Women only: How would you cope if your man had to work overseas in the military at very short notice?

Question

would it be hard letting go

could you risk growing apart while he was away

what things would you do at home to help you cope especially if he was gone for months at a time

Answer 1

Can you remember why you fell in Love with this man and married him?First off.....don't ever forget that!
Second....when you marry a military man......you become military also. They come above you,family and anything else. It may not sound fair, but the military has never been known for that, so why should they start now.
Keep up a steady stream of letters to him and don't get upset if you don't hear often from him. He is busy over there, but your letters will hlep get him through those lonely nights and scary days of fighting.
Write to him about everything at home that you would normally talk to him about, so he is always up to date on things.
Keep yourself busy with other military wives,your kids (if you have any), your family,work,church......anything that will keep your mind off his being gone.
Don't feel bad if you "lose" it sometimes and swear you will never make it til he gets back home. You CAN do it....refer back to my first sentence.
It won't be easy for him either...but he needs to be able to focus on defending his country and covering his and his fellow soldiers so that he and they can come back alive. If his mind is elsewhere worrying about how you are doing...he can't do that.
You need to remember that one day he will home and plan for that day. Keep a good frame of mind and don't put him on a guilt trip when you write him about his being gone.
You can stay true to him while he is gone the same as if he were here, so don't use his absence as an excuse to stray. Just take each day at a time and don't borrow trouble by looking long range about how long he'll be gone.
Just keep remembering that he probably wishes every day that he were home with you and he's relying on you to keep the home fires burning. Don't let him down and he won't let you down.
Remember your love for each other and you both can weather anything....even the military!!!!
Best of Luck to you and I'm here if you want to talk more.

Answer 2

Well, I have lived overseas in Europe and many of the American women there complain the whole time about the Germans and Turks. The say exactly what you say in THEIR country about American men being taken by those Euro trash. So the hometeam can't even win over there. lol. Americans act like they own everything and it's embarassing and some men get tired of being judged by their looks and bankroll. Some countries are real traditional and old fashion, so some guys like that. And others like Sweden and Germany are modern and the women are very indepedent, but they don't whine as much and take care of their own business and don't depend on the man to make the decsions. I guess a lot of guys find this attractive. I'm from L.A. and live in Kansas now. There is a difference. I have lived or been to 35 States and 45 countries. There are differences. Believe you me I say travel more and see how the other half lives. Those women lives sometimes aren't that good back home. If YOU went over there where those same women are from YOU would be the shiznit by some of their men and they would try to marry you 'roundeye'. lol. Go to Japan or Korea. Go near a military base or some horny local businessmen. Shoes on the other foot. So don't worry. The world's all the same. The parts all fit. And you can't tell what color or race someone is when the lights are out. I have conducted this experiment for your benefit.

Answer 3

Everthing in the military is short notice. You just deal with it, knowing that you are married to a military man.
I would for sure try to keep him in my heart all the time. Things like put pictures of us around all over the place, e mail him as often as possible, talk about him to the kids (if there are any.) I would do everything in my power to protect the relationship, especially not going out to bars and drinking. That would cause too much of a problem, because lonely women are targets for men, and lonely drunk women are sometimes unable to say no.
About growing apart, I think that is something that can be avoided if you make sure to always think positively about him.

I know it's a hard job being a military wife, my whole family is military. I always make a point of thanking the military wives I meet, for their support of their husbands and their unselfishness in standing by him even when he's away.

So, THANKS!! You are the other half of the soldier who's keeping us safe!

Answer 4

My husband just left on the 10th of this month. I knew for a long time that he would leave this month. My heart aches for you. What I have been doing is playing a lot with my 2 yr old son, writing him lots of letters, and e-mails, and making sure I'm home to receive his calls at a certain time during each day. It was so hard to say goodbye. We took lots of pictures a day before he left and the day he left. I got them developed right away. I made the decision right away that we would not grow apart. I know that even though he is gone we will still be making memories together that will last a lifetime. I have cried, but I'm not feeling sorry for myself at all. This is my first deployment and I'm not sure how it will go, but I won't make the worst of it I tell you that. I hope the same for you. If you ever want to chat IM me sometime. It's open in my profile. Otherwise, keep your head up and stay strong.

Answer 5

If my man was in the military then I'd have the knowledge and understanding that being shipped out at any time was a real possibility and prepare for it a long time ago.

You don't grow apart from someone you love. You cope by living. You get up everyday, eat everyday, clean, pay bills, go to work. Everything as usual.

Answer 6

Unfortunately this is happening to alot of people now days. Families and friends are all finding it very difficult to cope and affraid of what may happen. I cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling and how much it hurts. I do feel for you and hope times will get better. All we can do is pray that they will come home safe and very soon. Findout his address and write as many times as you can. Everyday if you can. They too are very lonely and miss being home. Send him some care packages too. Sometimes just knowing someone that cares and loves you makes their days more worth while. Even though we don't want our families and friends to go overseas or out to war we still have to be proud of them because without them we wouldn't have the freedom's we have today. Keep your chin high and prepare for the day he will come home. God Bless You!!!

Answer 7

Yes it would be hard to let go. You wouldn't have a choice but to risk the possibility of growing apart while he was away. I know this guy who got shipped to Iraq and he has a gf out here. He's coming back next month but I found out that he did some sh*t out there that he's hiding from his girl. But then again, if your love is strong and you two have a good communication, then you'd have nothing to worry about too. So it could go either way.

I'd start keeping contact with all my friends and start going out.

Answer 8

Though Im not a military wife, my husband is out of state Monday - Friday, and I basically get less then 48 hours with him. Actually the first few weeks he was gone was fun!! Got control of the remotes, could watch all the chick flicks I wanted. Not prepare so many desserts or the big dinners. Could work on my hobbies till 5am.
Im lucky in the fact, that we have unlimited long distance on our cell phones, he takes a laptop and when not too tired will get on the puter and webcam. Is there a risk that you will grow apart? Of course, at this time in my life (Im 46) I have no desire to look for other men and none could turn my head.

I'am a stay at home mom, of 2 girls 15 and 22 who at times need me desperately, and the next minute try to act like they are the mom. I have dogs/cats/macaw/parraket/3 horses, 1 due in November/goat/chickens. I love cooking and baking, I love gardening, we have a pool in our back yard, love to read, enjoy doing crafts of all kinds, needlework/knitting/rug hooking/stain glass, scrap booking and my digital camera, and anything. I have desperately looked for craft classes in the area and havent found any, I found in the past it was so fun to relax with others. From 6-10 at night usually busy with the girls watching tv, games, after that Im usually surfing the net.

Depending if you have kids at home, maybe get a part time job at something you enjoy doing, even if its minimum wage, go back to school take classes in something that interests you. Keep a journal of day to day things, send it to him once a month include lots of pictures

Answer 9

A woman who understands should let her man go to that place where he will be assigned to work with understanding and her blessing. There's no reason why she should let go of their relationship just because of his work.

May be it will be difficult at first for the woman to be away from the man she loves but she just should keep herself busy with new hobbies or other forms of entertainment that will keep her mind away from her man. In due time, this feeling of emptiness will soon pass with the hope that somehow, her man will be coming back to her arms as soon as he finishes his work assignment.

But the most important thing that she should not forget before she sleeps is to say a prayer for her man's safety and well-being wherever he is and whateve he is doing.

Answer 10

Man, I know it would take a stronger woman than me. I'm just being honest. But if you really loved him and knew he is the one for you, you should stick it out. It would be better to wait it out and know for sure that you couldn't make it but that you tried than to give up early and always think 'what if'.
Something you could do to keep yourself occupied is to take up a new hobby. Painting, music, volunteer work, whatever.
Best of luck to you