
I am the recipient of gifts from a mother who has no taste at all. Because it's my mother I have had to tell her that her gifts suck. (If it's not a gift you can use, is it a gift at all???) If it's not a direct relative like that you can't be so tacky as to tell people that all you want is money. That would be horrible. Take what you get, a wedding is about celebrating the union, not getting money and/or gifts.
The tradition of giving wedding gifts was to help a young couple start building their homestead. If you've been living together, which is considered improper in the first place (not by me, but some prudish folks), you might just be considered lucky to have people show up to your wedding at all. But this is 2006 not 1956, so you're lucky on that front.
Good luck and I hope you can look past this and enjoy your wedding.
2006-08-17 18:06:13 · answer #3 · answered by Polly 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Make a registry, but don't put much on it. Maybe 10 items.
This is what my husband and I did when we were married. When we moved in together, he had a fully furnished apartment and so did I, and between the two of us, we had more than we knew what to do with!
Most people who came to our reception knew this, so they gave money. I had maybe 15 smallish items on our registry, and nobody bought anything from it, except my brother. I had stuff like dish towels, a few pictures...just little stuff. My husband said he should have a say-so in it, so he (as a joke!) added a $400 Samsung home theater system. My brother (who was overseas at the time) actually bought it and had it shipped to us. LOL It was so funny. I love my little bro. :D
2006-08-18 04:36:10 · answer #4 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, there is not proper or polite way. It's a gift!!! I would suggest that you just not register anywhere. People will get the picture, but without you being so rude as to say "I want money!". Miss Manners would be all over this question!
2006-08-17 18:06:04 · answer #5 · answered by Becca 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not - do not ask for money, or suggest people give money for your wedding. Of course, it is very different than registering for gifts. If money is what you need, get out there and work for it. Too bad that's what you are thinking of in terms of your wedding - it should be looking forward to a joyous occasion to celebrate the beginning of your marriage, not money-grabbing. Where are your values???
2006-08-18 01:11:07 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If money would help you out more just suggest that they could "donate" money to you guys instead. Think of something you guys want to buy or say the honeymoon. Lots of people understand that you don't always want more dishes. There will be some traditionalists so I suggest registering but maybe only for the things you guys would want but couldn't or haven't bought yet. Congrats and Good luck.
2006-08-17 18:06:39 · answer #7 · answered by tpurtygrl 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you intend the money to be given to a charity, then there would be nothing wrong with asking for money or saying that you would prefer the gift giver make a donation to XXXXXX Charity.
2006-08-18 04:52:11 · answer #8 · answered by collarncuffsboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting. You already seem to have everything you need. What would these monetary gifts be covering? Do you just want free money? I don't think that is very proper. Maybe you can ask people to donate to a charity of your choice.
2006-08-17 18:07:38 · answer #9 · answered by Linzy Rae 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would consider any reference to gifts (whatsoever) to be rude.
The idea is that they will join you on your special day - period.
2006-08-17 19:22:41 · answer #10 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋