I bought a kitten last October. Even though I exclusively feed, clean, brush and play with the cat, she seems to have become more attached to my wife, jumping into her lap nightly, while I am lucky to get her to do that once every couple of weeks with me. It's a bit annoying considering I was the one who wanted the cat. In the first few months it wasn't like this, only in the past few. I had gone back to work full time last April while my wife and kids are at home. Could this have something to do with it, i.e she's around the cat more than me?
2006-08-17 17:12:19 · 27 answers · asked by corto 2 in Pets ➔ Cats
Female cats are more likely to pick a 'mother cat' and glom on - just an extension of their natural behavior. Who brushes the cat? And who, if anyone, washed the cat as a kitten - particularly if you ever had to clean its posterior with a cloth/ paper towel. That will do it. It's more important than 'who feeds' to a cat. The fact that you have kids in the house may have inforced the apha female role. Sorry, as a male you wouldn't have helped her raise her own litters in the wild, so she has no use for you. Try filling in another role - be the play buddy for instance, also once you get the cat fixed it may change its behavior again. Young cats are like children - they go through phases. Also remember this isn't a dog, they have a strong sense of loyalty, but in a family they are more likely to assign member roles - whereas a dog may simply treat the family members as top dog to itself. The cat already seems pretty into laps - a lot of cats become 'lap cats' when they are older - right now this cat wants to play. It is probably treating you like the alpha male of the territory. Someone to be respected but not cuddled. Give it time. Also remember that animals are great muscle readers - if you are annoyed it will notice. It may also treat you the way the 'other kids' do - if mom is for hugging and dad is for discipline, the cat will notice and act accordingly.
2006-08-17 19:08:06 · answer #1 · answered by kazak 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have 4 cats indoors, 2 of which were my husbands picks and loves, not mine (or whatever). While he was in and out of working, the 2 were more attached to him than I . But when he started working full time, (i too am a stay at home mom) those cats became my shadows. (they still are too) I think its more of a trust issue with the cats. Like for example, I dont pat them on the head only to walk out the door for 8-9 hours and then come home pat them on the head and go to bed. Its not that they don't pay attention to him, or prefer me, but it became I fed them, I cleaned litter, I brushed them - etc. When he started full time, that all stopped. Something you can try (assuming your wife knows your jealousy-winkwink-) is have her start ignoring the cats needs so much, so that when you come home he is so attention deprived, and thats where you step in, a week or two of that and the cat will get the idea!! Another idea is that when the food bowls empty, if your wife can do it, don't re-fill it when you arent home. You do it, while she's there watching. You know, that kind of common stuff. :) Good luck, cats are picky!
2006-08-17 17:45:20 · answer #2 · answered by dreamkillerkitten 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a cat who's 10 years old.
I spent the first half of his life mostly at home before having to go back to work full time. Up to this time we were vitrually joined at the hip.
Now my partner (who is at home a little more than me)...who does not feed, groom, buy presents for, or even fuss the cat, has become the object of his affection to the extent that given the choice of two laps on the sofa he will choose my partners evrey time... much to my partners disgust:)
It does seem a bit rotten really, but unlike a dog - you never own a cat.
2006-08-17 18:15:19 · answer #3 · answered by trebs 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When I went away to college for a year, my cat that I'd had since I was in the first grade pretty much forgot who I was. But after spending time with her again she's now letting me have her in my lap, so I think it depends on the amount of time you spend with your kitten, and how you treat her. If you're not around a lot, then she probably feels neglected by you, but don't feel too bad about it, it does suck but if you're working then it's kind of out of your control. Just be good to her when you get home like before, and hopefully she'll warm back up to you.
2006-08-17 17:32:25 · answer #4 · answered by Phaedra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cats , being very intelligent and independent, can get from you that you don't care for them if you're gone all the time. Keep making the effort to spend time and love you. And bless the cat, praise the cat in any way you can. Give treats, spend time when you can. I've had the same problem w/ my cat, and all this works. Tell the cat how much you love it, and mean it. They can tell if you're faking it. Or maybe your cat has connected better w. your wife. That can happen too. Either way, I wish you the best!
2006-08-17 17:25:37 · answer #5 · answered by bRiLa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More than likely since you went back to work the cat bonded with the wife.
I had one a long time ago that was a stray we aquired from down the street. We already had a cat that was very territorial and would mess everywhere if irritated. She was a one pet to the family cat. Well my then husband and my brother (who was visiting) decided to let this cat in the house anyhow. Boy did I throw a fit! Reemed both the guys out. The cat then took it upon herself to adopt me. Mind you I DID NOT WANT this cat at all. She decided then and there that I was the one to convince and commensed to sucking up to me every chance she got and wouldnt have anything to do with either of them anymore. She turned out to be one of my favorites for the longest time.
2006-08-17 19:33:50 · answer #6 · answered by ladystyx1969 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Strange - you are the "master" but the kitten has grown attached to your wife. No wonder your feelings are hurt!
I think the cat has grown attached to your wife because she is the primary source of love for the cat. If she's around more than you and lavishes affection to your cat, the cat is returning the same in kind.
Don't be hurt - appreciate the fact that your wife has "bought in" on your decision and is being kind to your kitty. Yes, the fact that your wife and kids are home with your kitty DOES have something to do with this.
Enjoy your kitty and appreciate that your family is wonderful for accepring her. Thank you for opening their eyes.
Purrs, Ragdoll Kitty. :-)
2006-08-17 18:05:11 · answer #7 · answered by Ragdoll Kitty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just like you said, it could be that the cat spends more time with your wife. If you work while she's around or she gets off work earlier then you. My cat is like that too. I also have one cat that my mom picked out and it was suppose to be her cat, but he only likes me. Same thing happened to me, I picked a cat out and he only likes her. Cats do what they want their not like dogs. Play with the cat more, like buying one of those toys with a stick with white thread, and it comes with a bell on it. They love those or those little mouses too.
2006-08-17 18:26:17 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda D 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This could be...especially if she is with it all day and feeds it too. I have a bird that prefers my husband over me though and I feed her...so ....unfortunately there might not be anything you can do but give her alot fo attention when you get home. Some cats just prefer women over men....but not all cats are like this...same goes with dogs.
2006-08-17 17:51:55 · answer #9 · answered by Love not hate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Female cats can be so picky and prissy! I am sorry she is being aloof with you and it is probably just something you will have to live with.
A dog will love you to death whatever the sex. You can get out and get some good exercise with a dog in the evenings. This will blow the cobwebs from your brain and erase all the tensions of the work day from your life.
That will teach that uppity cat!
2006-08-17 17:30:59 · answer #10 · answered by old cat lady 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋