Is This Normal Curiosity For A 6yr Old?

Question

Hi,
I am starting to get worried about my son who's turning 7 in the fall, for the past 6 months or so he has shown an unhealthy interest in looking at other people's genital area. He uses any oppertunity to walk in on us (myself, his dad and older brother) in the shower, getting changed, on the toilet etc and he seems to now enjoy showing off his underwear, his bottom and even his penis to us, especially his older brother (who's 9). No matter how many times I've tried to nip it in the bud, nothing is working. His older brother is disgusted by him and is now blocking his bedroom door when he gets dressed. I don't know if he's doing this as a shock factor (he does like attention) or if there's a real problem going on I should be worried about.

Answer 1

This is VERY normal for a child. Yes, he is trying to get attention. But as far as the curiosity - this IS the age! Especially for boys. (Just think of them when they get to be teenagers!!!)

I have been a nanny for about 8 families, most of them with boys around this age. I heard the word "butt", "poop", "pee", etc. hundreds of times each day! They say it any time they can sneak it in.

What I do is tell them once that it is not appropriate to talk about that. Maybe a second warning telling them they will have to go to their room if they don't stop. (And of course follow through with your warning).

Also let them know that if they have any serious questions they can ask you and you will try to answer their questions. Let them know its okay to be curious and ask you questions, but its not okay to talk about it in public, look at people in the bathroom, etc.

This is not something that will go away fast though. All you can do is try to curb it.

Your older son should have his privacy in the bathroom and bedroom. Make sure he is able to somehow lock his brother out so he is not bothered. This will help your younger one realize its not funny.

Also tell him if he feels the need to show himself, to do it in his room privately. And follow through.

Don't be shocked. Be consistent.

And get locks on the doors!!!

Answer 2

My son's like that too. He'll come out of the bathroom with nothing but a sock on! And guess what? That sock is NOT on his foot.

My son starts therapy {not just for that...he has real issues too} next week.

Someone said to smack him. Please don't do that! Then you are teaching him that the human body is something preverse and unnatural. I would ask your son's doctor about it though. Maybe something is wrong there.

My son was abused as a very young boy, and then shortly thereafter he started doing all kinds of weird things {not this!!!!!} so he's been in and out of therapy.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Know I'm NOT suggesting your child has been abused!!! I'd bet he loves the attention and maybe it's time to talk to the boy and tell him this is wrong. Peoples private parts are just that private. He does not have any right to walk into the bathroom when it's being used. {Can you lock the door?} Don't make him feel bad for what he's doing because when he grows up he could be really screwed up about sex. Justs tell him..."Son, this is wrong and then state your own reasons for it." It happens. My older boy who was not abused used to run on the front porch naked and laughed about it! I was horrified! LOL I saw a little white butt run by and I was shocked. Try not to worry too much, ask your son't doctor. That's where I would start. This is probably normal. All three of my son's when through times when they thought there penis's were the greatest thing in the world...Well. I know men like that too!!! LOL Just talk that's all I would do.

Answer 3

This is normal curiosity for a child of this age. However, it's obvious that it makes everyone else in the family uncomfortable. Therefore, you need to have a serious talk with him--people have a right to their personal space, people have a right to privacy, etc. Do you have locks on your bathroom and bedroom doors? If not, get some and use them. Also, ask him if he has any questions about genital areas. If so, answer them matter-of-factly (but no show and tell). If he continues to intrude on people's privacy, discipline him promptly and consistently (example: 5-minute time-out or loss of privilege). Do not scold, yell or sensationalize. Once he realizes that he's not getting the desired attention he'll quit.

Answer 4

First off, start locking the door when you or anyone else uses the bathroom. (Surely it has a lock???) Then you need to have a talk with him; you might want to have both parents present, so he knows that both of you share the same thoughts on this. Beforehand, decide whether you or your husband should be the one to handle issues concerning private matters. That parent should keep the role throughout his childhood and adolescence; he has to know who to go to if he has any private questions or problems.

During your talk, you need to cover several things. Tell him that his lower area is private, and that the only people who can look at or touch it are a doctor, the designated parent, and himself. (Obviously, the parent shouldn't touch his privates unless it's medically relevant; make this clear to him.) Mention that other people don't want him looking at their privates either; they have the same right to privacy as he does. Tell him that because his actions are innappropriate, there will be punishments if he keeps repeating them. Tell him what this punishment will be, so he knows what to expect.

After you have this talk, if he continues with the same behaviour, you need to carry out the punishment. This could be a 6-minute time-out, or the removal of a toy or game for a week. Hopefully showing him that privacy is important, and invading other peoples' has consequences, will teach him to stop this behaviour. Good luck!

Answer 5

Although it may seem like there is something to worry about, there usually isn't. My son is now 6 and we went through the same thing with him. My best friend is going through the same thing with her 4 year old now. It is very normal for a child to be curious about their body and the difference between a male and a female. I just explained to my son that it was inappropriate behavior and why it was inappropriate behavior and it did not take him very long to stop doing it. I am also going through it with my daughter but a child is curious about everything and the best thing to do is explain to them in a truthful manner whatever it is that they are curious about. This will keep them from being curious with the wrong person and either getting in trouble or worse.

Answer 6

I think that curiosity is what started this and now he is looking for reactions. When you react, you are enforcing the behavior. Try not react, but if you must, do so in a way that makes him think. Take away a privilege that he is really fond of. Or if you are going on a family outing, leave him with the babysitter while the rest of the family goes out as punishment for his "exhibits" and he will probably get the idea.

Answer 7

Hi,

I don't think u should put it as 'unhealthy interest', coz he probably does it out of curiosity. My boy is around the same age as yours, he did that too sometime ago, like exposing his genital area to us & thought that it was funny. However he soon lost interest of it coz we didn't make a huha, instead i told him sternly that it's ok if he does it, but only behind the closed door. I also cut out some news articles & paste it on the fridge door to let him know the consequences that those people had to face for exposing themselves. Educate him on human body parts by using the reference books from library. To me, kids r innocent.....

Answer 8

I think there could be two reasons for his behavior. One is of course the "attention factor" you mentioned. Any attention is good attention to a younger child. If he is going to get attention from you guys by flashing his genitals at you or by walking in and staring at yours, he is going to keep doing it.

The other reason could be plain curiosity. He is at the age where he has now realizing what makes guys different from girls. He wants to know what it is, and why yours doesn't look like his. You might try to talk to him about this. I know our society has made this topic "taboo" when talking to our kids, but if you don't talk to him about it, it could just make matters worse later. Good luck:)

Answer 9

I think it is just the age but he needs to learn to respect other peoples privacy. Give him what the consequences of his actions will be and follow through. Take away every toy and anything important every time he does this. No pocket money, no friends over, no tv etc. get on top of it because if he does it at school there could be HUGE problems

Answer 10

I am no expert but I think a childs curiosity is normal afterall he doesn't know what these parts are used for except to go pee and poo. Talk to him on his level and explain to him about how those parts are private etc. Instead of reacting to his behavior try ignoring it. Maybe he is seeking attention. Try praising him for other forms of positive behavior. I am not an expert but maybe It wouldn't hurt to try. I have children and sometimes when they know something is wrong but get some form of attention from they keep doing it.