for those of you with kids 3 years-old and under?

Question

how often do you have sex with your husband/wife in a month and how do you feel about it? is it different since you have kids?

Answer 1

Oh my gosh, ROFL, is it different since we had kids? YES!! It's nowhere NEAR as frequent as it used to be and being in the mood isn't even a requirement anymore. I hate to say it (and I know some couples don't have this problem), but much of the time it just kind of turns into, "Eh, we haven't done it in a while, let's take a shower," LOL!

I have a 4 year old and a 17 month old, and I'm just TIRED most of the time (I'm a stay at home mom AND a PT nanny). I spend all day talking to an infant and when my husband comes home and the kids go to bed, I don't just revert to sexpot extraordinaire ;)

I wish I had that superhero ability to change personas in the blink of an eye, but alas, I just don't! As the kids get older it does get a bit easier. I imagine in the next couple of years when my youngest starts school and I go back to actual adult interaction during the day, I'll be less mentally exhausted and more inclined to ravish my husband on a more regular basis.

Answer 2

I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 13 month old, and we have sex about twice a month, sometimes 3 times a month. I feel sh*tty about it. I have a strong sex drive, while my husband doesn't. Sex itself isn't different. What's different is that we have to pick and choose when we do it. Before kids it was any time of day or night, anywhere in the house, etc. Now, it has to be either on the weekend night after the kids are in bed, or on the weekends during nap time when they're in bed. (My husband works nights and leaves shortly after dinner during the week, so week nights are pretty much out.)

Answer 3

I'm actually glad you asked this question and there are answers already for me to read. My son will be 3 on Labor Day weekend and let me tell ya...it's changed. Sex is no where near as frequent as before. I feel there are times when, even though I am SO tired, I must initiate sex with my husband rather than him doing it all the time. I feel badly that it has changed but I am a mom, wife, and a teacher. Yes, it is a little more frequent in the summer because I am not working. However, I am running all over the place with my son keeping him occupied, and at the same time trying to keep things up at home (God bless you stay at home moms).

We are at one to two times a week (although there have been times when a week or two has gone by and nothing).

Thanks again for posting this question.

Answer 4

My husband and I have been married for almost four years now and have a 16 month old son... we still have sex almost everyday. I think as we have more kids it will be harder to find time to be alone though. The sex has actually gotten better since having the baby... it's more comfortable for me (used to hurt sometimes) and since I enjoy myself more so does my husband.

Answer 5

well first off yes it is very diff now that we have kids before we ever had kids we would do the whole make out grope , haveing sex every other hour and all from the time we got home from work till it was time to go to work again.and all very passionaltly

now after kids its every saturday or so. and its more lets hurry up and do this before one of them wakes up. (the other day our middle child walked in on us oops luckly we were under the covers and to a half asleep 4 year old it would have just looked like we were "play fighting".) (the one night we forgot to lock our door)
and slowing down to only every saturday is hard after having it 3 to 4 times a day every day. (i guess we know how we ended up with 3 kids in 22 months huh {all from single births i might add})

Answer 6

Oh, our sex life has def. changed since the little one got here. He is 2 now and we probably do it once a week, if one of us is not sick, sometimes more often, but sometimes a couple of weeks go by and nothing. He has walked on us a couple of times but we try to act normal so he doesn't think anything of it. But after I gave birth, it took me 6 months before I had sex again (it was painful, I was breastfeeding and always exhausted, the baby woke up every 2 hours...)

Answer 7

We average twice a week, and we feel pretty good about it. It took a while to get back into it after our son was born; getting used to sneaking in "quickies" while the boy slept and weighing the importance of sex vs. sleep many nights. There is also more planning involved since the boy arrived- which grandma is babysitting is the big one.

Answer 8

very different life is hectic and myself having 3 kids its hard to make time but i would say at the very least once a week. all depends on the day and how the kids were if it was a stressful and tireing day then it was off to bed. its all what you make of it.

Answer 9

twice a month. Yes it is normal. your prioritied change. Sleep becomes more important than sex. Try not toget in the rut of eveyday. It is good for you to be just a woman and not a mom.

Answer 10

When my boyfriend and I did it when my son was first born, it was very strange. Once he got up at like, two in the morning and walked in on us. It was hard to explain it to him. Then my daughter came along, and it made it even more awkward.