Down Three Inches?

Question

In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. The hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh... if I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."

There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh... if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him."

There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh... if that fly goes down three inches, that fish will jump for the fly and I will grab him."

It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich. "Gosh..." he thought, "if that fly goes down three inches, and that fish leaps for it, that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch."

You probably think this is enough activity on one bank of a lake, but I can tell you there's more.

A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh... if that fly goes down three inches, and that fish jumps for that fly, and that bear grabs for that fish, the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich, I'll have lunch."

A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular lake around lunch time.

"Gosh... if that fly goes down three inches, and that fish jumps for that fly, and that bear grabs for that fish, and that hunter shoots that bear, and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich, then I can have mouse for lunch."

The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water. The fish swallows the fly. The bear grabs the fish. The hunter shoots the bear. The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich. The cat jumps for the mouse. The mouse ducks. The cat falls into the water and drowns.

The moral of the story: Whenever a fly goes down three inches some p-u-s-s-y is in serious danger.

Answer 1

Lol. I loved how the ending didn't have much to do with anything. Didn't see that coming. Nice. :)

Answer 2

>THESE ARE FROM A BOOK CALLED DISORDER IN THE AMERICAN COURTS, AND ARE
>THINGS PEOPLE ACTUALLY SAID IN COURT, WORD FOR WORD, TAKEN DOWN AND
NOW
>PUBLISHED BY COURT REPORTERS WHO HAD THE TORMENT OF STAYING CALM WHILE
>THESE EXCHANGES WERE ACTUALLY TAKING PLACE.





Q: ARE YOU SEXUALLY ACTIVE?
A: NO, I JUST LIE THERE.
___________________________________________________________________

Q: WHAT IS YOUR DATE OF BIRTH?
A: JULY 15th

Q: WHAT YEAR?
A: EVERY YEAR.
___________________________________________________________________

Q; WHAT GEAR WERE YOU IN AT THE MOMENT OF THE IMPACT?
A: GUCCI SWEATS AND REEBOK.
___________________________________________________________________

Q: THIS MYASTHENIA GRAVIS, DOES IT AFFECT YOUR MEMORY AT ALL?
A: YES..
Q: AND IN WHAT WAYS DOES IT AFFECT YOUR MEMORY?
A: I FORGET.
Q: YOU FORGET? CAN YOU GIVE US AN EXAMPLE OF SOMETHING THAT YOU'VE
FORGOTTEN?
____________________________________________________________________

Q: HOW OLD IS YOUR SON, THE ONE LIVING WITH YOU?
A: THIRTY-EIGHT OR THIRTY-FIVE, I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH.
Q: HOW LONG HAS HE LIVED WITH YOU?
A: FORTY-FIVE YEARS.
_____________________________________________________________________

Q: WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOUR HUSBAND SAID TO YOU WHEN HE WOKE UP
THAT
MORNING?
A: HE SAID, "WHERE AM I, CATHY?"
Q: AND WHY DID THAT UPSET YOU?
A: MY NAME IS SUSAN.
_____________________________________________________________________

Q: NOW DOCTOR, ISN'T IT TRUE THAT WHEN A PERSON DIES IN HIS SLEEP, HE
DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT IT UNTIL THE NEXT MORNING?
A: DID YOU ACTUALLY PASS THE BAR EXAM?
_____________________________________________________________________

Q: THE YOUNGEST SON, THE TWENTY-YEAR-OLD, HOW OLD IS HE?
_____________________________________________________________________

Q: SO THE DATE OF CONCEPTION (OF THE BABY) WAS AUGUST 8TH?
A: YES

Q: AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT THAT TIME?
______________________________________________________________________

Q: SHE HAD THREE CHILDREN, RIGHT?
A: YES Q: HOW MANY WERE BOYS?
A: NONE

Q: WERE THERE ANY GIRLS?
______________________________________________________________________

Q: HOW WAS YOUR FIRST MARRIAGE TERMINATED?
A: BY DEATH

Q: AND BY WHOSE DEATH WAS IT TERMINATED?
______________________________________________________________________

Q: DOCTOR, HOW MANY AUTOPSIES HAVE YOU PERFORMED ON DEAD PEOPLE?
A: ALL MY AUTOPSIES ARE PERFORMED ON DEAD PEOPLE.
______________________________________________________________________

Q: ALL YOUR RESPONSES MUST BE ORAL, OK? WHAT SCHOOL DID YOU GO TO?
A: ORAL.
______________________________________________________________________

Q: DO YOU RECALL THE TIME THAT YOU EXAMINED THE BODY?
A: THE AUTOPSY STARTED AROUND 8:30 P. M.
Q: AND MR. DINNINGTON WAS DEAD AT THE TIME?
A: NO, HE WAS SITTING ON THE TABLE WONDERING WHY I DOING AN AUTOPSY.
______________________________________________________________________
Q: ARE YOU QUALIFIED TO GIVE A URINE SAMPLE?

______________________________________________________________________

Q: DOCTOR, BEFORE YOU PERFORMED THE AUTOPSY, DID YOU CHECK FOR A PULSE?
A: NO

Q: DID YOU CHECK FOR BLOOD PRESSURE?
A: NO

Q: DID YOU CHECK FOR BREATHING?
A: NO

Q: SO, THEN IT IS POSSIBLE THAT THE PATIENT WAS ALIVE WHEN YOU BEGAN
THE
AUTOPSY?
A: NO

Q: HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE, DOCTOR?
A: BECAUSE HIS BRAIN WAS SITTING ON MY DESK IN A JAR.

Q: BUT, COULD THE PATIENT HAVE STILL BEEN ALIVE NEVERTHELESS?
A: YES, IT IS POSSIBLE THAT HE COULD HAVE BEEN ALIVE AND PRACTICING LAW
SOMEWHERE.

Answer 3

Bearly makes sense..A mouse is not a duck. The hunter had his hand on the wrong barrel. a cat has nine lives, you can't fly fish when you leave..and nothing important comes from a three inch gap..

Answer 4

Ive got a better one, Three ******* are riding in a car, but they are not screwing eachother or anything like that, they all have different boyfriends. Anyway, they end up crashing their car and all dying. So the three boyfriends need to figure out what to do with their bodies. The first boyfriend said he wanted to bury the body. The second boyfriend said he wanted to freeze the body. The third boyfriend said he wanted to cremate the body and put it in a bowl of chilli. The other two boyfriends asked the third one "why would you want to put your boyfriend in a bowl of chilli?? Thats so silly!!" the third boyfriend said, "so he can ream my asshole one more time!"

Answer 5

It's 6inches! and whenever a fly goes down 6inches a p u s s y gets wet!

Answer 6

You spent a lot of time on that funny story

Answer 7

That is a TERRIBLE joke (and you can be sure I'll retell it tomorrow)

Answer 8

hahaha

Answer 9

LMAO nice ♥

Answer 10

ooooooooooo k 2points wohoo im god