How Men Interpret Language?

Question

It's really very simple, once you get the hang of it. A few examples:

1. "I'm going fishing."
Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and sit in a boat with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.

2. "It's a guy thing."
Translated: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

3. "Can I help with dinner?"
Translated: Why isn't it already on the table?

4. "Uh huh, sure honey." or, "Yes, dear."
Translated: (Means absolutely nothing -- it's a conditioned response.)

5. "It would take too long to explain."
Translated: I haven't the foggiest.

6. "I was listening to you. It's just ... I have lots of things on my mind."
Translated: Huh? I wasn't listening.

7. "Take a break honey, you're working too hard."
Translated: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

8. "That's interesting, dear."
Translated: Oh, are you still talking?

9. "You know how bad my memory is."
Translated: I remember the theme song to "F-Troop," the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the license plate numbers of every car I've had. But I have no idea when your birthday is.

10. "I dunno ... I was just thinking about you, and when I saw these roses I just thought you'd like them."
Translated: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.

11. "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Translated: I've severed a limb, but I'll bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.

12. "I've got my reasons for what I'm doing".
Translated: ...and I sure hope I think of some soon.

13. "I can't find it."
Translated: It didn't fall into my out-stretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.

14. "What did I do this time?"
Translated: What did you catch me at?

15. "I heard you."
Translated: I have no idea what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't find that out.

16. "You know I could never love anyone else."
Translated: I am used to the way you yell at me, and I realize it could be worse.

17. "You look terrific."
Translated: Oh God, please don't try on any more clothes!

18. "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Translated: No human will ever see us alive again.

Answer 1

very funny & so true....have a great week

Answer 2

Ive got a better one, Three ******* are riding in a car, but they are not screwing eachother or anything like that, they all have different boyfriends. Anyway, they end up crashing their car and all dying. So the three boyfriends need to figure out what to do with their bodies. The first boyfriend said he wanted to bury the body. The second boyfriend said he wanted to freeze the body. The third boyfriend said he wanted to cremate the body and put it in a bowl of chilli. The other two boyfriends asked the third one "why would you want to put your boyfriend in a bowl of chilli?? Thats so silly!!" the third boyfriend said, "so he can ream my asshole one more time!"

Answer 3

the priest replaced into on his Sunday preaches.the girl in front of him replaced into sitting awkwardly.he stated will each and all of the ladies human beings keep crossed legs please?....they have been all conserving crossed legs.. ok staggering the door of hell is closed now we can communicate approximately heaven...desire he did no longer see the door of heaven.

Answer 4

You forgot one.

"I know what I'm doing!"

Translation: get ready to call 911

Answer 5

great-now the women know some of our secrets

Answer 6

Lol! that is so funny because it is so true about guys

Answer 7

lol and its all so true, i told some of these but the rest were hilarious ♥

Answer 8

you could reverse that for women very easily.