Hi, can you help me with this one?? My husband has 2 kids (girls) from a previous relationship. He has never known these kids. He invited them over for the weekend. I was ok with that. We have 2 kids of our own. He got over excited meeting these kids. He start to by them everything they wanted. He invited them every weekend.. (he works weekend they would me with me most of the time) I had a chance to build a strong relationship with the girls. Now my husband's thrill is gone because they are always asking for material things and dont treat him as a father, just a father bank. He stopped them from coming over anymore and calling. He changed the phone no#. I got used to the the kids. What should I do I feel something is missing now.
2006-08-17 14:44:53 · 12 answers · asked by bigpeanuthead 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need to encourage him to try again with these girls, this time as a father, not as Daddy Warbucks. These girls are half-siblings to your children and they all deserve to know each other. Your husband has blown it twice with these girls, once by not knowing them for many years, then by trying to buy their love. He owes it to them to try again, setting appropriate limits and expectations. Since you have a real relationship with the girls, you could be a big help in this. I hope he will be willing to try.
2006-08-17 14:59:21 · answer #1 · answered by just♪wondering 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very serious problem. Does he not see that he created this issue? The girls are obviously nice girls if you love them and they do not treat you this way. These are children not adults, did he try to work this out with them or just dump them because it was too "hard"?
I would say that you need to talk to a professional family counselor. I am not joking, what he has done is cause damage to these girls by behaving this way and to you. How will you trust him not to bail when things get "hard" at some point with you or your kids. I am sorry for you, you have a very long road ahead of you. However, you sound like your eyes are wide open and you will handle this with grace and you will be okay in the end. Please go to a family counselor.
2006-08-17 14:57:57 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Mad Maddy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say have a talk with your husband, let him know that it's understandable for a father to spoil kids he's just getting to know, but now he needs to own up to that mistake, realize it's his fault for letting them see him as a "father bank", stop giving them things, and just be a Dad. Let him know they're good kids (if they are :P ) and that after a few weekends of him not giving in to their material demands they'll get the picture and you guys'll start having some fun as a family. ^_^ Stepkids are a real tough thing for families, it's so great that you get along with them and like having them around. Just tell him how you feel, I'm sure he'll see where you're coming from and realize how childish he's acting. He really shouldn't be running away from them.
2006-08-17 14:57:09 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah as soon as I read the first lines I knew what he was doing was wrong. He has never known these children and when he gets the chance he spoils them and BUYS their love LITERALLY! It wasn't a good move because now they have gotten used to him as a BANK! Let him know that it was not a good step in just buying them things because now they feel like they can depend on him to just hand out money. Let him know that he needs to start over with the kids but this time treat them like he treats your kids....discipline and all! Give the girls another chance because obviously you want them around.
2006-08-17 14:54:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could he just drop the kids like that? He needs to take responsibility for what he did. HE is the reason they think he is a father-bank;buying them everything they wanted? You should encourage him to let them continue coming over. They are his children; eventually they will realize they are there to spend time with their father and not to load up on gifts.
2006-08-17 14:55:19 · answer #5 · answered by strawberries 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, how old are the girls? If old enough explain the money situation to them in terms they understand, and if too young...just stop doing it, and learn to say NO. Does husband just not want them around? They need to know each other, maybe you could suggest a monthly visit. All siblings should know each other. If this fails ask him if he minds if you take your kids to visit them like on an outting to park, zoo or Mc Donalds. Sue
2006-08-17 14:55:41 · answer #6 · answered by Sue B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is being a jerk. Regardless of the fact he is treated like a bank, it is terrible to welcome then and then throw them out. They are family and if your husband does not realize it, as his wife, you should keep up with the girls.
2006-08-17 14:50:42 · answer #7 · answered by Mos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your hubby needs a wake up call. He made the monsters now he should fix them.
They do need him in their life, and it was pretty shallow of him to dump them instead of address the problem.
If you want them in your life, maybe you need to just see them for now until he calms down ;)
2006-08-17 14:51:36 · answer #8 · answered by angel_s_garden 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
**Going right into a chilly bathe could be worse. a minimum of once you get out of a heat bathe you could placed a towel around you to objective and stay heat yet once you get right into a chilly bathe you need to anticipate the water to heat up.**
2016-12-11 10:41:09 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats sad.....he shouldn't be hiding from the kids...he should tell them that he cant buy them stuff all the time but would be happy if they could come by spend time with him..im sorry...good luck
2006-08-17 14:51:10 · answer #10 · answered by Kellkat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋