My dad left us (me, my sister & my mom) when I was young (4 years old). He did write the occasional letter to me & my sister and he always sent us presents on our birthdays, x-mas etc. My parents got back together when I was 11 but I never truly felt like my dad was ever there for me. I've noticed that I'm starting to develop feelings for guys much much much older than me (I have a crush on my neighbour and he's 46). Is this a daddy complex? And if it is why doesn't my sister have it too? (She's 3 years older than me)
2006-08-17 15:33:50 · 14 answers · asked by u_cant_handle_dis 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like it. I have the daddy complex, so I've been told. I am 20 and my husband is 34. Even when I was in school, i never had crushes on all the boys my age I had crushes on the teachers. My sister is 1 year younger than me and she actually goes for younger guys. If you're more comfortable with older men, go for it. I feel safer with older men and I love my husband. it all depends on the person.
2006-08-17 15:41:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My reaction to the "daddy complex" is a big SO WHAT. All of us are looking for someone who fills in the parts of us that are missing. The best relationships, IMHO, are those between people who complement each other. That way, they draw strength from each other and support each other.
So, if you need or want an older man because you missed out on a close relationship with your father, what's wrong with that? We all need something from someone.
Additionally, if you do fall in love with an older man, there's a much better chance that he will be stable, secure, and ready to start a family. Your crush is 46. His career is established. And, he probably wants love as much, if not more than, he wants sex.
If you're happy, go for it.
2006-08-17 15:44:54 · answer #2 · answered by Otis F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why are you worried about it? girls who are brought up in households with both parents often have attractions to older men as well, such as myself. my dad was a construction worker, went gray when he was in his 20's, and came home from work covered in dirt from the construction site. i had this attraction when i was an adolescent to older "distinguished" men with graying hair, but more the successful businessman persona. not the typical "construction worker." did i have a "daddy complex?" who the hell knows and why would that be a problem? sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and sometimes we're not always interested in having sex with our opposite sex parents, not in the literal sense of the word. maybe you're just attracted to older men because they represent a sense of stability and maturity that most younger men don't possess. most older people are not as "flighty" and impulsive as younger people, and yes, some younger people have a need for security in their lives, so it shows up in the "type" of man or woman we're attracted to, respectively, in a heterosexual nature. it doesn't mean we want to sleep with our parent, which is what the whole "daddy complex" indicates, hence, quite UNNATURAL. you're not in need of any psychological help. just see it through and hope that the older man respects your young age and doesn't take advantage of your young age. if you're starting to feel like you're being taken for granted or dismissed as a "child" by your older love interest, then you're probably right and should move on to keep your self-respect. hope this helped ya!! good luck!
2006-08-17 15:39:11 · answer #3 · answered by vrandolph62 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Evidentally, your sister was not effected by the situation in the same way you were. Another words, her comprehension of it was different than yours because of her being 3 years older than you. I don't think you have a "Daddy Complex" but you may want to find an older man, thinking that he may be more mature in a relationhip.
2006-08-17 15:39:54 · answer #4 · answered by vhcsmamma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that that could be defined as a (daddy complex)and i think with the lack of a father figure you are looking for it in an other man,in this case its your 46 yr old neighbour,i guess that it is common,and everybody handles things differently,so your sister is handling this in some other way....i hope that he is at least good looking??
2006-08-17 15:44:45 · answer #5 · answered by mrlonelee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is a daddy complex. It is correctly termed an Edipous Complex. Edipous loved his mother and no other woman could come close to comparing. The good news is your identifying with it. This is a natural event in both men and women and your identifying with your own sexuallity. I assume you are a woman and not a young girl. It is instinctive and you are hard wired to do this. By mating with men of simular morphology to your own family you garenttee perpetuation of your own gene pool, ie. future family. Your sister does have the same instinctive drives as you. If she is not showing them then she is supressing her instincts. Why, is for a counciler to deside. Don't worry, your normal.
2006-08-17 15:47:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd say yes,you may just have a "daddy complex". Make sure you aren't just trying to find a daddy figure.You don't say,but I'm hoping you are over 18,or your 46 year old neighbor could get in some big trouble.As for your sister,well,we all handle these things differently.She may be harder on guys over your dad's actions.Where as you are attempting to "replace" Dad,she may seek to "eliminate" any male influence over her. At any rate,time for you to see a counselor.You have some heavy issues to settle.
2006-08-17 15:44:49 · answer #7 · answered by Maw 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
In your case it could be a daddy complex.... it IS if you are trying on some level to attain what you didnt get from your real father. You need to do some soul searching to figure out whether its really the men , or are you indeed lacking something that you think a father figure can give you.
2006-08-17 15:39:35 · answer #8 · answered by kitty.hicks 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you have a daddy complex. you are looking for a older man to support you, guide you and value you, all the things your real father never did. You should get counseling to help you through this. You sister may not have these issues because she was older when he left and saw him for what he really was, and you probably don't remember life with him so its all a fantasy you are now trying to make reality.
2006-08-17 15:39:12 · answer #9 · answered by parental unit 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
daddy complex is when you want your daddy to be your man without even knowing just acting it. maybe you are just attracted to older guys be careful about that
2006-08-17 15:38:27 · answer #10 · answered by firered 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋