Are all mothers like this?

Question

A little background info. Any time, in my life that I have ever made a friend, had a boyfriend, or developed any sort of relationship with another person, my mother has always seemed to "win them over". I know this sounds really childish, but it's so true. She buys them outrageous things or sucks up to them beyond belief until she has them tell her every move I make. Now that I'm older, and I don't have to bring these people to her house, she has found a new way of tormenting me. For the last three years I haven't been invited to family events except for usual holidays, but I'm sure that's next. When I confronted finally confronted her, she said I have no right to be upset. Should I just give up?

Answer 1

Just be happy you still have a mom!

There are just some things I could never discuss with my dad.

Answer 2

No dear, no all mothers are like this. Some are better some are worse... family is a lottery, you can not choose who you want to be your mother. She will not change, you know that, right?

Try to keep her out of your private life, I am not telling you to not visit her or to not talk to her. Just do not comment anything about your personal things to her and keep your friends yours, don't share your friends with her. And if you will take your boy frind with you to visit her tell him how she is before he get there.

No matter how many times you try to make her understand she is wrong, she will not understand. She just will say the same every time you confront her.

So, now you know this will not gonna change. Keep her out of your private life.

Good luck

Answer 3

My mom is strange in the other ways .. All my life she wouldnt let me to have any friends and she was keeping me at home all the time and not letting me playing with my friends . She wouldnt let me get in touch with the outside world . In school I didnt have one single friend because if I would she would ruin it for me by coming to school and tell the kid to keep away from me . When I left the house and one day I came and introduced my boyfriend she hated him and showed it right in his face , then she made him to run away . My mom has co dependent problem and she thinks if I have a friend or boyfriend I leave her .. Well one week ago I got really sick , I had to go to a doctor because I had chest pain and doctor said you have to go to a specialist , well make the long story short , my mom called and I told her to stop arguing with me because I am really sick and I have heart problem after that she never called me to ask how I am doing ... well she can go to hell with all the mom who are the same as her

Answer 4

Mom has some problems. She is going to be a royal pain when you date.

She sound like one of those parents that make you want to go to college at the opposite end of the states.

I'd ask family why you are not invited to family events.

Watch Dr Phil you can get some good therapy tips.

Answer 5

Congratulations on standing up to your mom (and I'm a mom). If your perspective is true then you should stand up to her. She sounds controlling. She sounds like she has bad boundaries, like she doesn't know where she ends and where you begin. She may wish she was young like you and vamp off your friends. But before you judge tooooo harshly, one day, you'll hopefully be a mom to a daughter yourself and you'll understand more. Be TRUE to yourself. TRUST yourself. And be GRATEFUL for her. Even if what you most learn from her is the kind of mother or woman you don't want to be (at least in certain ways.)

Answer 6

Honey, you are going to have to love your mother as she is. You confronted her and she knows you "know" what she was up to. Now, you are grown. Just let it lay. It's not worth dishing over and over. That's like scratching a scab; it will never heal. Your mama won't change and you'll torture yourself trying to get her approval. Just "let it go"....write a letter....write your heart out and then have an "approval and forgiveness" ceremony of your own...with candles and incense; light the letter and let the ashes fly with the wind as your hurt will do if you let it. It's very healing to do this. Just keep mom on a "need to know" basis and ground yourself by loving yourself. I have to agree with another answer; by happy you have a mother. As I write this (no joke) my mother is dying of liver failure and it's killing me and my family. Life is too short for all that petty crap, dear. Mom is here. She is what she is. God Bless you. Say a prayer for my Mama.

Answer 7

I don't really know you, so I can't exactly tell but maybe she is just trying to be nice. I have to say, I would be pretty grateful if I was getting great gifts! Maybe she is trying to put them at ease. It's not exactly easy 'meeting the parents' so she could just be breaking the ice and letting them know that they are accepted.

ALL mothers have to tell your friends/partners about your life stories. Just be glad she didn't break out the baby photos!

Answer 8

It seems your mother is trying to keep tabs on your through your boyfriends. She seems overly controlling and over-protective of her "baby". If I were you, I'd find another relative to keep me updated on family events, find a boyfriend with enough backbone to not get sucked in by your mother, and suggest to your mother that she needs psychological counseling since she's trying "to tie you up in the apron strings." Limit your contact with her if your old enough to be on your own. Good Luck.

Answer 9

I think you should be happy you have a mom at all. I know thats hard to see when having these problems but enjoy the happiness and unhappiness. I dont have family at all and it really really is lonely.

Answer 10

My mother seems to not like me having friends, she believes family is more important than friends.