!!!!!! what should i do????? going though family problems????????

Question

some of my family is chronically ill and it seems like it affects every thing, there seems not to be a moment where it does not totally take over every thing ,especially emotional things ,i don't feel like there is a time when how i feel is not curbed or hidden because some one else might be adversely affected , or like its not important because if i have a problem it's not as significant as the on going things they endure, i feel angry but selfish and guilty also for feeling this way and i find myself more and more often just going numb for long periods of time then feeling upset and then numb again, i don’t know what to do any advise?

thank you every one for all your answers they have good suggestions and i appreciate them

Answer 1

Unfortunately, this is often the case when family members are chronically ill. Both my mom and dad were quite ill - mom died a few years back and dad is still hanging in there. The part that you have to remember is that you're still alive and you deserve, and have every right, to your own happiness.

It's always tough to balance your own needs against someone with a chronic illness - but you won't be any good to others, let alone yourself, if you don't take time to take care of yourself.

Don't ever feel selfish or guilty for having feelings - it's what makes you human. Just remember that you need to do things that remove you from the situation. Go for a walk - clear your mind - get together with friends, anything to take your mind off of family illness for a short time.

It's really okay to feel bad and angry - but remember, they're sick and going through stuff, but you're also going through it. With my mom, she was sick and going through everything, but she died at the end of it. Not only did I have to endure her illness and all of her issues, but then I lost her and had to live on to take care of my dad.

It's not an easy situation. Get into therapy if you can to deal with the issues and just have faith that things will get better. Your feelings - regardless of what they are - are valid and you shoudn't feel guilty for having them!

Good luck to you - I've been there and it is definitely tough. It will, however, make you a stronger person.

Answer 2

Having someone in your home or around you a lot that is chronically ill is very hard. It is like your life has to come to a stand still just to help them. Or like no matter what your going through it isn't as bad. You are going through some pretty normal feelings. You need to ask yourself is this illness terminal or just chronical? Is it a true illness or one just made up for attention. On the other hand, if they are sick, they need love and support. Being sick is a scarey thing and if it is a serious illness then they may be feeling more anxious then you. Facing death is hard to do, but it is a little easier when you have the love and support of your family. Talk to your family about how you are feeling. Maybe they are so worried that they only know how to focus on this sickness. Sometimes people don't know they are doing something wrong unless someone else tells them. I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with your family and their problems. I know how you are feeling because my father is terminally ill and my mother is chronically ill and 1 of my 3 sisters are chronically ill. They are all older in years and it is a hard thing to see them in so much pain. The suffering that they go through is tough to see and sometimes I want to just scream and make it all stop. I can't so I live one day at a time and prepare myself for whatever may come. Good Luck!!!!
http://www.beingsickwell.com/ here is a website that I hope helps you out.

Answer 3

Find something that helps you relax, like: reading a book, working a puzzle, or listening to music. When you feel upset take a few deep breaths and/or maybe go for a walk. When you feel yourself getting upset or worried try to do something on your own to calm down. If you have someone close to you that you can talk to that would be a good place to start. Don't let your feelings get bottled up inside. Your feelings seem normal, but remember the chronically ill family member won't always be around -- you need to cherish the time you could have with this person or persons. Hope this helps!!

Answer 4

It sounds like too many things happening to even start, except sometimes you have to take care of yourself first.

If you want an idea on why some of your family are chronically ill, check out the symptoms page at www.hufa.org. If low blood sugar is part of the cause of their illnesses, then a change in diet may help. But if you are not in charge or in total control of their food intake then it is just one more frustration that will make you numb again.

E-mail me if you want someone to talk to.

Answer 5

Go seek a support group where ever you live,mental health agency usually have supportive services, or you can also seek therapy to help you get through or seek spiritual a guidance from a pastor, priest, nun that you can confide that will not use the info against you..
Don't forget to practice relaxation techniques,,, hot bathe with candiels and music,,, take a walk, read books on how to cope with stress,,,,,,,,numbing yourself is unhealthy it can cause bigger problems later, I know people who did it for years and they are paying for it now.......If you would like to dicuss this further e-mail me at [e-mail]

Answer 6

You need someone to talk to. If possible find yourself a councillor or friend who will let you vent your problems. We all need that at times. Hang in there. This will all pass and you will be stronger for the experience. Good luck.

Answer 7

You don`t say exactly what they are suffering from .
If it is physical then show some compassion .
If it is mental you need to separate yourself from them ,before they drag you down .
Mental illness can`t be CURED and it eventually gets worse ,
I know because my Ex had mental problems
She is worse and a danger to others .
Take care and good luck.

Answer 8

Confide in a friend or see a mental health doctor.

Answer 9

u need to talk to someone.take sometime out.if u need to talk to someone iam there.....mail me....iam always here if u need me

Answer 10

THANKS FOR 2 POINTS!