any gud jokes 4 that
2006-08-17 16:58:26 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They were standing in front of a firing line.
"Any last words?" They asked the Englishman.
"FLOOD!!" He shouted and in all the panic he escaped. Next they asked the Scotsman the same question.
"AVALANCHE!!" He yelled and also escaped. Finally it was the Irishmans turn. Following the example of the other two men he screamed "FIRE!!"......
2006-08-18 03:06:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
these men were attempting 2 flee the army, once over the fence they came 2 a clearing where the rubbish was getting bagged up & taken away, with no time 2 think about it they all jumped into a bag hopeing 2 b carted of with the rest, sgt got suspicous & decided to prod the Englishman, he meows, sgt thinks must b a bag of cats & throws it on the van the scot followed his lead & woofed, must b a bag of dogs & throws it on the van, as he got 2 the irish man he panics and says.. POTATOES!!
2006-08-17 17:38:21 · answer #2 · answered by nexus180_1 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
all 3 were stuck on a desert island. when , one day they find a magic lamp they give it a rub out pops a genie , i grant you 1 wish each the genie says, the Englishman replies i want to be home with my family , in a puff of smoke he is back home..
the Scotsman replies i want to be in my local pub with me mates with a large whisky, puff of smoke he is gone...
the Irishman says, I'm lonely i want the other 2 back..
2006-08-17 17:21:00 · answer #3 · answered by merlin 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
In a prison camp three prisoners are due for execution but the commandant offers them a reprieve if they can answer a question.
To the Irishman he says "What was the name of the ship that sank on its maiden voyage?" and he replied "The Titanic" and he was put back in the cell.
To the Scotsman he says "When did it happen?" and he replied "1912" and he was put back in his cell.
To the Englishman he said "Give me the name and address of the survivors."
2006-08-17 17:08:06 · answer #4 · answered by vivabina 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Paddy English man, Paddy Irish man & Paddy Scots man went to the pub one day. It was a quite bar, not to smokey, and the Guinness was good. After a few pints Paddy English man told the others he was going to get a paper, and away he went. In his absence Paddy Irish man said to his neighbour: 'It seems to me that we are all here in this strange and wonderful life just drifting and being in our own individual vacuums with only our dreams and hopes to keep us company because ultimately, we are all alone' He then sipped his pint.
Paddy Scots man sips his pint, thinks for a minute, then says: 'Do you think I look like Sean Connery?'
Then they heard the chimes of an ice-cream van and so they left the pub and went tearing after it. As they sat in a nearby park eating their ice-creams, Paddy Scots man began thinking how big it all is, and then his brain exploded.
Just then Paddy English man turned up with a newspaper under his arm. 'What happened here?' he asked. Then they both went to look for a job on a nearby building site. Don't forget your shovel.
On the site the foreman needed a hand and then they all went on a picnic and there were pink talking bunnies and everything. 'Neal Page is an advertising executive who just wants to fly home to Chicago.'
Later than evening, as they were all watching Shrek with the volume down and adding their own voices instead, a very strange thing happened. Three years later, on a monday afternoon, a coffee filled white cup was lifted to a waitresses lips.
2006-08-17 20:58:25 · answer #5 · answered by William G 4 · 0⤊ 5⤋
And a Chinaman and an Australian and an Amazon
2006-08-17 17:03:19 · answer #6 · answered by IthinkFramptonisstillahottie 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
lol..merlin's is so funny...
2006-08-17 17:56:25 · answer #7 · answered by Leia Skywalker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋