Narcissistic Personality Disorder-?

Question

Are there any children who were raised by such a parent? My mother was truly horrible and took most of her hatred out on me throughout my childhood, although she was just as ruthless on my father and brother, they never believed me when I portrayed her as the MONSTER she really was, ( even while they hated her as much as I did) , because they were much more sure of themselves as people, and couldn't accept the fact that someone could truly be that cold and heartless. When I was 25, she was finally diagnosed by her ( and occasionally my ) long-term therapist with Pathological Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I was finally vindicated, to an extent... but do the residuals last a lifetime? I'd like to hear from others out there, who had parents like this, now that I know there are others like me out there....

Answer 1

I can relate my mother is bi polar and I think some manic deppressive she was horrible she would punch us and kick us throw chairs at our heads all the good stuff. She currently takes no medications she seems a little calmer than when I was a child but thats it. So now me personally I have lots of mental health issues myself. Isnt it wonderful to know there are people out there who had the same crappy kind of childhood?

Answer 2

My father was never diagnosed. When I was in college I took an Abnormal Psychology class, I remember like it was yesterday even what the page looked like were I read the definition. It helped me so much to realize that he had a disorder. Until that point, everything that had happened or not happened I either resented or took personally, as if his goal in life was just to hurt my feelings. However, once I understood that it had nothing to do with me or my successes or failures, I was released from the grip I had of seeking his approval. We never did have a great relationship, but it got better over the years. I pretty much grew up and moved away. He was lucky to see me on the holidays. He ended up getting stomach cancer and died a horrible painful death. I was holding his hand when he took his last breath. The thought of his death makes me sad. I still have issues that I am dealing with from my teenage years. Just because he's dead didn't change my past. Now, I regret the lack of time I did spend with him. We are who we are. Nobody is perfect. It turns out I'm not the perfect mother either, but I do try my best to put my children first.

Answer 3

My ex husband is a narcissist. He was horrible to me. Luckily our joint counselor told me the diagnosis. Otherwise I may have continued to think I was crazy as he told me. I am glad for our children that he lives far away and does not see them often. As a result they may actually have a decent relationship with him. At times I must resist the feeling to fly into a rage at him. I am so pissed that he treated me as he did. He is such a mean, controlling, arrogant . . . well, I am working toward forgiveness. Something you too must do if you will ever lead a normal existence. Forgiveness and understanding. Your mom is sick. Her reactions were from her sickness, you are not responsible for them. If you do not understand this sickness you very well may wind up in a relationship with a narcissist. My mother too, although she will never get treatment, has an extreme need to control and dominate. Funny that she hates my ex. Must be the competition. Anyway, understand and forgive, and really if you can, distance yourself. It is so hard when it is your mother.

Answer 4

Are we talking about your baggage (residuals)? It is so easy to tell people that you must let the blackness go, release it from your soul. Put all the hatred and blame behind you, for you cannot do anything about the past; only your future.

So easy to say, so difficult to do. I hope you can forgive your mother, dear one, and forget the pain and move forward as best you can. You are a survivor!

I lived with a father who wielded such fearsome control over my brothers and I, and it took me two years after his death before I could effectively forgive him....it was literally eating me up inside. I will be ever-thankful to the woman I met in grief counseling.

Answer 5

I dont think of it rather is a ailment as such, yet i tend to be particularly much less emotional than many human beings, that's a double edged sword - I dont get the enormous highs that some human beings get, yet nor do i'm getting the enormous lows the two. in this admire i might say i'm greater balanced than maximum, loose to apply my rational and logical innovations hemisphere, rather of my emotional one.

Answer 6

Thanks for opening my mind to this disease. Now I understand that it could be the cause of my friend's behavior. she is maybe 56 years old now, has an illegitimate daughter who is 25 years old. The two of them are enemies. Her daughter claims she suffered abuse from her mom. They no longer communicate. First, I thought, my friend's lousy behavior was because of her being an artist. (She paints, writes). When I talk to my friend, she has the ugliest things to complain about her daughter, emphasizing to me how bad a daughter she is. My friend has isolated herself, and only sees a few people, to whom she sells the stuff she produces. She has even expelled her very own 86 year old mother from her house. The 25 year old daughter now has an infant of her own, and she is a well-balanced lady, now taking her Masters in Business Administration. It is my dream that I could b the instrument to their reconciliation, but there seems to be no hope.

Answer 7

Turns out that people with narcissistic personality disorder had IMPOSSIBLE parents too, parents that ignored them and who were impossible to please. Understanding and forgiving her--even if you can't stand to be around her--will help you heal.

Answer 8

http://samvak.tripod.com/npdglance.html